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If I am One Hundred Percent So Are You

Not So Much to Be Loved as to Love

Not So Much to Be Loved as to Love (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How do you picture other people in your life?  Are they 100%?  If you are 100% then more then likely they are 100% too.

I was looking for a way to say that all people are equal in the Supreme Being‘s eyes and if we love ourselves, we love others too.  In find it difficult to say I love you to everybody; but I found that I could say, “You are 100%.”

My next step will be to say, “You are worthy of love.”  What motivates you in your behavior is often the fact that you don’t feel loved and you feel that you have to hurt others in retaliation for this.

What horrible things we do because we do not really love ourselves.  Think of all the not so  random shootings and vehicular violence that occurs.  We all want to be loved and accepted.

Missing the love and respect of just one parent can damage a person irrevocably and result in retalitory violence against his or her spouse and children and against the world in general.  How many people have grown up with angry parents who take their anger out on their children?

How can a parent give a child the necessary unconditional love when they did not get it themselves?  How much of a child’s behavior is motivated by a desire to be loved and accepted?  Gang membership is often used as a way to do this.

So let’s make a start and just say in our heads to everyone we meet, “You are 100%.”

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Rules To Become A Better Person

English: Graphic on forgiveness

English: Graphic on forgiveness (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

What rules do I have for being a better person?  I answered this question in a post of another website.  Some are easily remembered and others I often am only reminded of when I do not follow them.

Rules To Become A Better Person:

Don’t pass judgments on others.  This means too that I will keep a rein on any criticizing.  As the Bible says, “Let him who is without sin, cast the first stone.”

To forgive all wrongs that have been done to me and in doing so practice extreme forgiveness.  Not to hold a grudge.  Not to carry resentments against others.  Going even further this means forgiving every person whose behavior I have let effect negatively me in some way even going so far as to forgive radical terrorists.

Ask that what happens be not just for my own good but also for the good of others.

To work on keeping the word, “should”, out of my vocabulary.  That is more for my own good than the good of others.

Keeping a good attitude towards life.  Expecting the best instead of the worst.

To keep the amount of worrying that I do down to a minimum.  If I must think about potential problem, let it be in order to plan ahead.

To constantly wish for the best for others (and for myself and my loved ones).

To remember humans are not God’s only creations and to treat those in the animal, plant, and also the mineral kingdom like I would like to be treated.

To rejoice in the blessings that others receive and to be happy for them.

To put the best construction on everything.  That is to not always assign evil motives to others’ actions.

Not to let fear or anger take over my life and determine what I do and say.  Going even further, to not let fear paralyze me or anger turn into murderous rage.

To routinely meditate and practice having a quiet, peaceful mind.

Along with meditation, to keep an open mind and to never stop learning.  You will never know what you might discover.  Don’t limit yourself to studying under one teacher or mastering one spiritual discipline.

To love others as I love myself.  To bless all who I come in contact with and all who inhabit this place with me.

To love myself first and foremost and if I love myself, I will follow these rules.

To respect myself.  In order to do this, I need to act, think, and be that which I inwardly and spiritually need to be.

To practice self-discipline in everything I do since I am the only one responsible for my life and what I accomplish.

In other words, if I were God, what would I like for me to be?  With God, all things are possible; alone, I am only an imperfect being.

I have not been extremely pithy in doing this; but I will continue to think about this and revise my list as necessary.  I am not being God, I am just being what God wants me to be and it is the best thing for me.  Stay with me on my journey to self-realization and see if I can help you with yours.

Additions:

To love, respect, and honor children and (don’t forget) adolescents as well.

Above all, don’t  deliberately lie whether by omission or commission especially to yourself, your significant other, and your children when older and your parents when younger.

To not categorize people, whether by age, sexuality, cultural background, financial status,  political or religious beliefs or by the judgments of others.  I made it a point in school to not absolutely accept the judgments of teachers by what other people said.  I often found somebody’s difficult professor was a good one for me.  Also when I do put people in categories, I often am drawn into a situation where I have intimate contact with someone I categorized negatively.

Be discriminating when necessary, but not judgmental.

To consider that we all are equally loved and accepted in the eyes of God and we all have equal potential to be able to live up to what God expects of us.

 

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Do You Need A Belief In God?

One Life, One Death

One Life, One Death (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Can you cope with life? Can you understand why things happen in life?  Can you feel that your life is complete? without a belief in God.  Can science and/or philosophy explain everything for you?  Are you able  to make it through life and face the apparent oblivion of death without having the reassuring belief of life after death.? Are you content with what you can attain in this life without having another life to look forward to?

