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seniors

Wake, Awake, For Night Is Flying

Wake,  Awake, For Night Is Flying.

The Meaning of Life (TV series)

We are definitely in a New Age.  More and more people have come up to me and asked me questions about the meaning of life. 

We have been stuck in a rut; but not anymore.  It is mostly older people who have asked these questions.  People have learned that to deal with life they have make changes in themselves, not others.  Some people have been caught napping.  They have been content with the way life was going for them and when it stopped working, they didn’t know where to go or what to do.

I am not a “home wrecker.´”  I only talk to those people who want to talk to me.  These people already have questions and they think that I might have the answers.  I do, but for me, not them; but if I can help I will.  When I give my ”advice”, it is “take it or leave it.”

Hamlet with Yorick's skull

Hamlet with Yorick’s skull (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I do believe in the meaningfulness of life.  There is a reason behind everything even if I don’t know it right now.  I believe in the worthiness of every human being.  Everyone has some valuable contribution to make.  We should recognize this and not just focus on the rich and famous.  These people often can do amazing things and yet, at the same time, they are very humble. 

This type of awakening can come during adolescence or young adulthood, middle age, or even at the end of life.  It depends on how much society supports such a search.  Often it requires letting go of attachments  to things people, values etc.  which were very important earlier in life.As a result of this awakening, we can change so much that we can hardly recognize ourselves.  “Who was that 30 year old woman who met her husband on a blind date after moving to a new town?

Change is a human condition.  Most people recognize the physical ones.  “Oh, did I look like that when I was in grade school?  “What will I look like in ten years?”  Some people are very afraid of change and base what they do on what they learned in the past.  Nothing remains the same; even in nature.  The cycle of birth and death is always a reality that we and other creatures have to face.  This is something that we can not effectively deny.

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Don’t Pay Attention To Labels

 

"Old age (?)" - Unknown Painter from...

“Old age (?)” – Unknown Painter from the Low Countries (16th century) (Photo credit: Tilemahos Efthimiadis)

Don’t pay attention to labels given you by virtue of age, sex, ethnic or cultural background.  Discern for yourself whether you fit them or not or even if you ought to consider them or not.  Labeling of seniors often can become a self -fulfilling prophecy for them.  They think, “I am over 65 so I ought to …..”  How often do they give up or let go when they reach a certain milestone.  For my girl friend’s father, it was when he reached fifty.  I heard him say that he was old when he became 50.  Now 50 is the new 30 and 70 is the new 50????

 

Las Vegas Night

Las Vegas Night (Photo credit: Photo Dean)

I don’t usually promote seeing any movies, but I am curious about LastVegas which is coming out with a lot of older, but good, actors in  it.  I believe its main theme is disproving the myths of old age promoted by society and offered to them by younger experts of their situations.  What a way to go!

 

We can transition (my word for dying) at anytime and we are lucky that it didn’t happen sooner and you know it will happen (in your case) later.  Your attitude determines your altitude.  Maybe you have been too busy to think about life and your position in it what with working and often raising a family.  You are not your career, your husband or wife, or glowing reflections of your children’s achievements.  You are you and determine to a large part who you are, what you like or need to do, and what you believe in.

deathisatransition

Stereotypes abound!  Don’t be one of them.  Of course, don’t ignore reality when it hits you in the face, make preparations for the future, but live your life now.

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Making Your Way Out Of The Swamp Of Denial

swampimages

Making your way out of the swamp of denial or helping someone make his or her way out of the swamp of denial may have many causalities, yourself included.  Too many people do not want to pay the price; but they have to pay the piper eventually.  Seniors may put off making the adjustments they need to make in their chosen lifestyle as they get older and need more help.  They are often not willing to face the consequences and often have put it off for way to long and it doesn’t get easier, it just gets harder and harder to do.  Not taking personal responsibility for some of their life decisions as not working is something that gets in the way.  They can get angry and because of their denial they take it out on the very people they need.

Denial is not conducive to rational thinking or to making an objective assessment of the consequences of choices people in denial might make is close to impossible.  Seniors, especially, may have always thought, “I don’t want to think about that yet.  It couldn’t happen to me.  I like things just the way they are.”  Honor thy father and mother is the commandment which gets harder and harder to obey.  In fact these people may drive away the very people they need.

Now Is The Time That....

Now Is The Time That….

Such people in denial (like some seniors) often have had a position of status quo that was comfortable for them and which they never had to compromise.  It is hard for these people to make the necessary adjustments when they never wanted to or had to before.  At the same time their off spring or local support group runs out of patience with them because some seniors who are in denial won’t accept the help  they have to offer and these seniors even get (sometimes) hateful with them.

God Bless you (friends and family) you may be in for a hard ride with no thanks or gratitude or cooperation for your effort.  The problem may be impossible to solve if the person who needs to change is in the state of denial and stays there.  You might even think you are going crazy.  You say to yourself,”This can’t be real.”  You think that no one would deny something like that when the handwriting is clearly on the wall.

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