Children are like African violets. (A type of small very ticklish house plant which housewives of my mother’s generation raised.) They are very sensitive in terms of their response to the environment in which they are planted. Children were known to die in orphanages when they were physically taken care of but not emotionally taken care of. Yet some people give more attention to the African violets in their life than to their children.
As each African violet is individual in its needs for light and air and moisture so is each child individual in his or her needs for attention, love, and support. When this is neglected, the plant or child withers and dies inside if not outside like the plant. The payoff of proper care can be great in either case.
Perhaps one can afford to lose many African violets in this process but not even one child. Children can be resilient but still, can be greatly damaged and become of little use to themselves and furthermore to the society that child dwells in.
Moisture, light, and soil and the addition of fertiliser is needed for a violet to grow; but what is needed for a child to grow in the right direction? Love, support, attention, and unconditional love appear to be necessary for this to happen.
Caregivers can not neglect one child while caring for another, This has been shown to happen when a child has a seriously ill sibling. This child needs attention and care too especially if this child gets neglected while the ill child gets urgently needed care.
The sibling does not need to be seriously physically ill to take attention and care away from another sibling. Some children are more attractive to one or both of the parents than other children. How important is it for a parent to have an athlete or gymnast or beauty queen or a scholar over a wallflower, a geek, or any child who is not particularly gifted or attractive
Worse yet are parents who really shouldn’t have any children (P.S. I am not opting for abortion, but I am a champion of adoption in these cases). Sadly what welfare does sometimes does not necessarily encourage parents to be actively involved in bringing children up right.
Wealth is not necessarily the main factor in bringing children up right. The things that are needed to do this often can’t be bought. They often cost more time than money. First is unconditional love which occurs when a person often gives another person love no matter what he or she does or says.
Children need support, not just physical support, but emotional support. A child can do well at something, but this accomplishment might be ignored and/ or at least not supported emotionally by the family or guardian. The child can say to themselves, “Oh, what’s the use?” if the effort that he or she puts into something is unnoticed and they receive little or no help with it on top of that!
Prize winning entries at the county fair can go unnoticed and wining or losing a coveted position on a team or in a play can also be ignored. “You did what?, when said, demonstrates that at least part of a child’s life has gone unnoticed. Worse yet, a child can be hurt or sick and this goes unnoticed until the child is in serious jeopardy.
Psychological needs that go unmet can cause great harm to some children. Children that survive such circumstances can be very resilient but those who don’t are a drain on society and can be lost. Too often the people who make these decisions are incompetent as well. The judge in my family says that custody decisions in his court are given to the least competent to decide.
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Every time I think that the Little PEOPLE are getting ahead, I realise they aren’t. I was very happy with the recent election because I felt that the new administration was supporting the middle class that was no longer the middle class under the current, soon past administration.
What I have recently realised is that I have joined the lower class (once working class or even middle class in many situations). We are squeaking by on social security and disability payments (which have been borrowed from to pay other government expenses) and have to seek help like free food from The Master’s Hand locally. Also in this area, if you have farm income (that counts against you as it is considered income before farming expenses are taken out) in terms of getting any extra government help.
Most of us would contribute something to the economy if there was a way we could. Most of us would like to have a voice in the new administration. For example, most of Illinois voted for the new administration except for the heavily populated urban areas. But where is our voice? No one campaigned in our areas and we feel that no one has listened to our concerns. What do you think? Are there other areas of our country in the same shape?
Also who is the voice of the forgotten little people? On the network that supported the election of the new administration, we are not represented. They are again relying on experts who have no real life experience or it is so far in the remote past that they don’t remember it or so far removed from it, it doesn’t matter anymore.
Also, there is pressure on these experts, especially women, to conform to certain standards not representative of the men and/or do not reflect what ordinary people look like. It is nice for some of us to remain “young” and look youthful but is not the way most people look and it is easier to see the standards for men are less stringent than for women.
For example, most woman experts on this network look like they are ready to go to a cocktail party instead of a business occasion. Yes, the men are nicely and appropriately dressed but they don’t have to struggle as much as women do to appear appropriately presentable, youthful and beautiful.