Is it just because you are weak that you can’t face reality without the solace of religion?  Are you delusional or indulging in magical thinking if you believe in miracles like being raised from the dead?  Is that all there is and religious people are just not facing up to reality.  Should people take what they can get and live one day at a time enjoying what they have now and not what they might get in a heavenly future?

Believe it or not?  Science may validate religious concepts such as prayer, Heaven, or the devil.  Actually it has already started.  Look up the book, “Measuring the Immeasureable”, a collection of scientific studies which were done in order to verify if such things do work or do not work.  (Published 2008, Sounds True publishers.)

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The Jigsaw Puzzle of Life

Unfinished jigsaw puzzle screenshot - butterfl...

Unfinished jigsaw puzzle screenshot - butterfly on flowers (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

You are part of the jigsaw puzzle of life.  Yes, you are only one piece, but the picture won’t be finished until your piece is in it’s place.  Do you know about that satisfying feeling that one gets when he or she completes a giant, complex picture puzzle?  Remember how hard it is to see any of the completed picture in any one piece or even in a handful of pieces.  If you didn’t have the picture on the box to help you, how would you know where to start or what piece to put with what?

We all need to help each other in order to get a complete picture as we each have a necessary part of the whole.   Our part will be missed if it isn’t there.  No wonder we don’t understand what is going on in the world when we try to figure it all out by ourselves.  We are all part of the whole that we can’t see by ourselves.

Every interaction with someone else helps us to see more of the picture that we can’t see when we are alone.  Another analogue might be that of having to use certain ingredients in certain amounts and forms to create a magnificent dish.  Each ingredient by itself might be unremarkable, even unpalatable.  Currently there is a big following of people who like bacon in many different ways even candied or covered in chocolate which sound like they might be not very good together, but they are tasty and people flock to restaurants or stands where they are created and sold.

You may not realize how important you are in the fabric of life.  If you did not exist or had been born somewhere else to someone else, important things might not have happened and the world would be changed maybe not in a good way.

If you believe God created you, wouldn’t he have had something in mind for you to do or be?  Maybe it was even required that you not know what this plan was for it to work.

Remember you are not the most worthless person in the world.  No one can be.  It is just as presumptuous to think that as it is to think that you are the most important person in the world that has ever lived.  Still we are all part of the plan and not one  of us is unnecessary.

Remember that each one of us is precious and deserves to be taken good care of.  Remember the story in the Bible of the shepherd and his sheep, how he will leave his flock to fetch the one that has gone astray.

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Taking Responsibility

With great spending power comes great responsi...
With great spending power comes great responsibility (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

With power, there is responsibility,  It can go to your head.  This sometimes happened to Kings in the Old Testament.  They thought that they could do anything that they wanted to do and had the power to carry it out. For example, there was the King who sent the husband of a woman he coveted into battle in a position where he was very vulnerable expecting that he would killed and leave the way clear for the King to have this man’s wife.  He abused his power.     They did not obey the law, they made the laws instead.  To whom much is given, much is expected.

On the other hand, there are people who didn’t expect to be in power, but when it happened, they rose to the occasion.  Everyone needs a little bit of humility, even the greatest of persons.  One endearing quality of  many saintly persons is that they are humble.  Even Jesus did not strive to be a king on earth.

If you acquire a position of responsibility on earth and/or access to personal wealth, don’t let it go to your head.  Don’t do things just because now you have the opportunity to do them and/or want to show others that you can (and they can’t).  Power and wealth are responsibilities and because you can do more, more is expected of you.

 

 

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What Would You Do?

What would you do if every interaction was recorded and available to be replayed and examined by you at a later date.  What would you do if you knew you were going to be shown the consequences of all of your behavior to be judged by you or someone else?  What would you do if the people that came into your life each day were not just ordinary people, but were sent to test you?  What would you do if that the interactions that you were involved in each day were not as inconsequential as you believed them to be?  What if somebody was keeping score or if the people that are sent into your life were sent there for a purpose?  What would that purpose be?

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Death and Children

Stained glass windows in the Mausoleum of the ...

Stained glass windows in the Mausoleum of the Roman Catholic Cathedral of Our Lady of the Angels, Los Angeles, California; originally created in the 1920s for Saint Vibiana Cathedral, Los Angeles Jesus and the children, detail: Child (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Be very careful dealing with death and children.  From many hours of play and drawing therapy, I have found that children often get some strange ideas about bad things that they  have had to face that they have not faced before as very often their frame of reference is different from adults.

