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If Man Finds A Woman Sexually Attractive, Does He Think That The Woman Automatically Finds Him Sexually Attractive?

(ROUGH DRAFT)

If A woman’s appearance or behavior turns a man on, does he automatically think he turns her on too and will cooperate?  Ouch, this is not always true.  There were several different times in my life when a man was turned on to me (and I wasn’t turned on by him) and he acted as if I was or ought to be turned on to him.  If he followed through and made advances towards me which were unwanted, it at least left me terribly confused, embarrassed and at a loss to know how to get myself out of the situation gracefully.

Sexual harassment? before I knew there was such a thing.  These situations always left me embarrassed and confused and feeling that I had gotten too far into a situation that I never intended to start, encourage, or didn’t know how to get out of safely.  I was from the era when it was always the woman’s fault if it got out of hand.  Yet, I as a woman didn’t know how I got into it and/or how to get out of it.Does the Bible facilitate these situations?  How if a man got into one of these situations he was seduced.  I am not saying that women haven’t done this; but this not true of all women maybe not even most women.  But if a sexual relationship is seen as a path to security? or as payment for a date?  what else could a man think?  Sex should be a case of mutual attraction and commitment.  Also if a man is supposed to have some experience and a woman has little or none.  What else could happen?

It is like playing with fire.  If a little confusion and misconception on the woman’s part is required to get her cooperation even if it is misleading, can it be worth the price?  Since the woman might feel that it would be considered her fault anyway as she should have none better or why would she have gone along with it.  The lack of adequate sex education on both the woman’s and the man’s part can lead to the abdication of responsibility and misappropriation of a woman’s sexual desires.

There were several different times in my life when a man was turned on to me (and I wasn’t turned on by him) and he acted as if I was or ought to be turned on to him.  If he followed through and made advances towards me which were unwanted, it at least left me terribly confused, embarrassed and at a loss to know how to get myself out of the situation gracefully.

But if a sexual relationship is seen as a path to security? or as payment for a date?  what else could a man think?  Sex should be a case of mutual attraction and commitment.  Also if a man is supposed to have some experience and a woman has little or none? what else could happen?

Who were these men in my life?  For example, my therapist who at one of our first therapy sessions told me he found me sexually attractive and wondered why I didn’t appreciate it.  This therapist at a follow-up visit after my therapy had finished said, “come here lie down (on the floor) and let me touch you.”

What about the pediatrician who liked to examine my babies while I held them spread out on my lap (now they are called lap dances)?

Then there was the psychiatrist with whom I worked as a Psychology Student one summer just after I got out of college liked to show me Play Boy center foldouts in order to see my reactions to them and he liked to have me do the Mental Status examination while he did the physical examination on our all male patients (who were at least partially disrobed at the time).

Finally there was the senior psychologist who put his hand on my thigh while driving me home from a visit to visit another clinic.  Just because I was recently divorced didn’t mean I was horny or interested in an older married man (to whom I did not feel attracted to anyway).  He had a reputation for this and couldn’t keep a secretary because of this.  Had I in some way asked for this?

Yikes!  If I had ever thought about being sexually attractive, this could have made me not want to be.  How uncomfortable does that make a woman feel when she would really like to feel sexually attractive when she finds a man to whom she feels appropriately attracted?  This is like the thief who says why do they put the expensive diamond jewelry in the jewelry store window if they don’t want it stolen?

Yes, there are women who do seduce men for their own reasons which do not involve true love and appreciation; but there are also men who do the same.

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