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Monthly Archives: October 2013

You Can’t Give Away Kindness.

kindness, giving awayYou can’t give away kindness.  It keeps coming back.  Seen on a local church sign.  Makes the world a better place.  Doesn’t it?  How well you treat others will determine how well you are treated.  Make somebody’s day.  Stop an avalanche of anger that started when that person got up on the wrong side of the bed today.

There is so much you can do to make the world a better place.  Good is more powerful than evil.  Happiness and laughter are contagious.  Don’t let the world drag you down.  Turn the other cheek.  Don’t let rude behavior become contageous.  Say something cheerful like , “It looks like we’re going to have a sunny day,” instead of something  depressing.kindness

Remember Be it, until you become it.  How many breast cancer victims laughed their way through chemotherapy?  Laughter is the best medicine.  Whose lives can you touch positively this day?  Say, “Thank you,” for everything that effects your life.  Clean water, shelter, plentious food, the affection of spouse, children, and friends.  The fact that you are warm and comfortable or cool and comfortable.   An attitude of thankfulness like an act of kindness can change your world.  Instead of always looking for something to gripe about.laughing_cat

Being picky can ruin your day as well as someone else’s.  I won’t be happy if…I don’t get my morning latte, there is a traffic jam on the way to work, I oversleep and am late, etc.  Remember your attitude determines your altitude.  If not plan A, then plan B, if not plan B, then plan C, etc.  Who knows what will work out for you.  Being right is not the be all and end all of existence.

Happiness depends on you.  Be very careful how you spend your day.  It only comes by once.  Share a kindness with someone today, maybe even yourself.  Do you create disappointment and hurt feelings when and where they didn’t exist before.  It is like a rolling snowball gathering momentum and more snow as it goes downhill.

What would you rather create? happiness or gloominess.  For example, somewhere a person is not happy because the sun is shining.  Is it you?  You are in a bad mood and it is going to stay that way.  Watch out everybody, here I come.  Madder than a wet hen about what is going on in your world right now.  Bad news travels fast.  What about good news.  Haven’t we lost our focus and let other things (especially the media and other people) determine our mood.

Do your part to “lighten” up the world and it will come back to you.kindness,acts of

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Creativity And Counterproductive Thinking

not who you are 344Is your thinking sometimes counterproductive?  Do you think the same old thing over and over and it doesn’t do a thing for you or your situation?  Do your thoughts often block your creativity and productivity?  How often do you think to yourself, “I can’t so why even try?”  It always keeps you from doing anything about it.

Counterproductive thinking often keeps one from thinking out of the box which is sometimes necessary to think of a solution.  Creativity is what it is all about.  Instead of thinking of one solution (even if tried and true) for a problem, think of many even if they don’t all work out then you have “exercised” your creativity.   I think the word is rigid for those who are stimmied when their planned for or go-to solution doesn’t work.

Some people have an incredibly difficult time changing gears when the first solution doesn’t work.  I always say, “If not plan A, then plan B.  If not plan B, then plan C and so on.”  The world is not designed so that “one size” fits all situations.  The brain continues to form new connections as long as you continue to use it.  Grow with me  Come share the excitement of a new ay of thinking, of possibility thinking.

Weddings are occasions when inevitably this type of problem occurs.  There seems to be at least one snafu.  The wrong wedding flowers arrive, the photographs don’t turn out, etc.  You can grin and bear it or try another way.  This ensures a happy occasion.  The guests might even think that you planned it that way.

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Who Are You? Does anybody Know?

It's Still Like a Secret

It’s Still Like a Secret (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The secret, sacred self is highly guarded.  There are lots of things about yourself that even you don’t know.  Life is a process of discovery.  When you let someone into your secret, sacred self (even yourself), you are very vulnerable.  It could be deadly.  People have committed suicide over feeling rejected, not only by others, but also by themselves.  What is so unacceptable about you.  What can’t you admit about yourself (even to yourself) that is so dangerous?

There used to be encounter groups of all kinds, often not run by qualified group therapists.  Confrontation was often the style of group process.  People got hurt mentally and physically when they had to admit the worse about themselves and some terrible deep dark secret was revealed.  Sometimes the person was released from the session to grin and bare it alone.  Reliable, reputable groups did not do this but were there when the sessions ended to handle the fall out.  They were there to catch the recent participants before they fell to far.

What is so unacceptable about us?  Who led us when we were little children to accept the fact that we were unacceptable for some reason and to keep it a secret.  Unconditional love handles the whole problem.  Is there any sin that can’t be forgiven?   We often build walls around ourselves which prevent people from getting too close and discovering our unacceptable secret sins.  Confession is good for the soul.  It might even be that what you did did not hurt anyone in spite of what you thought at the time.

There are astonishing stories about victims’ families that forgave the person who took their child or family member from them and even took the perpetrator into their own family circles.  If they can do that, what is holding you back?  What kind of conceit is it that says that you (among all the evil people in the world) do not qualify for forgiveness and for unconditional love?  Unconditional love is just that, unconditional love.

If you are religious, who are you to tell God that he can’t forgive you and accept you (and your shortcomings) among all people in creation?  Nuff said!  Move over; there has got to be somebody in worse shape than you.  If you don’t believe me, read something on satanic ritual abuse.  Second thought, don’t.  It can creep you out.

Psychotherapy‘s ultimate goal is to forge a relationship between the patient and the therapist that is strong enough to withstand any revelation to the therapist by the patient.  If the therapist has been in business of psychotherapy long enough, he or she has heard it all.  Nothing surprises him or her anymore let alone what you have to tell him or her!  This confession is often the real beginning of the therapeutic relationship, not the end.

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