For example, when talking about a family member who had died, a child thought that at the funeral, they would see a body without a head.  He or she thought that since the soul had departed, the head would be missing.

Children often do not get the whole picture and/or do not think that death is permanent.  They often only get part of what they are told or they may interrupt it differently than an adult would.

Drawings by children who have faced the death of someone they know or who are sick or injured and are facing their own death often allow the therapist to determine what is going on in the child’s mind.  Drawings by terminally ill children often show that they are aware of their own coming passing.  Those with a spiritual bent often are reassured when a child demonstrates knowledge of an afterlife or heaven and possibly  of angels, God, Jesus, or a loved person or animal that has passed on before them.

It is best when helping these children that you determine what questions they have before giving them answers they are not yet ready for or wouldn’t understand or don’t need.  It is best to fit explanations to the child’s point of view, not the adult’s.

 

 

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Jack of all Trades

Jack of all trades, master of none?  If you could tell someone what was important to learn in life?  What would you tell them?  Many men are expected to be mechanics and handymen around the house.  Many women are expected to be able to cook, clean, and do the laundry.  With the changing of sex roles, both may soon need to know how to do both types of skills, housewifery,

Skills Like This

Skills Like This (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

and car and house repair. It has now come to the point with the necessity for two income households that both men and women should be able to hold a job.  Don’t forget driving, being able to use a computer, knowing how to use a mobile phone and other electronic devices as necessary skills in this present time..  Most everyone would say parenting is one of the most important skills to learn.  What about relationship skills, how to get along with others, how to communicate well with others, and how to form social relationships such as friendships, and sexual and romantic relationships.  Last, but not least, what also seems important to discover  is what is our relationship to the world, other people, and God (whatever form that takes for you).

What things are taught in schools, what things do parents attempt to teach their children, what things are taught in churches or other religious settings, and what things are people just expected to learn by living life.  Too often, we just let the most important things that we need to know in life go.  Who or what teaches us about these things, strangers on the street, on the web, or on TV?   Often we do not think about things like values and let someone or something else by default teach either us or our children what our values, if any, should be.  Let’s go further what is our purpose in life?  Why are we here? Agnostic, Atheist, Muslim, Christian, Hindu  or Jew , all have answers to this question.  Do you?

 

 

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Jealousy, Envy

An emoticon with a smile. For more emoticons i...

Can feelings make us miserable?  Yes, they can.  When you focus on what you do not have that others have, most often it makes us feel bad.  It is sometimes hard for us to be happy for others when they have something that we would like to have ourselves.  Joy! does not have to be selfish.  We can appreciate what others have gotten or accomplished when we have a similar goal or goals ourselves.  From that point of view, we can be happy for others.  When I was first trying to get pregnant, my much younger cousin succeeded before I did.  I had a choice:  be happy for her or rain on her parade.  There were two different points of view that I could have had.  I could have been jealous (and therefore miserable) and focused on my lack of a child or I could join with her with her feelings of anticipation of new life.  It turned out that I was just a little bit pregnant when my mother told me about my cousin; but I didn’t know it then.

To this day, I continue to work on myself and the negative feelings about others accomplishments that I have.  My feelings can change from sad to happy by making this switch.  It is often not easy to do but it changes my outlook on life.  It is just like realizing that being angry after the person or thing that has hurt you is out of your life is futile.  We are brothers and sisters in God‘s eyes at least and when one of us succeeds, we should be happy for him or her.  It helps us more than it helps them.

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Generating Fear and Anger

Can't Get You Out of My Thoughts

Can't Get You Out of My Thoughts (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you resent people for what you think they have done to you in the past?  Are you concerned about things over which you have no control in the future or in the present moment?  Do you continually have such thoughts and they make you anxious and get you upset?  Did you ever think about how easily you can be controlled  because of these thoughts?   You may be calmly sitting in your recliner watching TV when something is mentioned that you are concerned about but is not happening to you at the present moment.  Are your feelings aroused?  These are usually not positive thoughts.  They can prevent you from enjoying life’s present moments and keep you from being in the here and now.  What might have been a pleasant break from everyday responsibilities turns into an unpleasant reaction to hidden fears and concerns that are associated with the content of the TV program you are watching.  The news often does not calm you and fill you with gratitude for the things life has given you.  The current presidential campaigns have taken on a negative slant and they must think that it works or why do they this?   Why do people think that the best way to motivate people is by hate and fear?  Psychological studies involving behavior modification find that rewards do a better job of changing behavior especially when they are associated with a desired positive behavior.  Unwanted behavior when eliminated must have the behaviors that are wanted already in place to take their place.

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