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Monthly Archives: February 2021

Hallucinations As Bipolar Disorder Symptoms

Fluctuating moods most everyone expects with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder; but not necessarily hallucinations. When I learned this, I realized that I had been having both visual and auditory hallucinations, especially in the past few years. When I thought of having hallucinations as being crazy. Some things like voices in one’s head; possibly scary ones. I realized I had been having ones but the ones I had had I thought of being spiritual possibly visions or things that I actually heard someone say to me (but I wasn’t quite sure). I realized how embarrassing it would have been if I had shared my experiences with someone else. Matter of fact, it is embarrassing for me to be revealing this to you now.

When it comes to visual hallucinations that I remember started when I was a child. I had asthma and one night I saw green and orange bugs and worms crawling across the ceiling. Fortunately or unfortunately my mother thought it was due to the codeine in the cough syrup that she was giving me. This may have been one of the reasons that I was afraid of the dark. Fast-forwarding to seven years ago I had a dream or a vision where I saw a couple of workers in helmets through a corner window in my room at a rooming house. It was the middle of the night and I asked them why they were there so early. There was no window in the corner of the room. That morning I learned there really was a gas leak and there were gas workers in the driveway initially and later in the house close to my room.
Prior to that when I was in a nursing home recovering from surgery, I saw a candy striper come to my room with a tray of cinnamon rolls. That hospital had no candy stripers.

As far as auditory hallucinations go, I thought I heard someone say something when they really didn’t, things like I love you and you could be a preacher.
I wasn’t sure that these people had really said those things and didn’t say anything or it would have been embarrassing. Prior to these things. I had been visiting a friend in the nursing home where she had gone because her physical problems required that she get the care of the nursing staff. I was visiting in the dining room along with a couple, a minister and his wife, and I either heard the words that indicated that Jesus was fighting the devil for my friend’s soul. This was very upsetting for me as I knew that she was very sick and might die someday. I didn’t share this with any one of them but I did discuss this with a couple of people I was close to. I also had the feeling that neither of these two people was a true Christian even though one was a minister and they were making calls to see people that one might have expected to need Christain reassurance.

I didn’t view these as hallucinations but as spiritual occurrences which indicated that I might have abilities to see or hear things from another dimension.

Paw Prints In The Snow

Seeing him here.
seeing him there.
Been gone away
Many a day
I cry
I wipe my eye;
One tear here One tear there
He could be anywhere

He could be anywhere
where do kitties go
The Bible doesn’t show.
I sure don’t know.
Is there another
Somewhere or other
After the end
Of my friend.

How could I be so whitty
When I have lost my kitty?
Will a fuzzy beast show up
Will I watch a tiny kitty grow up?
Still I look up to the sky
And ask why did my kitty die.
I didn’t see him go
There were no footprints in the snow.

Prisoners

Prisoners of Time
Standing in Line
Man by Man
Doing what they can
To pass the time

Kicking and screaming
and illigetimate dreaming
Only the lonely
For themselves only
Doing their own time

Raped and abandoned
Neither left or right handed
Join a gang bang
Or be a gang bang
Losing their mind

Extremely candid
And every man did
What he was commanded
Became right or left handed
Down fall the sands of time

Black and white and yellow
Doing time makes you mellow
Bargaining in boxes
Thinking of foxes
Doing your own time

Restrained by bars
And without cars
Living alone yet
Living in a human net
Forget, forget, forget

(I worked over seven years in male prisons.)