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Monthly Archives: August 2013

If I am One Hundred Percent So Are You

Not So Much to Be Loved as to Love

Not So Much to Be Loved as to Love (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

How do you picture other people in your life?  Are they 100%?  If you are 100% then more then likely they are 100% too.

I was looking for a way to say that all people are equal in the Supreme Being‘s eyes and if we love ourselves, we love others too.  In find it difficult to say I love you to everybody; but I found that I could say, “You are 100%.”

My next step will be to say, “You are worthy of love.”  What motivates you in your behavior is often the fact that you don’t feel loved and you feel that you have to hurt others in retaliation for this.

What horrible things we do because we do not really love ourselves.  Think of all the not so  random shootings and vehicular violence that occurs.  We all want to be loved and accepted.

Missing the love and respect of just one parent can damage a person irrevocably and result in retalitory violence against his or her spouse and children and against the world in general.  How many people have grown up with angry parents who take their anger out on their children?

How can a parent give a child the necessary unconditional love when they did not get it themselves?  How much of a child’s behavior is motivated by a desire to be loved and accepted?  Gang membership is often used as a way to do this.

So let’s make a start and just say in our heads to everyone we meet, “You are 100%.”

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Don’t Let Emotion Rule Your Life

pebbles_ripples_pondDon’t let emotion rule your life.  It can spread and infect everything that surrounds it.  It becomes a series of concentric circles like those made by a pebble being thrown into a pond.  Who knows?  Maybe your morning temper tantrum because the coffeepot timer was not turned on and you didn’t get to have your morning coffee may extend so far that a city bus driver kicks a mother with a sick kid off the bus for not having the correct change.  It may feel better but taking something out on somebody else that is not their fault is contagious and can ruin the day for every person it comes in contact with.  I’m sorry you are feeling bad; but don’t take it out on the wrong person.

Don’t let emotion rule your life.  Sexual feelings aren’t the responsibility of the person that attracted you  Sexual feelings are owned not by the person who elicits them but by the one who has them.  This may be a more common experience for women who have had unwanted and inappropriate passes made towards them.  I had a guy who tried to “cop a feel” on the greyhound bus.  I didn’t say anything; but I shoved stuff between us and changed my seat at the next rest stop.  This has happened to me with someone who was my supervisor and also with someone who was my doctor.  Both I think were married and I was single.  You know, I spent an entire retreat with a group of mostly lesbian women, and never got a pass made at me or an inappropriate touch no matter what we were doing or how we were dressed or undressed?  I am just an ordinary woman.  The movie, Fatal Attraction, portrayed a woman’s obcessive preoccupation with a man who first pursued her and then rejected her.

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Defining Your Identity

English: High school students from the United ...

English: High school students from the United States learn about prerequisites for veterinary school and the veterinary school admissions process at a career fair in March 2005 in Washington, D.C. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The process of defining one’s identity can be an arduous task.  It can be a never ending process lasting throughout your entire life.  No wonder some people take the “easy” way out and join a cult.  Scientology is an example of this.  In return for doing what appears to be getting your life in order you give up your freedom to live your own life.  The more unambiguous an organization is the more attractive it is to some people, especially those who can’t deal with ambiguity.

“Foreclosure” is the psychological word for accepting as your identity something that society, your family, your culture has set up for your future without much consideration of what that would mean for you.  Freedom of choice was often not a factor here.  Large catholic families, for example, in the past often had at least one child that they planned to have devote her or his life to the church by becoming a nun, sister, priest, or monk.  If it is a good fit, the person can have a successful life.  Often, especially in the past, this decision was made when the child was very young and while attending Catholic school.

Often one still chooses their identity at an early age even if his or her family did not choose it for them because the process involved in achieving that career takes a lot of preparation and it needs to be done early.  This is often clear when a person decides to make a career change later in life.  Now that people are living longer, it is happening more and more often.  Often it is a part of mid-life crisis.  Often people who do not “jump” into something early in their lives often are afraid that they will “miss the boat.”  Yet those who do so later often have more experience and make better choices.  This is very clear in careers that peak early and bring with them fame and fortune but allow little time for those who are successful that way to develop their talents and their characters.

More to come later on finding your spiritual identity and when, if, and how doing so relates to finding a career.  Also how your initial identity is created by your environment (including your family), by your heredity (abilities, deficiencies, and talents), by the place where you were born, the time when you were born, and by the political and religious issues at that time.

Career path

Career path (Photo credit: highwind012)

 

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