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Monthly Archives: April 2021

Don’t Let Someone Else’s Frustration Lead To Your Frustration Too

Frustration can be catching.  A person who is frustrated is often looking for someone else to place the blame on or they might simply want someone to commiserate with them.  However, when they do this they might be looking for someone else to agree with them and if they don’t agree, the person gets mad at them also.  Now two people are frustrated and that doesn’t solve the problem.

Blaming someone else can lead to solving the problem for some people.  Then they can walk away from the problem as they can see the other person as causing the problem even if they didn’t.  They may leave grumbling to themselves with possibly a relationship destroyed in the process.  If the other person who is involved in this upset plays their part right, they will feel guilty too.  Some people, when the encounter is over, may realize when they are some distance from the situation may they hadn’t done anything to the other person but sympathize with them.

I’ve said this before, “Don’t let some legitimate frustration lead to more frustration than was initially created”.  Giving help is a fine thing to do; but not if the person won’t legitimately consider what is offered.  Such people often are not really wanting to be calmed down and then to see what happened as not as upsetting as it once was.  You may have learned to not let one frustration lead to another but they haven’t.

I may have said this before but if someone looks like they have a storm cloud hanging over their head don’t encourage a lightning strike because it might even be directed your way.  I have learned to put my distance from that person.  Lightning can strike closer than you think even when you see the mire possibility of a lightning strike move on out.  The biggest problem like this happens when you are in line at the checkout counter and the person ahead of you (it doesn’t matter how many persons are between you and him or her) has a problem.  Any comment good or bad might be taken the wrong way.  It might take away to have the storm blow over.  If you are at the end of the line, you might be able to escape or better yet not get in this line if you see trouble coming or worse yet you see trouble occurring.

Worse yet, is if trouble is already occurring and you can’t not get involved, like when your husband or wife is getting in the car with you or you have to get in the car to get home with him or her and he or she is already mad and worse yet they take it out on you as there is no one else to attack.  Often no matter what you say it gets you into trouble or if they get in the car with you or if you are already in the car.  You’d like to take cover or run.

Maybe the best way to handle this matter is to take a time when everybody is claimed down to discuss this.
Saying something like remember when I got in the car mad about how some salesperson treated me, I took it all on you.  Wouldn’t that be if this sort of thing happens with you or me?  We agree both of us to calm down and discuss this later when we have a safe place to discuss these things.  You might bring out some of this author’s comments on this type of problem.

 

Don’t Let Your Frustration with Being Frustrated Lead To More Frustration

You are a mechanic and you break your favorite and most useful tool and now you can’t finish your project until you run to the store and buy a new one, but the stores are closed.  How frustrating is that!  Very frustrating; but what if you get mad and throw your next favorite tool and it bounces up and hits the car that you were working on and dents it  Initially you had just one problem and now you have two or three.  Your favorite son comes in the garage door and you yell, “Get out of here before I take your favorite toy away”.

Phew, this is disgusting and leads to more problems than the one you started out with.  Sometimes just walking away from the problem if you can do this helps cut down on the amount of frustration you feel.  It might be difficult to just walk away if you can.   You can take some time to cool down and then seek help.  You can ask for advice from someone or you can just give yourself some time out.  Maybe you will think of another solution right away or you might start brainstorming some possible solutions.  Or you could give up the job and let somebody else do it.  Especially if you think about the possible cost of buying that new tool and trying to fix the dent yourself.

Women seem to have a different way of handling such situations  They almost immediately start to put themselves down and during the litany of saying such terrible things, they don’t want to touch the problem again.  This means the problem won’t get solved.  The problem becomes such a bad and scary thing they don’t want to face it.  Then they think about how others might think of them if they knew he or she was having this problem.  Also, he or she might think of the cost involved in seeking help for the problem.  They are feelings of low self-esteem, anger, being put down by someone else without them offering to help, or if they do offer to help, she or he feels put down.

A good personal rule to observe is don’t let one problem lead to another.  People sometimes don’t see clearly when they are so upset with the frustration they are dealing with.  Sometimes people wind up with more problems that they wouldn’t have caused if they waited and thought about it.  Frustration happens to everyone and don’t get upset about it happening to you.  If you are a Christian, you should know that things didn’t always work out right for prophets, Kings, and the disciples in the Bible.    They had big problems and yours can seem small by comparison.  Think of Job who lost everything but eventually got it back when he didn’t expect to get it back.

