(Short; but not too sweet.)
Do you ever listen to what you say to others? Did you ever try to take your own advice? What kind of advice you give can be very self-revealing. Carefully done it is like looking in a mirror and seeing yourself reflected there, not someone else.
What are the problems that you see others as having that bother you the most? Could it be very revealing to list them and see if you often have them too? Make a list of the things that bother you the most. Put them somewhere where you can look at them. Either inside a cupboard door or the bathroom cabinet door or out on a mirror where you will get a chance to look at it every day.
Ever hear someone say, “I don’t see why someone should do something or something should be done about that?, ” and it is clearly descriptive of what the person them-self needs to do or have done.
Don’t let yourself read this with a self-satisfied smirk as you apply it to someone else and forget who this is really about! “You!” Whose behavior can you really change? “Yours!”
Mine is to tell the truth, sometimes the hardest thing for me to do, as I fear and think that I can’t handle rejection. Why do we reject others, when we don’t want to be rejected ourselves?
Over the years I have been attracted to signs, symbols, and works of art having to do with Mary the Mother of Jesus in spite of the fact that I was raised a Protestant not a Catholic. Not only have I found such things for my own personal collection, but I have also created such things as my own personal works of art. I have read many books about the creation of nuns (the Brides of Christ) and have enjoyed many songs and much poetry about the Madonna, the Virgin Mary.
It was fascinating to learn that many of the songs of the Lutheran church (a Protestant church) as well as its liturgy came from the Catholic church as they were originally written in Latin, the language of the Catholic Church.
Wasn’t Mother Mary a major participant in the Christmas story about Jesus’s birth along with God the Father? Joseph was Mary’s husband, not Jesus’s actual father, although he functioned as Jesus’s father on this earth.
Jesus has been called the son of God and the son of man. Wasn’t he actually the son of Mary, a woman and a virgin? Women are the major participants in the birth of children as they carry them as they grow and develop from a fertilized egg to a tiny infant who is ready to be born and eat, breath, and grow on their own.
If you go you usually have got to come back and take up the reins again. Most trips aren’t one way. It seems often you can’t have one without the other. Haven’t you noticed it often seems to take longer to get to a new place then it takes to go back? Why is it we often focus only on the front part of a journey and when it is time to go back, we say wishfully I wish I didn’t have to go back.
Does the trip going home wear you out more or the trip getting there? In my mind’s eye I can see the exhausted mother and father standing just inside the door with bags and suitcases and parcels all around them on the floor where they have just dropped them. Think of the dirty laundry that has to be done and the work, school. and church or other social schedules that have to be resumed.
For example, what about a shopping trip to the mall or the home supply store? Where do we put the stuff that we get? When do we start the project (and finish it) that we got the things for? What about when we get the credit card statement and have to start making the payments? What if the clothes or shoes don’t fit and we find out that we overly optimistic about this What if we got lumber or something else that needs to be the right width or length and we discovered we had mis-measured?
Don’t we always find going shopping rewarding as we get to see and think about all the things that are available out there. Are our eyes bigger than our stomachs? Have we bit off more than we can chew? How about when you have a party at your house and have to clean up all the mess afterwards.?
Remember when you go, you have to come back! Makes sense doesn’t it? It usually is no laughing matter!
Do you let others make you feel bad when you have done nothing wrong. Some people call this a “guilt trip” but this is more complicated. Some people thrive on the fact that they can make other people feel bad so they can get what they want from them. Some people make “their living” by manipulating others into doing what they want them to do. It is also known as the game of “Gotcha Ya!” Why feel responsible for your own behavior when you can make others feel guilty for doubting you. Some of us have a “guilty conscience” which is easily manipulated even when we have done nothing wrong. This lets other people who don’t really care about your feelings get away with “murder”.
This works especially well when you can get an innocent person to doubt that he or she (who you know will get the blame) did the right thing? Do you know that you have to have a conscience in order to to be manipulated in this way. I don’t know if knowing this is happening will make you feel better when it happens to you; but it should.
