As you can see I am taking a sabatical this fall. I have no classes to teach this fall which means it will be a squeeze financially but I will have more time to devote to writing for this website, more time to babysit grandchildren (which is a mixed blessing), more time to meditate in several different ways, and more time to pursue my own personal growth.
While I was teaching this summer (and taking an art class myself), I was feeling stressed out and at times it made me physically ill. Do you think that as a psychologist I should have known better than that? Maybe. But I just know from past experiences that it is a sign that I should take heed of and do something about.
It took time and money out of my pocket in order to teach even though I have been enjoying it and growing a lot doing it. Yes, I was paid but as a part-time instructor and only for what classes I taught each semester. This summer I made an hour round trip trip to town four days a week for two months spending the whole day there two days a week.
I will take two road trips this fall to see the evangelist Joyce Meyer and attend the homecoming celebration of my undergraduate college in honor of my class’s 50th anniversary. I will be doing this on a shoestring; but I am not going to miss these chances to do something I want to do which only comes along once in a blue moon.
I have already gotten one surprise phone call offering me some financial help for one of my upcoming seminars after it was decided that I was not going to teach this fall. I also have recently found some books that answer questions I have been asking, but did not get the answers for that I have been gobbling up.
Yesterday, I caught up on some of my sleep and decided to do nothing that I didn’t have to do. I missed one of my regular salesmen while I slept in the afternoon and I did not check on most of the things that I am checking on today and I did not turn my computer on.
I am growing. I intend to explore new and old things that I have not gotten around to doing recently.
The epitome of personal achievement in Humanistic Psychology is the self-actualizing person who only reaches that point after overcoming the hurdles of satisfying basic needs: physical, security, social, and self-esteem ones.
It is not the person you might expect him, or is it her, to be? ( Don’t we generally think of ladybugs as female?) Fame and wealth aren’t necessarily the highest goals and meeting the needs for these self-aggrandizing or often other-exploiting objectives often can leave a bitter taste in one’s mouth and a sense of “Is that all there is?”
Then what is a self-actualized person?
Maslow’s characteristics of self-actualized people:
1) Self-actualized people have realistic perceptions of themselves, others and the world around them.
2) Self-actualized individuals are concerned with solving problems outside of themselves, including helping others and finding solutions to problems in the external world. These people are often motivated by a sense of personal responsibility and ethics.
3) Self-actualized people are spontaneous in their internal thoughts and outward behavior. While they can conform to rules and social expectations, they also tend to be open and unconventional.
4) Another characteristic of self-actualized people is the need for independence and privacy. While they enjoy the company of others, these individuals need time to focus on developing their own individual potential.
Now what has a ladybug got to do with this? This description of a ladybug that was brought to my attention by one of my honorary “sisters” (as I only have brothers) fits most of the description of a self-actualized person quite well. To be continued…
A ladybug in the essay is a very realistic person who knows where she stands, what she can contribute, and what those around her need.
A ladybug has a sense of what is right and wrong and endeavors to follow this self-created code no matter what others think or try to tell her.
After achieving the ability to do what others consider to be correct and being able to conform to the desires of the world, the ladybug develops a sense of individuality and what makes her “tick” and begins frequently marches to the sound of her own drummer inside.
Yes, a lady bug has her own drummer and a need to follow her own beat. The determining of which is her own private goal and often involves some inward searching which does not always require the presence of others.
Earlier a lady bug was described in “The Self-actualized Lady Bug”as a necessary part of the garden of creation and often overlooked in the scheme of things but as very necessary for the maintenance and growth and health of the plants there in.
She contributes to the welfare and well being of others and can be very industrious even considered insignificant until she is no longer there to do the work. Sometimes she stands out by her choice of bright wrappings which may be even considered frivolous by others.
She is self-motivating and concerned with the needs of others. She also knows the “right” things to do and is motivated to do them.
Could there be Gentleman Bugs? Of course!
Just thinking…That can get you in trouble around here. (Want to get this up in rough draft form before the internet gets too busy discussing this issue.) How many people in Ferguson, Los Angles, and Chicago etc. are hurting fellow African Americans? Looting each others’ businesses, destroying each others property, and making it impossible for fellow African American’s who have done no wrong to live peaceful law abiding lives. Why are we hurting each other instead of arresting and prosecuting the law breakers who promote lawlessness in their own or others’ communities? How come has it become impossible for fellow African Americans and also the Caucasian and Hispanic residents of these riot torn communities to live peaceful lives and carry out normal business and to be able to safely travel in these communities?
I was a student in Madison WI at the University of Wisconsin during the Vietnam war riots after the math research building was blown up by protestors and one graduate student killed (murdered?) in the blast who was peacefully studying in the building. It was amazing that no others were killed or hurt in the blast because there was damage around the bomb site for blocks. The most noticeable damage were the shattered windows in my own psychology building blocks away and in the University Hospital complex where people came from all over to receive state of the art medical care.
I (silly me!) tried to carry on normal business going to class and carrying on my research. Certain times of day it was not safe to be on campus. My stomach was tied in knots. Certain students and professors made it clear that they enjoyed not participating in normal campus business like teaching, attending classes, etc. and rioting instead. For them, it was a big party. I remember barrels of trash set on fire in the intersections at night and young national guardsmen so scared that they shook when they gave you orders. Don’t worry I knew that they didn’t know if I was friend or foe.
