Happy Child, Happy World! The Happy Dance

Kids come into the world happy. That's their default setting, and the kindest thing we can do is not step on it. Poking at a child, teasing just to watch them squirm or get flustered, isn't the harmless fun some adults pretend it is. One toddler I know had a phrase for it: "Not nice!" She was right.

Shutting children out of certain spaces purely to keep particular adults comfortable falls into that same category. Yes, kids make noise. They spill things. They track chaos across a clean room. That's the admission price for the energy they bring, and most of the time it's a bargain.

Moods travel from person to person whether we want them to or not, and sour ones travel just as fast as cheerful ones. We all know someone who drags the temperature of a room down the moment they walk in. We rarely ban those people from celebrations, though they dampen everything they touch. So when you're deciding whether to include children at a gathering, don't let one grumpy adult's preference be the reason you leave the kids at home.

The spontaneity children carry tends to survive right up until they bump into grownups who have no patience for it. Those are often the same people pushing to keep children out of adult spaces. If the place genuinely holds nothing fun for a kid, fine, I'm with them on that.

But some occasions are built for shared joy, and weddings are near the top of that list. I've watched children at weddings catch the mood of the day and run with it, and it turns the whole thing into a real family event. Their good spirits spread (the non-alcoholic kind). Kids want to dance, though don't expect a waltz. You're more likely to get hip hop or something closer to breakdancing.

Some of the liveliest receptions I've been to had children in the room. I'm not blind to the downsides. A baby who'd rather be somewhere quiet will let the entire ceremony know about it, and children run out of steam before adults do, turning cranky well ahead of last call. That's just how people work at every age. Handled right, children are the seasoning in a family celebration, and everyone ends up better for it.

Adults who can't stand having children nearby tend to be no fun to begin with, and their mood ruins things for the kids too. Happiness is an inside job. When you hinge your good time on controlling everything happening around you, you usually make yourself miserable and everyone else along with you. The song had it right: let it be.

Having children present might mean the adults drink a little less and feel their "good time" is cramped, but the kids are proof you don't need a glass in your hand to enjoy yourself. I'm no teetotaler. I'll have a drink now and then when I'm not driving, and there's alcohol in the house for when I want it, which isn't often. The rule I keep is simple: I don't drink and drive, and I don't drink while I'm watching children. If you're over twenty-one, the choice is yours; just make the right one for the situation. And no, not everyone enjoys having kids around all the time, which is its own fair point.