When are the Little PEOPLE going to be represented? The overall wearing, wearing second-hand clothing, or in “high style” Wal-Mart, but often foreign made, clothing? We have a lot to say and we don’t have a lot we can do about our situations but suffer. Welfare often misses us and as our social security or retirement checks do not raise, but inflation and the cost of living does and as things cost more and more, we have to get by on less and less with little or no representation in or help from society or the government!
The Little PEOPLE do have something to say! We have learned something through experience. We do have “philosophical” discussions. We can see things others more fortunate and potentially more powerful don’t.
Certainly how Little PEOPLE experience life has something to say about the type of life we are promoting for all! Often as people do better and better economically, they tend to put people down who haven’t and consider their opinions useless and their motivations feckless! Also other people who have done well often think the same way and might make fun of those who don’t. How many Little People do you see in certain churches or certain social groups like the Elks? Nuff said.
As you can see I am taking a sabatical this fall. I have no classes to teach this fall which means it will be a squeeze financially but I will have more time to devote to writing for this website, more time to babysit grandchildren (which is a mixed blessing), more time to meditate in several different ways, and more time to pursue my own personal growth.
While I was teaching this summer (and taking an art class myself), I was feeling stressed out and at times it made me physically ill. Do you think that as a psychologist I should have known better than that? Maybe. But I just know from past experiences that it is a sign that I should take heed of and do something about.
It took time and money out of my pocket in order to teach even though I have been enjoying it and growing a lot doing it. Yes, I was paid but as a part-time instructor and only for what classes I taught each semester. This summer I made an hour round trip trip to town four days a week for two months spending the whole day there two days a week.
I will take two road trips this fall to see the evangelist Joyce Meyer and attend the homecoming celebration of my undergraduate college in honor of my class’s 50th anniversary. I will be doing this on a shoestring; but I am not going to miss these chances to do something I want to do which only comes along once in a blue moon.
I have already gotten one surprise phone call offering me some financial help for one of my upcoming seminars after it was decided that I was not going to teach this fall. I also have recently found some books that answer questions I have been asking, but did not get the answers for that I have been gobbling up.
Yesterday, I caught up on some of my sleep and decided to do nothing that I didn’t have to do. I missed one of my regular salesmen while I slept in the afternoon and I did not check on most of the things that I am checking on today and I did not turn my computer on.
I am growing. I intend to explore new and old things that I have not gotten around to doing recently.
Customer Service can make or break a business as it can make or break a customer’s day. I’ve recently made the point that I can be a grump. One of my frequently used sayings is, “Sometimes, my patience, is tried.”
Sometimes I do not realize until too late that this is happening and I sometimes erupt embrassng myself. Like the time I shook my fist in the third trip through the drive through getting a prescription filled after surgery (which I mentioned in my blog last week) or when I said, s–t! in front of the grandchildren. It is hard to control yourself sometimes when you have reached your limit.
Today , I assigned myself the job of contacting the customer service departments of three businesses and like the rural salesman seeking a tire jack from a “grouchy” farmer in my favorite joke who says, “You can keep your God Damn jack!” when the farmer opens his door., I was ready to explode and had even had several conversations with the various businesses in my head before calling them.
After a couple of frustrating attempts to reach the various customer service departments, I made my connections and had a pleasant conversation with all three and resolved my issues satisfactorily. I felt so good that I sat down to write this post afterwards. Even though my first assumptions were that the conversations would turn out badly, I didn’t let that color my initial conversations with them. The more cheerful I was the more cheerful they were. So spread a little joy this season or anytime. “Please” and “Thank you don’t hurt” and don’t be rude if you can help it.
A week ago at the phramacy drive though, I was in a nasty mood; but when I tried to resolve the issue over the phone talking to different pharamacies, I changed my tone of voice and let my mad fit go. Sometimes things are not fair; but you don’t have to let them get to you and ruin your day as well as someone else’s day (whose fault, it might not have been initially). Some businesses’s customer service departments are so nice that I think I could call them up to help myself feel better when I am down.
