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If You Go, You Usually Have To Come Back Again

rp_23219947_8c2cef7e59_m.jpgIf you go you usually have got to come back and take up the reins again. Most trips aren’t one way.  It seems often you can’t have one without the other.  Haven’t you noticed it often seems to take longer to get to a new place then it takes to go back?  Why is it we often focus only on the front part of a journey and when it is time to go back, we say wishfully I wish I didn’t have to go back.

Does the trip going home wear you out more or the trip getting there?  In my mind’s eye I can see the exhausted mother and father standing just inside the door with bags and suitcases and parcels all around them on the floor where they have just dropped them.  Think of the dirty laundry that has to be done and the work, school. and church or other social schedules that have to be resumed.

laughing_catFor example, what about a shopping trip to the mall or the home supply store?  Where do we put the stuff that we get?  When do we start the project (and finish it) that we got the things for?  What about when we get the credit card statement and have to start making the payments?  What if the clothes or shoes don’t fit and we find out that we overly optimistic about this  What if we got lumber or something else that needs to be the right width or length and we discovered we had mis-measured?

Don’t we always find going shopping rewarding as we get to see and think about all the things that are available out there.  Are our eyes bigger than our stomachs?  Have we bit off more than we can chew?   How about when you have a party at your house and have to clean up all the mess afterwards.?

Remember when you go, you have to come back!  Makes sense doesn’t it?  It usually is no laughing matter!

Do You Let Others Make You Feel Bad When You Have Done Nothing Wrong?

rp_291253057_150_150.jpgDo you let others make you feel bad when you have done nothing wrong.  Some people call this a “guilt trip” but this is more complicated. Some people thrive on the fact that they can make other people feel bad so they can get what they want from them.  Some people make “their living” by manipulating others into doing what they want them to do.  It is also known as the game of “Gotcha  Ya!”  Why feel responsible for your own behavior when you can make others feel guilty for doubting you.  Some of us have a “guilty conscience” which is easily manipulated even when we have done nothing wrong.  This lets other people who don’t really care about your feelings get away with “murder”.

This works especially well when you can get an innocent person to doubt that he or she  (who you know will get the blame) did the right thing?  Do you know that you have to have a conscience in order to to be manipulated in this way.  I don’t know if knowing this is happening will make you feel better when it happens to you; but it should.

Yes, it is a scam and the person perpetuating this scam will continue to do this to you or other ones that you love until they no longer can get away with it.  This usually never happens because they usually can get people to feel a shadow of a doubt that something is going on here.  Worse comes to worse these people will move on to other people if they can no longer get away with this with you , your friends, or family.

Stop Letting Others Manipulate You.

Stop Letting Others Manipulate You.

The People Of The Lie Are Excellant Manipulators Because they Have No Conscience

The People Of The Lie Are Excellant Manipulators Because they Have No Conscience

They often rely on the fact that you will not check the facts and that the other people involved in the scheme don’t know you and/or that you won’t contact them to check things out.  Lying is usually not a problem for these manipulators.  If you can be fooled this way then you deserve to be scammed.  At the very least, it will not cost you much to bail them out or make something right so that they or the person they are lying about won’t have to suffer.  They believe in spreading the “wealth” and they are just helping it along.  And the better they are at this game the less likely they will get caught.

They really don’t like people to get to know them well and may or may not move on when they think that somebody might get onto their game.  You may notice that they seem to know more about you than you do about them.  They are always moving around, trying to get a new job, and when they ask for help you may not have heard from them in a awhile and not have known what they have been doing.  They can find you easy enough but you have difficulty finding them as their addresses, jobs, and phones may have changed or be cut off.  You are never sure of the “facts” and you often known how or with whom you can check them.  You are often an “open book” and they can easily find you and check up on you.  One I knew had the gall to find their phone number and to call some friends of ours to check up on us “on a fact? finding mission.”.

rp_291253057_150_150.jpgThe biggest price besides maybe money is that you feel “bad” whenever this happens to you and they attempt to make you feel bad when there is no reason for you to feel bad and every reason to doubt them and not feel bad.  They also may get your family and friends to sympathize with them and believe you did something wrong too.

I would apologize to Robin Williams; but I can’t since he has passed away.  However, in this picture, he has that “look” like he is signaling to you that you have done something naughty and that you should be at least a little bit ashamed.

