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Monthly Archives: September 2015

It Is Never Too Late To Grow Up Especially When Dating

rp_342852690_150_150.jpgIf you don’t grow up in childhood, you have a lot of work left to do in adulthood.  It is never to late to grow up.  Actually it is sometimes better to do your growing up in adulthood because you will have learned more over time and can make your own decisions based on several different points of view acquired over time and with the perspective as an adult.

Some times people have been force fed as what to what to do and not do as children or not fed at all and this can lead to poor and often premature decision-making as a young adult or even teenager.

For example, what did you know about dating and who to trust in the dating scene.  Were you glad just to get a date and didn’t think much about who the person was you chose to go out with?

If you are not introduced to the dating scene at the same time that other teenagers are going through it, you might be too naive.  If you are introduced to the dating scene too early because you have matured early and/or have more access to older teenagers, you can also make big mistakes.

Older teenagers might not be reliable sources for information on what to do and what not to do when dating or a naive teenager might bypass this stage altogether and not take precautions when accepting a date or meeting a new person somewhere.

Worse comes to worse, you might decide that you are lucky to get anyone to date you and worse yet marry you.  You might not know the requirements of a good husband or wife.  Worse yet you can’t take someone who knows what to watch out for on a date with you.  Even if you did, they might be too busy making-out to look out for you and your date.  I once got a ride home from college and the couple in the front seat paid more attention to each other than they did to driving.  This was not a safe situation to be in.

Also it is better to be truthful than secretive when educationing a teenager or older child about marriage, dating, and sex.  Also teenagers who haven’t matured yet can be very secretive and sneaky when it comes to not obeying their parents’ guidelines for going out with the opposite sex.

Not knowing or understanding what to look out for and why when dating (especially when meeting someone you don’t know, can lead to very bad decisions resulting in some very negative consequences like date rape or being taken advantage of financially.  Parents being too secretative about what to expect when interacting with the opposite sex can lead to bad mistakes like being glad you have been asked out or having had a request for a date accepted that you are not at all discriminating.  This can come from a sense of low self-worth.

Toddler Tidbits (Tips)

rp_360159124_150_150.jpgBecoming a grandmother has me dealing with usually two or three toddlers at a time (possibly four).  I would have more babies to watch but they aren’t out of diapers yet (P.S. I am used to the kind of diapers with pins in them).

Tips:

  1. When toddlers ask for something, don’t get started finding it or making it immediately because within five to ten or at the most fifteen minutes they will have asked for two or three more things and have forgotten the first thing.  It is wasted effort if you do the first thing first.
  2. Toddlers often don’t lie.  They just have great imaginations except when tattling and then it is not lying, it is blaming someone else before they get blamed for doing it his or herself.
  3. Toddlers sense of time is not like ours, a couple of minutes can seem like an hour when made to stand in the corner (or sit in a chair) because they repeatedly disobeyed a command and/or they are having a full blown temper tantrum or hissie fit.  (Don’t worry they will have forgotten about it long before you do.)
  4. If you don’t want toddlers to share a certain toy, put it up.  They usually feel possession is 9/10ths of the law and won’t give it back to the owner that easily.
  5. Remember toddlers deserve and consciously or unconsciously desire unconditional love.  A toddler doesn’t understand when you withdraw your love because of a misdemeanor and continue it even after the discipline is finished.  This doesn’t teach the toddler a lesson, this just tells him or her that you don’t love him or her now.

When Being Nice Is Not Being Nice At All

Facial Expressions?Recently I saw a neighbor lady that I had not seen in a long time.  We did not click this time either; but I didn’t think about it.  I had tried to make conversation but it didn’t work out.

I didn’t think about it until some of my family was talking about her and something she said to a person at the occasion where I saw her who was recovering from a recent total rejection by someone he or she had been in a relationship with for a long time.

It was very hurtful to hear about because it was obvious that this person had come to the party to at least distract his or herself from thinking about their recent loss.  The lady’s tone of voice was very sweet and it was obvious that she probably would say, if asked, that she was just expressing her concern.

Again I didn’t think about it; but the family members talking about the interaction felt that what the lady did was inappropriate and reminded the person she was talking to of his or her painful experience and the fact that he or she might be not be over it.

It wasn’t til later today thinking over what was said that I remembered that I never felt comfortable around that person because I often felt that she was insincere, possibily even phony, when she was trying to be nice.

The way the person said what she said and the circumstances under which she said it made it difficult for the person receiving her inquiry to tell her to leave him or her alone as he or she did not feel like talking about it; but the damage had already been done.

What do you think?  You know what I think.  Perhaps this is judgmental of me but perhaps this is a reminder to trust your gut feelings.  If something feels wrong even if it sounds okay, it still might be wrong.  Could she have been faking it?  Could she have been passive-aggressive and by shoving the knife in a little farther reminding him or her of their sorrow?

 

The Self-Actualized Lady Bug (Or Gentleman Bug)

rp_5922753845_4206ac2137_m.jpgDo you feel that you and what you do is insignificant?  The Lady Bug appears to be an insignificant insect.  Yet, what would a garden do without them?  They defend and protect it from predators.  They appear to be cute little things and because they are, they might not be expected to contribute much to life.  Except as a pleasant diversion to observe when in the garden.

Lady Bugs go quietly about their tasks and are often overlooked; but what would we do without them?  Maybe you already know some human lady bugs including yourself.  They are needed in every community in organizations like schools and churchs.  They might not be missed until they are gone and there is no one to take their place.

Lady Bugs care about people.  They protect and provide for their friends, families, and communities and (may I add) for their countrys.  In WWII they had their ration books and other conservation practices, and,yes of course, Rosey the Riveter.  They are industrious bunch and they often are self-starters.

They are often very spiritual and are an essential part of God’s Garden.  They do not need fanfare and may not even want it; but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t give it to them.  It also doesn’t mean that they are aren’t thoughtful people and have the brainpower to back it up.  To be continued….