Yes, it is a scam and the person perpetuating this scam will continue to do this to you or other ones that you love until they no longer can get away with it. This usually never happens because they usually can get people to feel a shadow of a doubt that something is going on here. Worse comes to worse these people will move on to other people if they can no longer get away with this with you , your friends, or family.
They often rely on the fact that you will not check the facts and that the other people involved in the scheme don’t know you and/or that you won’t contact them to check things out. Lying is usually not a problem for these manipulators. If you can be fooled this way then you deserve to be scammed. At the very least, it will not cost you much to bail them out or make something right so that they or the person they are lying about won’t have to suffer. They believe in spreading the “wealth” and they are just helping it along. And the better they are at this game the less likely they will get caught.
They really don’t like people to get to know them well and may or may not move on when they think that somebody might get onto their game. You may notice that they seem to know more about you than you do about them. They are always moving around, trying to get a new job, and when they ask for help you may not have heard from them in a awhile and not have known what they have been doing. They can find you easy enough but you have difficulty finding them as their addresses, jobs, and phones may have changed or be cut off. You are never sure of the “facts” and you often known how or with whom you can check them. You are often an “open book” and they can easily find you and check up on you. One I knew had the gall to find their phone number and to call some friends of ours to check up on us “on a fact? finding mission.”.
The biggest price besides maybe money is that you feel “bad” whenever this happens to you and they attempt to make you feel bad when there is no reason for you to feel bad and every reason to doubt them and not feel bad. They also may get your family and friends to sympathize with them and believe you did something wrong too.
I would apologize to Robin Williams; but I can’t since he has passed away. However, in this picture, he has that “look” like he is signaling to you that you have done something naughty and that you should be at least a little bit ashamed.
Once you’ve met your peak. Once you have met your goals. Don’t give up. Learning is a life long process and it doesn’t end until you are at “Heaven’s” door. Once you have the motivation, you will never give up. Life continues to unfold as you know more and more. This way you’ll never be a bore. I have not stopped and I never will.
Many people once they reach the “mountain top” begin to slide down the slippery slope toward life’s ending. Whatever goal they achieve, they may say to themselves, “Is that all that there is?” and if they get back the answer, “Yes,” they give up and tread water for the rest of their lives until they get tired of doing it and sink into the throws of life’s end.
For me death is not an ending, it is a transition. I prefer to call it that because I believe that life goes on in another way when you reach it. I realize that transitioning can happen at anytime and for many it comes too early and for others, too late. I don’t like to keep my brain busy with thinking about it.
Sometimes it is better to focus on the present moment and enjoy what happens. For example, a person with early memory problems may enjoy a phone call or reading a card; but then not remember everything that was talked about. Should family and friends stop communicating with this person because they will not remember all of what is said? My answer is, “No.” There is still pleasure in the moment. Why deny them that?
For the person above the pleasure of learning “new” things happens over and over. Why deny them that pleasure. Why deny yourself the pleasure of learning new things or of seeing things in a new way? Holding too strongly onto the “old” can deny yourself the pleasure of the “new”. Who knows what is left to learn? Learning new things is known to keep your brain young. Sharing the joy of learning can bond people of any age. Why be a “bore” or a “stick in the mud”. Especially to yourself!
Take a trip this Christmas. It doesn’t matter where you go if you know you won’t have to do anything but enjoy the ride. That is what I am going to do when I take a Christmas shopping trip tomorrow. Somebody else is driving and I don’t have to worry about getting in and out of the vehicle and finding a parking space. We are going out to dinner and seeing Christmas lights. The most it will cost me is a small fee for the ride and whatever I decide to pay for my food at dinner. I have nothing in particular to get and I will be happy to get out and about no matter what stores we go to. It is out of my hands and I like it that way. There will be no drama as far as I am concerned as I don’t expect more than what I have described on this trip.