 

 

Never Stop Learning New Things. Don’t give up!

rp_2269499855_31a018a8f6_m.jpgOnce you’ve met your peak.  Once you have met your goals.  Don’t give up.   Learning is a life long process and it doesn’t end until you are at “Heaven’s” door.  Once you have the motivation, you will never give up.  Life continues to unfold as you know more and more.  This way you’ll never be a bore.  I have not stopped and I never will.

Many people once they reach the “mountain top” begin to slide down the slippery slope toward life’s ending.  Whatever goal they achieve, they may say to themselves, “Is that all that there is?”  and if they get back the answer, “Yes,” they give up and tread water for the rest of their lives until they get tired of doing it and sink into the throws of life’s end.

rp_Machine-Doest-Have-Brain-Sign-S-8429.gifFor me death is not an ending, it is a transition.  I prefer to call it that because I believe that life goes on in another way when you reach it.   I realize that transitioning can happen at anytime and for many it comes too early and for others, too late.  I don’t like to keep my brain busy with thinking about  it.

Sometimes it is better to focus on the present moment and enjoy what happens.  For example, a person with early memory problems may enjoy a phone call or reading a card; but then not remember everything that was talked about.    Should family and friends stop communicating with this person because they will not remember all of what is said?  My answer is, “No.”  There is still pleasure in the moment.  Why deny them that?

rp_5238574678_75a3ca1b14_m.jpgFor the person above the pleasure of learning “new” things happens over and over.  Why deny them that pleasure.  Why deny yourself the pleasure of learning new things or of seeing things in a new way?  Holding too strongly onto the “old” can deny yourself the pleasure of the “new”.  Who knows what is left to learn?  Learning new things is known to keep your brain young.  Sharing the joy of learning can bond people of any age.  Why be a “bore” or a “stick in the mud”. Especially to yourself!

Take A Trip This Christmas And Leave Your Worries Behind

Take a trip this Christmas.  It doesn’t matter where you go  if you know you won’t have to do anything but enjoy the ride.  That is what I am going to do when I take a Christmas shopping trip tomorrow.  Somebody else is driving and I don’t have to worry about getting in and out of the vehicle and finding a parking space.  We are going out to dinner and seeing Christmas lights.  The most it will cost me is a small fee for the ride and whatever I decide to pay for my food at dinner.  I have nothing in particular to get and I will be happy to get out and about no matter what stores we go to.  It is out of my hands and I like it that way.  There will be no drama as far as I am concerned as I don’t expect more than what I have described on this trip.

rp_300px-Face-smile.svg_.pngI leaving my worries and bills at home.  My motto at home is ” what house gets kept I keep”;  and I am sure the household chores that don’t get done before I go will be there waiting there for me when I get home.    I will empty my mind and leave room to experience the gift of the present.  I will not be concerned with whether or not I will make friends. . I just want to get along with the other passengers.   I won’t be rude or crude.  I don’t care which seat I get in the bus.  I won’t fight over a window seat .  I won’t try to take control of the group riding the bus and demand that they sing Christmas carols, the ones that I want to sing

I am going to let go and no matter what happens (even if it doesn’t make me deliriously  happy) I am going to accept it and realize that the privilege of getting to go on the trip is enough  and so is having a chance to to leave all my cares behind.  Now your “trip” might not be my “trip”; but do it anyway.  Just let go and do something with few expectations about what will happen.  Give yourself a break.  If  possible, leave all or as many of your responsibilities behind as you can.  You can always take them back up again when your “trip” ends.

Risky Business!

Do you do things everyday that could cost you your life or someone else’s life?  Do you do things daily that would or could cost you a lot of money?  Why do we take these risks?  Are we more moved by the possibility of instant satisfaction instead of safely curbing these impulses to avoid  future penalties?

Is it our inner voice that encourages or discourages this?  Do we listen to others and not our own common sense? Do we have a set of defense mechanisms such as denial and rationalization in place to prevent our listening to warnings in our own head, in the media, or from our family?denialquote,Egypt

How few of the life promoting resolutions that get made at New Years ever come to fruition such as driving safely or living a more healthy lifestyle?

Also do we put our own lives first or do we satisfy everybody else’s needs and neglect our own which then justifies our breeches of safety when we do have a chance to do  something impulsive and costly when we feel that we have a chance to satisfy our own needs versus those of others.

