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Monthly Archives: May 2013

Knowing Your Parents

Wes Jackson and Jane Fonda (Photo by Joan Halifax)

Wes Jackson and Jane Fonda (Photo by Joan Halifax) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Prime Time

Prime Time (Photo credit: raulmahon)

Doing a personal autobiography could help you with this.

I knew that knowing your parents was important from my studies of psychology; but I found this difficult to do earlier in my life.  I could not go home for a visit without having at least one disagreement with my mother.  This wasn’t a problem with my father as I lost him much earlier and when I called home I always talked to my mother and she would tell my father what I had said.  I was always a puzzle to my father anyway and he often did not know or understand exactly what I was doing and/or why I was doing it.

“Knowing Your Parents, ” sounds like the start of a self-help book, possibly an autobiography, doesn’t it,  When I do it, I will have to let you know; but the story keeps changing as I live my life.  I see my story from new and different advantage points as I go along.  As I became a parent as I grew older, I understood things about my parents I didn’t understand when I wasn’t a parent.

Someone who actually did this was Jane Fonda in her book, “Prime Time.”  I don’t know why I picked up this book as I didn’t like Jane Fonda or what she stood for at the time.  I didn’t think the book would be a self-help book and even if it was, I didn’t think she would have any good advice to give.  I was surprised to find that Jane Fonda had obtained some perspective on her life, on why she had done certain things, and why she doesn’t think the same way now that she did earlier in her life.  In her book, she basically encourages people to write their life stories and to see what kind of insights about themselves they can get by doing this.

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The Problem With News Reporting

The problem with news reporting is not that there is too much of it, but that the same material is repeated over and over, hour by hour.  Why are we being flooded with news, but not all the news that is fit to print.  This used to be called brain washing.  Hour after hour, we hear the same thing over and over.  I am listening to hear the news not someone’s biased reporting of it or some expert’s opinion repeated ad nausea.

Journalism used to be a profession.  That is another problem with news reporting.  Facts were checked and sources were screened.  People worked their way up in the field.  There were prizes and awards that were truly earned.  Where did they go?  You couldn’t curry the favor of a true news reporter.  They couldn’t be bought or sold.

Another problem with news reporting is that now fame and notoriety seem to be more important than honor and self-respect.  The spin on something is more important than the truth.  Good old fashioned values have bit the dust.  At one time someone would have rather died than been seen as a coward or as someone who had no morals.

Being the first one to report something no matter how inaccurate is what is the most important.  Even if the reported “facts” are later proven to be wrong and may have accounted for the mishandling of a legal or political situation, it is still more important to get there first and to get the public to believe your view of it even if you later are proven to be inaccurate  and your slant on it wrong.

It is not that there aren’t honorable people reporting the news, but it seems harder and harder to find them.


What consumes your mind, controls your life.

What consumes your mind, controls your life. (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

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Getting Upset Over Something

loveyouradultchildrenGetting upset over something sometimes means you have a tender heart.  I see you getting upset over something and it breaks my heart.  No, I am not upset over what upset you for what could I do to keep that from happening to you?  Getting upset over something small seems to be your fate and when I get involved, it seems to be too late.

Getting upset over something that happens to you seems to be my problem too.  I don’t want to see you hurt and what hurts you hurts me.  The first time it happened (or when it first happened in a big way) it ruined my day.  I cried with you and sobbed my heart out.  It was terrible that I couldn’t do anything to mend your heart on my part.

When you (the keeper of my heart) get upset over something about which you can do nothing and which was not really your fault at the start, it is harder to do something about it as you never had control to start with. You can do little, if anything, about it now.  You are upset when someone does something for you and it doesn’t work out and you know there is no way you can fix it after the fact.  I feel bad for you and here I am getting upset over something that I didn’t cause in the first place just like you and I can’t fix it either.  Getting upset over something is easy to do and harder to fix when it is not you.

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The Problem with Narcissism

The problem with narcissism is it perverts a person’s sense of morals. Does being a narcissist give you free rein to create any piece of fiction you want to be true?  (This is lying by the way.)  Why does the end justify the means in this case?  Do People in business and politics lose sight of the truth when it doesn’t suit their purposes.  Why do we have to justify having power over others when it doesn’t benefit them.

Keeping Up with the Kardashians

Keeping Up with the Kardashians (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The problem with narcissism is that it is all me, me, me!  If not me, me, me; it’s you, you, you.  Everyone wants their ten minutes of fame.  Reality TV exploits this.  We exploit this by watching it instead of living our own lives.  People make a living off of becoming famous (the Kardashians) and focus on the most superficial things in life to maintain their position and popularity and thus their income.

What is important in life?  The superficial or the meaningful?  The biggest sources of information, the news, the internet, social networks, television promote the lowest forms of narcissism and eats holes in our value systems.  Being superficial and promoting selfish goals has become America‘s style of life.

me,me,mejpgAnother problem with narcissism is that we focus on it too much.  Much of the stress in this life involves promoting and supporting our own and other people’s narcissism.  The evils of business and politics seem to have their origin in narcissism.  Sometimes It is more important how much you are in the public eye than what you do and say when you are there.  When people are in the pubic eye, they do not take responsibility for what they portray.  They often seem it as an opportunity to promote their own interests rather than to make changes for the good of society as a whole.  How come we are not taught to think about how we can contribute to the lives of others and the world rather than what we only can do for ourselves and our own personal interests.