To them I was just another student and potential rioter or bomb thrower. What had I done to deserve this. Nothing. I was just an innocent bystander. What about the law abiding people of Ferguson who are losing their businesses and directing from that their jobs and sources of income. Why can they no longer go peacefully about their business?
Also I have a husband who was directly involved in quelling the rots in Joliet IL at that time because he was in the national guard. He won’t talk about it. Talk about post-traumatic stress here in our own country.
I feel there is a strong politically correct movement that is preventing us from caring about each other and teaching any kind of morality. Why is this movement hurting innocent bystanders and keeping the rioting in some cases from their own doorsteps?
Just thinking…. Government is supposed to help people not hurt them. That is why we have it. There are small local movements for paying it forward and helping each other with nothing expected in return. Where is our voice in government and in local problems? Why are we the ones who ultimately get hurt by this?
This may get me in trouble! What about the coming of the Antichrist? Why have we not heard this speculated about in the media in these times?
P.S. I can’t get any related articles from the web about the Antichrist?!
Promote your own agenda. Don’t depend on somebody else to do it for you. Why is it always considered more acceptable when somebody else does something for you than if you do it for yourself? Is it because we don’t want to be seen as selfish or greedy. That leaves a lot of “cross” people out there. People who don’t get their needs met. There is also another unhappy group out there; those who are always meeting other peoples’ needs, not their own.
Meeting your own needs when you can means you don’t neglect yourself meeting other peoples’ needs and you don’t suffer from resentment because of this. Codependency is sometimes used as the name for this. This is often found in couples where one member is an alcoholic and the other one enables him or her.
I have my own truth detector, my dreams. In my dreams I am often doing what I either don’t do or try not to do in real life. My first comment in the morning when I wake up from a dream is, “Who me?” My competitivness, assertiveness, and anger come out in a big way and I am fighting the battle the whole night. No, I don’t always win in these dreams.
I am getting tired of working all day and dreaming all night. If this is the end of the world, I am trying to get it all done. Just when you think you have got yourself together, you don’t and your dreams tell you this. If I am not depressed when I go to sleep, I might be when I wake up.
Just learning that I can’t neglect my feelings and become a “goody goody two shoes” all the time. I guess that is why they call interpreting your dreams, “dream work.”
Is your thinking sometimes counterproductive? Do you think the same old thing over and over and it doesn’t do a thing for you or your situation? Do your thoughts often block your creativity and productivity? How often do you think to yourself, “I can’t so why even try?” It always keeps you from doing anything about it.
Counterproductive thinking often keeps one from thinking out of the box which is sometimes necessary to think of a solution. Creativity is what it is all about. Instead of thinking of one solution (even if tried and true) for a problem, think of many even if they don’t all work out then you have “exercised” your creativity. I think the word is rigid for those who are stimmied when their planned for or go-to solution doesn’t work.
Some people have an incredibly difficult time changing gears when the first solution doesn’t work. I always say, “If not plan A, then plan B. If not plan B, then plan C and so on.” The world is not designed so that “one size” fits all situations. The brain continues to form new connections as long as you continue to use it. Grow with me Come share the excitement of a new ay of thinking, of possibility thinking.
Weddings are occasions when inevitably this type of problem occurs. There seems to be at least one snafu. The wrong wedding flowers arrive, the photographs don’t turn out, etc. You can grin and bear it or try another way. This ensures a happy occasion. The guests might even think that you planned it that way.
Children are fearfully and wonderfully made. You can always learn something new. As you might know, I am teaching a child psychology class this summer. What I am reading is reinforcing what I already knew. Children are busy little beavers from birth and they come equipped with amazing hardware which enables them to perceive and understand their environment.
Children are fearfully and wonderfully made. They are not just passive receptacles of stimuli. They are programed to take it in in a certain way and then use it to form an amazing 3-D, multi-sensory model. It forms their conception of what the world is like. From this, they proceed to make assumptions about how things are and they use these assumptions to draw conclusions about what will happen in their environment. This will lead to developing concepts like depth perception and object permanence.
Most of us have trouble controlling our own lives so why do we think we can do a good job of controlling someone else’s life, especially that of someone we really don’t know. It seems that our media encourages this and hour upon hour of television news is spent speculating about people who are in the public spotlight and garnering opinions about them, who they are, what to do about them, and why they did what they did. They survey dozens of “experts” and whether these experts know what they are talking about is often not very clear.
Usually this speculating starts before the facts about the situation (if we ever really get them) are all in and often the initial information from which people are drawing conclusions is sketchy, at least a little inaccurate, and sometimes just plain wrong. This jumping to conclusions can lead to actions and reactions that are not just inappropriate, but downright harmful. Mob violence, for example, can be such a thing. There is something to be said for delays in reporting some of the news until all the facts are in and for taking the time necessary to put together a full and unbiased report. Even then should people, consumers and “experts”, be called prematurely to offer ideas as to how they would describe the motives of possible “suspects” and as to what should be done in terms of punishment and in terms of changes in the law that should be made.
How can some of us who may have similar problems of our own that we can’t or won’t solve and/or who have little knowledge of the problem in general tell others with that problem what to do? In college, the sophomore who was taking introductory psychology always knew the most about the subject and was inclined to offer other college students who had not yet taken the class, friends, and family unsolicited advice and opinions about others’ behavior and psychological problems. “Don’t look at me; look at them,” the person seems to be saying and often following this with unsolicited and unsound advice. Control yourself, not others, unless you are officially responsible for them as a teacher, law enforcement officer, judge, or parent.