 

 

When Will You Come Out Of The Closet And Help Yourself Or Others??

rp_300px-Baby.jpgThe value of human life is invaluable but many people want us to hide our light under a bushel basket so that they can let theirs shine.  When are you going to come out of the closet and stop others from making us do this.  Just as it is life changing for a homosexual to come out of the closet so is it life changing for any individual to come out of the closet and expose who he or she really is.

Forcing a belief system on another through coercion is not the way to spread love and knowledge.  We all have something to contribute and to have another’s belief system forced upon us out of the fear that our expressing our beliefs system which is different will restrict theirs.

I believe we all have something to contribute if we believe in our selves from the most developmentally disabled individual to the most brilliant and verbal individual.  When we assemble in a group, why do we almost automatically begin to judge ourselves against each other.  Leaving some people out and promoting other people to positions of leadership over the rest of us.  How often does someone sit quietly in a classroom because they feel that they have little to contribute.  So often people criticize others and complain about others so strongly that they cause others to shut up and make no contributions for fear of being criticized.

rp_3476636111_c551295ca4_m.jpgGreat people like Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross have recognized the contributions of “little” people that most people don’t notice or ignore.  How about the cleaning lady who when she goes into hospital rooms her mere presence quiets and comforts dying patients?  Consider the behavior of the “Father” also known as Pope Francis who has not taken on the pompt and circumstance of being the Pope and thus has discouraged those in the Vatican and Cardinals and other clergy in positions of authority from elevating themselves above other religious or common folk.

How uncertain are we about expressing ourselves when we see what other people can do to us when we express ourselves.  In psychology, this is called relational aggression versus direct aggression which involves actually hurting someone physically.  Rejecting someone and encouraging others to reject them too can be deadly (sometimes resulting in self-murder or suicide or mass murders of innocent people) .  Have you ever feel that your own opinion was as good or better as someone else’s or that your instinct to do something in a given situation would have resulted in a better outcome than someone else got? but we stay quiet.  How much does that actually help the world  if all the good people  keep their mouths shut.

All of us are diamonds in the rough.  It just takes cutting and polishing to bring out our brilliance.   Some of us are fearful of going through this process.  Some of us do not have enough self-confidence.  What if people like Ghandi kept their mouth shut.  What if mother Teresa had been content to just be an ordinary nun?  Would she have been more comfortable?  When Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross came out against quarantining and rejecting children who had aids (through no fault of their own), she was virtually kicked out of the community that wouldn’t let her take them in.

embarassingquestionsHow often have you been in a group where you kept your mouth shut even though you might have said what many others were also thinking?  This can be true about supporting homosexuals right to lead normal lives without rejection and persecution.  Have you ever kept your mouth shut in a group where someone was trying to do this? or something similar?  I am not wanting to take away anyone’s right to disapprove of homosexuality while taking the right to app0rove of it or at least not to reject it.  On the one hand, everyone  has rights and we have to be careful not to take away someone’s rights while asserting the right to have our own.  On the other hand, have you ever supported someone else’s rights while keeping quiet about your right to your own beliefs?

Stoke The Fire And Watch The Blaze

rp_2793302319_fb8e5d72d7_m.jpgHow come we leave the most important jobs to chance and neglect providing any preparation for them in the aim of providing people the chance to put their mark on something very important or  to ignore it .  Do we have the inalienable right to mess up somebody’s life before the person even has a chance to live it?  Is reproduction a right or a privilege?  Could we mess up another person’s life this drastically if we weren’t allowed to exert this influence until their were of a majority?  Does ownership apply only to property and not to people?  Sometimes you would think so but it is not true.  Do we have the right to mess up a person’s life just because we took part in the conception of him or her?  Environmentalists want to restrict people’s rights to use their property but we don’t want to restrict a family’s rights to shape their offspring’s development and future contributions to society and to stunt or restrict a child’s future potential?

 

rp_277759056_8069814eb7_m.jpgPeople who get parenting classes early enough either before they have children or before it is too late to help their children find it benefits both themselves and their offspring.  In terms of protecting people’s rights to promote have their own set of values we may prevent some people from having any values at all or from being exposed to any set of values.  Are or are not values useful?  Do values help guide people to acqiring goals in life and acquiring respect for other people having their own maybe different sets of values.  Not having values and therefore not teaching them often leads to only protecting the right to not having any values.  Also the value of human life either after conception or after birth often has no value and results in killing and enslaving other humans.