Another problem with narcissism:  Is the motto of many such people, take all you can get and leave little or nothing for anybody else.  As we rise in life in terms of wealth and power, do we use it for only our own good or for the good of all.  I am not necessarily promoting a welfare state with government as our big mother or daddy.  But how about the idea that as one gets ahead in life, they will use this power to help others get ahead too.

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The Tower of Babble And What It Means Today

Ever since Biblical times and the Tower of Babble, the people of the world speak many different languages.  The problem isn’t just that every different language may have a different word for house, but that some languages have several different words for house and some languages may not have a word for house at all.  This is what makes translations difficult and often confusing.  Also parts of grammar can be different and so can the structure of a sentence.  So when you learn a new language you have to pay attention to a lot more than vocabulary.  Different languages use different sounds and as children grow up with a language they learn how to selectively make some sounds (the ones that predominate in their language) and not others.  This is what makes it hard for some people to learn a new language.  They may have never developed the ability to make certain sounds and/or they initially had the ability to make made certain sounds when they babbled as babies, but as they imitated those around them, the  ability to make other sounds atrophied from disuse.  This may be why certain people who learned one language as a child and who learn to speak another language

"The Tower of Babel" by Pieter Brueg...

“The Tower of Babel” by Pieter Bruegel the Elder. Oil on board, 1563. The Tower of Babel symbolises the division of mankind by a multitude of tongues provided through heavenly intervention. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

as their primary language later as an adult speak with an accent.

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Fantasy And Reality Are Not That Far Apart


Fantasy and reality are not that far apart.  You know they are the same in your heart.  There are many similarities between fantasy and reality.  Fantasy is just the way you’d like things to be and reality is just the way things are right now.  How often does fantasy lead to reality?  How many things have been played out in fantasy before they made it to reality.  How about Leonardo Da Vinci and the sketches he drew of things that didn’t make it to reality until now.  Yes, fantasy did become reality just not then.

The scary thing is that bad things follow the same method of manifestation.  Sexual offenders and terrorists often start the same way by thinking of what what they would like to do and then imagining it really happening.  Is this maybe why pornography, video games, and horror movies sometimes can have such harmful effects.  Things can be initially tried out by performing relatively harmless acts.  When they begin to lose their effect (the thrill is lost) and/or the reward that they get from doing them is not large enough, the things that they do become more and more harmful and take more and more daring.  They go from harmless? fantasy and reality becomes the next step.  The perpetrator then performs the actual act,i.e. rape, murder, or terrorism.


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Disgusting Things Like Insects

Disgusting things like insects used to freak me out.  What’s disgusting?  From an objective point of view nothing is disgusting  Take a look around.  What were you taught that was uky?  Taking this idea even further, what is beautiful?  If you love something, isn’t it beautiful?  Everything is made of atoms and you can break that down even farther into vibrations.  What is good or bad about vibrations?  I guess nothing unless they can hurt living things, you, me, the trees, the animals etc.

Where did this idea about writing about disgusting things come from? I had a dream about bugs last night.  Different kinds of bugs had gotten into something I was using and, in my dream, I and other people were  picking them out.  Do you realize that there are all different kinds of bugs and they are marvels of engineering.  Can you see beauty in bugs?  Well, what if you were taught how to see it when you were a child.  My initial reaction to insects has been ick, except for butterflies, moths, lady bugs, and dragon flies.  They are marvelous miniature creations  of nature and they can do somethings we can’t do.  Have you ever spun a web?

More disgusting things.  Getting a little more gruesome, some animal (probably a cat) had left a grayish glob of what looked like guts and worms on my porch.  Since, I have small grandchildren that play out there, I wanted to get it and throw it away so they couldn’t get in to it.  Well, I cheated , my son happened to have a rubber glove in his pocket so he picked it up and threw it over the railing.  I, however, didn’t have an

English: A diagram of the anatomy of the Cocci...

English: A diagram of the anatomy of the Coccinellidae (ladybug). (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

apoplectic fit like I might have had in the past.

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Just A Taste

Taste of Milano 2012

Taste of Milano 2012 (Photo credit: br1dotcom)

You might think it strange that I am talking about food.  However, psychology covers all of human behavior and that includes eating.  I just noticed something.  The first few bites of food usually taste great and you think that you want to eat some more of that and some more of that; but suddenly it doesn’t taste as good.  The taste is not as intense and you keep on eating trying to discover that first magical taste again and it doesn’t work.  I am not a foodie but now I think know why in gourmet meals that sorbet is served between courses to refresh the palate.  The same thing is true for me with candy.  I love dark chocolate truffles, but the last few don’t taste as good as the first few.  I think that the taste buds satiate rather quickly and some or all of the experience is lost.  What do you think?  This may be why at fine restaurants servings are small, even dainty, and why there are several different courses to a meal.  Could knowing this help you lose weight?  Maybe.  Once you know that the initial enjoyment is in the first few bites, why gorge yourself as that won’t make it any better, it may make it even less satisfying.  Thought for the day.

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