This leads to the final thing I want to say and that is the list of businesses, local, online, or national, that I recommend usually depends on how they treat me when I contact them. I hope these businesses would also recommend me as a customer because of how I treat them.
Do you know when you give things away? Do you give things away without knowing that you do. Maybe you don’t just give things away for free but maybe you don’t sell them for what they are worth. Are you aware of what you are worth? Do you have something of value to sell? Can you actually afford to give this stuff away?
If you are aware of how you give things away, then you can get in control of what and how you give things away and you can do so when you can actually afford to do so. Have you heard the story of the little red hen who grew the wheat, made the bread, and then gave it away, but did not keep any for herself so died of starvation and could no longer provide the bread for others. Of course, the little red hen even liked to grow the wheat and make the bread; but she could not keep doing this when she did not get anything in return and ran out of resources to do it.
One way that you give things away is by offering free samples; but you need to leave your audience wanting more. This is when you offer to sell them more by getting something from them. You have to sell it for more than the cost of the ingredients because your training and experience, your knowledge, your time and energy are worth more. In order to develop new products, to offer quality services, to make improvements in your existing product, and thrive, you must price your product appropriately.
Everybody does not know everything and there is a good chance that you know something about something that is not common knowledge and could be worth an appropriate amount of money to other people who need this knowledge.
Leading people on is a scam. Here’s one you didn’t think about awhile back. How many worthless college degrees are there out there? How much in student loans is owed and can’t be paid off in this economy. I bet you know at least one person like that. I know several.
Colleges and their financial aid offices are leading people on. These days a college degree doesn’t guarantee you a good job anymore, perhaps not even a job. Accurate numbers are not being kept of people with college degrees who have given up looking for a job. Also how many people are working only part-time or even at minimum wage service jobs? Add to this the number of people who are working at jobs where a college degree is not needed and also in an area that they did not complete their studies in. Last but not least how many people are stay-at-home moms or dads because even with their college degrees they can’t find a job that pays enough so they can afford a babysitter?
Leading people on is a scam in which promises are not kept. College students are encouraged to acquire more debt than they can pay. Is this a problem with truth in advertising? We have had that problem in the housing industry with people buying more house than they can afford. It is not bad enough that these college graduates can often only get a job paying a subsistence wage with which they have trouble making ends meet. Then they have to pay off an exorbitant amount of college debt as well. Is there such a thing as ethics to consider in loaning money to someone who will not be able to pay it back and in offering educations that won’t pay any return on the investment?
Becoming more mindful has led me to realize that the amount of money that something costs and whether it seems like too much or a real steal depends on what it is, who you are, and where you are. I first began to think about this when I started watching HGTV and realized that what was considered a reasonable price for a house in one part of the country or the world was not reasonable in another part. Decent-sized homes could be bought for $200,000 or less in some places, for $500,000 or less in others, and for over a million dollars in yet other places. The same was true of rent which ranged from under $1000 to several thousand dollars a month. The bigger prices were found not just in resort communities but also in suburban areas.
I am currently on a fixed income and am very money conscious. I found that what I considered to be a good price for something depended on what category it fell in. I found that I was the cheapest about clothes, hitting clearance racks and garage sales and usually spending under a few dollars usually no more than five or ten bucks; but I found that I would spend that much on eating out and on a very special occasion, I might double that. It all dealt with what I allowed myself to spend even actually keeping a running total in my head. Why is it more acceptable to spend more on laundry detergent than than on many grocery items?
You might not be on as tight a budget as I am and you may have to spend more to keep up appearances than I do. Even the higher house prices don’t shock you and you may have already invested that much in a place to live. What determines what seems reasonable to pay for one type of thing and not another? Yes, this can be a matter of personal taste and the desire for quality in something you purchase. But it does seem at least for me that I am willing to spend more on somethings than others. How did I get that way? Is it price fixing like the cost of a carton of pop? Is it brain washing? Is it due to propaganda? What one person considers acceptable to pay for something may not be acceptable to another person. How much of this is due to what is the usual price for something in a certain area and how much of this is due to what its really worth. Or are things not intrinsically worth anything, except what you can get people to pay for them?