Love often gets left out of the equation when values get left out of the equation.  Babies placed in orphanages in the past to be raised without mothers (or fathers) failed to thrive and did not live to grow up.  Some people get more upset about the abuse and neglect of animals than they do about that of children and babies born and unborn..  Some animals if given tne chance become emotionally attached to other animals or humans if given the chance.  Do humans have the right to be given this chance.  We talk about pets who give their masters unconditional love and how people who are alone and maybe also ill do better if they have access to pets.  What is unconditional love.  It is love given without the expectation of it being returned.  It is recognition of the innate worth of life.  It is something that innately benefits the giver as much as it benefits the recipient.rp_277759056_8069814eb7_m.jpg

Love is giving without expecting it to be returned.  Modern day business people might think that a person would be crazy to do this.   Forced giving does not assuredly generate trust nor reciprocation.  Stoke the fire and watch the blaze.  Each person has something to give.  Love is the core of values.  Caring for other forms of life reinforces the value we have for life.  Often we give up caring about something because we feel it won’t help.  Evil (the absence of values) is facilitated by those who have been encouraged to have no hope that they will to be able to make a difference.

Look up the words, “power” and “force.”  We are often encouraged to think that we don’t have the strength to be able to make something to happen.  This is the core belief behind wars.  That is that we have to exert force and go against somebody’s will in order to make them do something they don’t want to do but what we want them to do anyway.  “Power” is the strength inherent in wanting really to do good.  It is stronger than “force.”  Good people often don’t use it because they don’t think that the have it and /or that it will work against the force of evil.  However, consider Gandhi and Martin Luther King as examples of “power” in action.  “Love” and “good” are  the strength behind power.

rp_2793302319_fb8e5d72d7_m.jpgStoke the fire of “good” and watch the blaze.  Giving unconditional love is the way to do this.  We are not “powerless” as other people who have no values, who want other people to have no values, and who would use “force” to generate evil would like us to think.

Why do we hurt each other instead of those who hurt us?

"Make my day!

“Make my day!

Just thinking…That can get you in trouble around here.  (Want to get this up in rough draft form before the internet gets too busy discussing this issue.)  How many people in Ferguson, Los Angles, and Chicago etc. are hurting fellow African Americans?  Looting each others’ businesses, destroying each others property, and making it impossible for fellow African American’s who have done no wrong to live peaceful law abiding lives.  Why are we hurting each other instead of arresting and prosecuting the law breakers who promote lawlessness in their own or others’ communities?  How come has it become impossible  for fellow African Americans and also the Caucasian  and Hispanic residents of these riot torn communities to live peaceful lives and carry out normal business and to be able to safely travel in these communities?

I was a student in Madison WI at the University of Wisconsin during the Vietnam war riots after the math research building was blown up by protestors and one graduate student killed (murdered?) in the blast who was peacefully studying in the building.  It was amazing that no others were killed or hurt in the blast because there was damage around the bomb site for blocks.  The most noticeable damage were the shattered windows in my own psychology building blocks away and in the University Hospital complex where people came from all over to receive state of the art medical care.

I (silly me!) tried to carry on normal business going to class and carrying on my research.  Certain times of day it was not safe to be on campus.  My stomach was tied in knots.  Certain students and professors made it clear that they enjoyed not participating in normal campus business like teaching, attending classes, etc. and rioting instead.  For them, it was a big party.  I remember barrels of trash set on fire in the intersections at night and young national guardsmen so scared that they shook when they gave you orders.  Don’t worry I knew that they didn’t know if I was friend or foe.

To them I was just another student and potential rioter or bomb thrower.   What had I done to deserve this.  Nothing.  I was just an innocent bystander.  What about the law abiding people of Ferguson who are losing their businesses and directing from that their jobs and sources of income.  Why can they no longer go peacefully about their business?

Also I have a husband who was directly involved in quelling the rots in Joliet IL at that time because he was in the national guard.  He won’t talk about it.  Talk about post-traumatic stress here in our own country.

I feel there is a strong politically correct movement that is preventing us from caring about each other and teaching any kind of morality.  Why is this movement hurting innocent bystanders and keeping the rioting in some cases from their own doorsteps?

Just thinking….  Government is supposed to help people  not hurt them.  That is why we have it.  There are small local movements for paying it forward and helping each other with nothing expected in return.  Where is our voice in government and in local problems?  Why are we the ones who ultimately get hurt by this?