I leaving my worries and bills at home. My motto at home is ” what house gets kept I keep”; and I am sure the household chores that don’t get done before I go will be there waiting there for me when I get home. I will empty my mind and leave room to experience the gift of the present. I will not be concerned with whether or not I will make friends. . I just want to get along with the other passengers. I won’t be rude or crude. I don’t care which seat I get in the bus. I won’t fight over a window seat . I won’t try to take control of the group riding the bus and demand that they sing Christmas carols, the ones that I want to sing
I am going to let go and no matter what happens (even if it doesn’t make me deliriously happy) I am going to accept it and realize that the privilege of getting to go on the trip is enough and so is having a chance to to leave all my cares behind. Now your “trip” might not be my “trip”; but do it anyway. Just let go and do something with few expectations about what will happen. Give yourself a break. If possible, leave all or as many of your responsibilities behind as you can. You can always take them back up again when your “trip” ends.
Do you do things everyday that could cost you your life or someone else’s life? Do you do things daily that would or could cost you a lot of money? Why do we take these risks? Are we more moved by the possibility of instant satisfaction instead of safely curbing these impulses to avoid future penalties?
Is it our inner voice that encourages or discourages this? Do we listen to others and not our own common sense? Do we have a set of defense mechanisms such as denial and rationalization in place to prevent our listening to warnings in our own head, in the media, or from our family?
How few of the life promoting resolutions that get made at New Years ever come to fruition such as driving safely or living a more healthy lifestyle?
Also do we put our own lives first or do we satisfy everybody else’s needs and neglect our own which then justifies our breeches of safety when we do have a chance to do something impulsive and costly when we feel that we have a chance to satisfy our own needs versus those of others.
The value of human life is invaluable but many people want us to hide our light under a bushel basket so that they can let theirs shine. When are you going to come out of the closet and stop others from making us do this. Just as it is life changing for a homosexual to come out of the closet so is it life changing for any individual to come out of the closet and expose who he or she really is.
Forcing a belief system on another through coercion is not the way to spread love and knowledge. We all have something to contribute and to have another’s belief system forced upon us out of the fear that our expressing our beliefs system which is different will restrict theirs.
I believe we all have something to contribute if we believe in our selves from the most developmentally disabled individual to the most brilliant and verbal individual. When we assemble in a group, why do we almost automatically begin to judge ourselves against each other. Leaving some people out and promoting other people to positions of leadership over the rest of us. How often does someone sit quietly in a classroom because they feel that they have little to contribute. So often people criticize others and complain about others so strongly that they cause others to shut up and make no contributions for fear of being criticized.
Great people like Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross have recognized the contributions of “little” people that most people don’t notice or ignore. How about the cleaning lady who when she goes into hospital rooms her mere presence quiets and comforts dying patients? Consider the behavior of the “Father” also known as Pope Francis who has not taken on the pompt and circumstance of being the Pope and thus has discouraged those in the Vatican and Cardinals and other clergy in positions of authority from elevating themselves above other religious or common folk.
How uncertain are we about expressing ourselves when we see what other people can do to us when we express ourselves. In psychology, this is called relational aggression versus direct aggression which involves actually hurting someone physically. Rejecting someone and encouraging others to reject them too can be deadly (sometimes resulting in self-murder or suicide or mass murders of innocent people) . Have you ever feel that your own opinion was as good or better as someone else’s or that your instinct to do something in a given situation would have resulted in a better outcome than someone else got? but we stay quiet. How much does that actually help the world if all the good people keep their mouths shut.
All of us are diamonds in the rough. It just takes cutting and polishing to bring out our brilliance. Some of us are fearful of going through this process. Some of us do not have enough self-confidence. What if people like Ghandi kept their mouth shut. What if mother Teresa had been content to just be an ordinary nun? Would she have been more comfortable? When Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross came out against quarantining and rejecting children who had aids (through no fault of their own), she was virtually kicked out of the community that wouldn’t let her take them in.
How often have you been in a group where you kept your mouth shut even though you might have said what many others were also thinking? This can be true about supporting homosexuals right to lead normal lives without rejection and persecution. Have you ever kept your mouth shut in a group where someone was trying to do this? or something similar? I am not wanting to take away anyone’s right to disapprove of homosexuality while taking the right to app0rove of it or at least not to reject it. On the one hand, everyone has rights and we have to be careful not to take away someone’s rights while asserting the right to have our own. On the other hand, have you ever supported someone else’s rights while keeping quiet about your right to your own beliefs?