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Children Are Our Most Precious Resource! Why Do We Waste Them?

Why do we neglect the development of our children?  Why do we do things to children starting as early as conception that will cause harm to them and why do we neglect children in ways that will lead to problems later on.  Then later on in their lives why do we wonder what happened to our children that caused them so much irreparable harm in their development?  After a teenager has killed 10 people in a high school shooting it is too late to do something about it.  Long-term neglect is impossible to completely reverse.

Babies need love, support, and respect.  This is best done before birth.  Do we teach future parents that conceiving a child is a tremendous responsibility?  Most of the time, “no”.  It can be perceived as a burden and a failure of planning and contraception usually after the fact.  The parents themselves could have been perceived as burdens and responsibilities at their conceptions.

Once you have accidentally unplugged the refrigerator and the food is all spoiled and has to be thrown out; you can’t change what happened.  The same is true with a teenage school shooter.  Not only have the children who have survived been left, wounded, and/or permanently scarred, but also what can we do about it now.  We know how much of a problem post-traumatic syndrome is with soldiers who have seen and done horrible things on the battlefield.

Respect for life has to be taught early not only by the way the child is treated him or herself but also by what is taught in words and actions by the caregiver.  Such teaching can never be started too early; but who wants to do this?  Who has been taught themselves how to do this or has received this type of care and attention as children themselves?

By the time children reach school, it can be too late.  Other students can easily identify these type of problem children.  If you don’t think so, ask a first grader who are the problem children in their class if they are not one of them.  Time invested in providing this type of support and instruction early on is not wasted.  There are many teachable moments.  Children often bring up the subject themselves.  The learning process should be individualized if possible.  No two children are alike.  Also, the child involved may not be very similar to the adult doing the teaching.

“Let me see here,”

When I read a book to a toddler or toddlers, I individualize my approach and pay attention to the attention spans of the children involved.  A child is not an adult and should not be expected to act like one initially.  Also, there might be conflict over who gets to do what; and one of the first things an adult might teach a toddler is how to take turns and share.  Finally don’t be surprised if you don’t finish the book or the child gets up and leaves before the book is finished.  Over time you can establish limits and rules but not so much so that it makes the activity a drag.

“Go away kid you bother me” is not the way a kid should be brought up.  This is one reason why both parents and other relatives should be involved with the children in their family.  Children are not a thing that belongs to the parent but a responsibility to society that parents take on when they consider conceiving a child.

It is problematic when adults consider how to solve these problems from an adult point of view.  Children are not adults and children cannot be expected to behave and think like adults especially when they are young or have not been taught or the things that adults have.  For example, infants like to pee or poop into a fresh diaper after the removal of one that they have already used this way.  It can be exasperating and frustrating to the adult who does not know this.

When Is Reassurance Necessary?

No, wonder the rich in the Victorian era had nurseries and nannies for their children and only saw them when they were well-fed, had been cleaned up, and were in nice clothes after they had had a nap.  Mothers then often employed wet nurses who had babies of their own to feed their babies so they didn’t have to breastfeed them themselves.

If you don’t start something right, how can you expect something to end right.

 

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