This may get me in trouble!  What about the coming of the Antichrist?  Why have we not heard this speculated about in the media in these times?

P.S.   I can’t get any related articles from the web about the Antichrist?!

 

 

 

 

 

 

How Easily Intimidated Are You?

taking-advice-badgeDo you do what is right even if other people will think it is wrong?  Will you do what other people think is wrong when you know it is right?  How easily intimidated are you?

How well do you stand up for yourself or others when this happens?  Are you easily shamed or guilted into doing something that makes you personally uncomfortable  even at your own personal expense.  When the rolis called up yonder and you go before the ultimate judge (yourself) how will you fare?  How many things will you have missed out on?   How many chances will you have passed by to do what you knew was the right thing but didn’t have enough courage to do?

What will you have sacrificed to make others happy by letting them get away with abusing your time trying to convince you that they are right when you know they are wrong.  Giving up being joyful and happy so that others who will never learn anything the hard way can escape the consequences of their behavior.  Do you sometimes feel life is a drag especially when you go along with other peoples’ preferences instead of your own especially if those choices will make you uncomfortable and continue to suck the joy out of your life.11478115084_52613dd791_z

Worse yet you go against your own internal moral code in order to conform to societies expectations and generalizations about “correct” behavior that could be be and might be applied to your behavior.  Are you willing to be punished for doing something you know is really “right” even if it goes against the codes of  others?

How independent are your standards both for yourself and others.  Are you willing to spend time with someone who is boring but doesn’t know it because other people often let him or her get away with it.  Would you spend time with someone who has few friends but who would appreciate getting your time or do you follow the crowd and do the same old thing that you do every time you go out instead?  What does your intuition say you should do?

Rediscovering Yourself

meditation stonesI went to Sedona to rediscover myself.

Rediscovering your self is a process that you go through many times in your life.  You may think that you already know who you are and then you discover what you really are is really someone else.  Have you become society”s conception of what you ought to be.  Make your own plan, forge ahead blindly not knowing where you are going but knowing you have the freedom to do so.

Meet your soul, the person you were meant to be, not letting other people or other things determine who you are.  Do you not know what you want.  although you may know what you do not want.  Unfortunately the unconscious only understands positive statements and we waste a lot of time having negative thoughts and not converting these negative thoughts into positive ones.  We don’t want to be disappointed so we warn ourselves that we must protect ourselves against losing things that have come to mean a lot to us.

rp_300px-ThinkingMan_Rodin.jpgMost of us were warned against having a “big head” as a child or even as an adult and this prevents  us from promoting ourselves.  Fortunately or unfortunately men more than women are encouraged and reinforced for creating a name for themselves and for getting respect from others.  Think of the accomplishments a man can line up: school board president, kindly old physician, preacher, evangelist, solid businessman.  Someone whose opinions and comments count.

Some of us have been encouraged to step back and let others have the limelight.  “Pride goeth before a fall.” A male “expert” often gets more recognition than a female “expert”. We think for  “the chosen” to have powers, others must shirk or shrink from the limelight.

Our self-confidence is often  so fragile that we can become depressed and procrastinate and feel  doomed to fail.  We think that there is no room in the inn for us and we must settle for the stable.    We spin our wheels and get nowhere.

Everyone is important just as every child is precious.  Do you not think that your grandchild or son or daughter is or was precious.  Their eyes, their nose, their mouth were perfect.  Every saying they made or thing that they did or created was or is  precious.  Something to be cherished and remembered.  What happened to you?  When did you stop being a cute little kid?  God’s or nature’s perfect gift.

rp_303404356_6ff7a23b4b_m.jpgSelf confidence and courage do a lot to keep a person from having cold feet about what they want to accomplish.  Most of us suffer from the that we can’t debilitating have or do what we want so we stop wishing and visualizing the perfect future for us.

Sometimes we focus on one objective  that was chosen by ourselves as an acceptable one or by others for us to the exception of all else.  Remember when we free to explore all outlets of life back when your artwork or other creations were considered to be significant and not a waste of time.  Yet you began to work harder and harder to meet the one goal that you thought was achieveable whether you liked it or not.

The opportunities are endless if you believe in their existence.  Don’t limit yourself and don’t let others limit you.  Are you the friend everybody likes because compared to you they are successful in life?  “Oh, woe is me”, can be an endless litany and those who listen to it can become tried of it eventually.  When should you start discovering your real self?  THE TIME IS NOW!