Of course, you call break things, get mad at somebody who really didn’t have much to do with the problem, walk away and never come back, become suicidal, break up a relationship with the person who really didn’t have much to do with the problem, destroy the things that you were working on which initially didn’t have much wrong with them, etcetera,  etcetera.

Give yourself some time off if you can so you can see it clearer later.  Do some self-reinforcement by thinking about problems you solved in the past and/or, thinking of someone who could help you without putting you down.  Put a stop to the negative thinking you might have started.  Give yourself some time out.  Don’t let one problem lead to another if it didn’t have to do so.

 

 

A Little Dribble Of Poetry

 

I frequently talk in rhyme
Just any old time.
It may be a dribble
Right in the middle
Of a conversation.
It is a form of relaxation

Even if it sounds silly,
I just go willy-nilly.
Everywhere I go
Even if I am slow
My rhymes just go
And I just know…
.
Rhymes follow me
That I can see.
It matters how things sound
Even if no one is around
And I go to town
Showing how things sound!.

FOOL ME ONCE SHAME ON YOU; FOOL ME TWICE SHAME ON ME

Do you believe what he is saying?

Reading people Is An Important Skill To Have No Matter What Your Age.

I watched the FBI director being interviewed for his current position. He very carefully told the interviewers what they needed to hear. He was not open and he didn’t give a spontaneous answer to anything they asked of him.  A good FBI director would have followed up on things that popped up that required that he would step out and do things that needed to be done no matter how unpopular. He has been safe and careful and in my opinion useless. It was easy to see this happening from how he acted during the interview.

Another thing to watch for is nervousness. The person on your TV screen frequently looks down and away from the camera. The person has nervous gestures like pencil tapping. They may grimace. How comfortable are they with what they are doing? If it is the type of situation where they should feel pressured or upset then it is okay.

When you meet a person that you have just met and they are overly friendly,  does this person have reason to befriend you such as a car salesman or an insurance salesman? You should initially be cautious.  This is especially true if you appear to be lonely or unsure. You can be an easy target for a scam. I can be one. Promises and compliments can manipulate. I was one for a car salesman from whom I bought my first car. He said he needed to borrow $1000 from me. Needless to say, he never paid me back.  From this, it is clear that I can be an easy target for scams. I think that might be part of bipolar disorder which I found out that I have recently.

What you see is not always what you get.  If something appears to be too good; then be careful.  Don’t fall for a person’s line.  Don’t be too needy or quick to accept a proposal.  The person may feel excited for you to accept their offer.  People in sales can become good actors.  They befriend people quickly and easily.  It is always good to go into a sales situation cautiously and carefully try to judge how the person is acting to reacting  Sometimes things are to be too good to be true and they are.  How excited is the person?   Do they have your best interests at heart?  Are they earnest?  Are they too quick to wrap up a deal?  How anxious are they?

Look for nervousness.  Look for a person being too excited about you accepting a deal.  Look for nervous gestures when a person is supposed to be sincere.   Ne careful when it is clear that a person is acting and saying how they are supposed to in a given situation

Why Does A Person Have A Shopping Addiction?

 

Gluttony Could Be A Form Of Food Addiction

My first shopping addiction- involved collecting colored glassware from the early 19oos.   My then-fiance gave me a pressed glass turquoise goblet in the moon and star pattern,  It was then I decided to collect turquoise glass or other pieces of glass in the moon and star pattern.  After we were married and lived in Kansas, it was our hobby to go out in the countryside looking for pieces of glass that attracted us.  It was easy to charge our purchases.  Then we acquired cabinets to put the glass in.  When we divorced, we had to decide who got what.  He got all the goblets except the one he gave me.  I got the vaseline glass, a weird yellow-green, and a few pieces of carnival glass, not the orange-yellow glass that most people collected, but the blue, green, and purple. That was one type of shopping addiction where if you saw something to have in your collection’ you just had to have it and usually found a way to pay for it creating a large number of charges on your credit card.

Then it involved shopping for clothes.  I wanted to have clothes In the style that was most popular.  Would you believe that?   I had to have mini shirts and combination panty-slips to go under them?    I loved wild shoes and I especially liked wedgies.  That addiction continues to this day.  And it also included my children when they were home and in school.  I remembered being in high school and not having new outfits every fall in high school and college like the other girls.  Some even had matching underwear.  I made sure that I had appropriate underwear for my going away outfit and nighties for my bridal wardrobe when I got married in the ’60s.

This continued to the present when I liked to dress as my type 3 in Dressing Your truth and when I got bigger, I had to discard smaller clothes and get bigger ones and always in the right colors and textures for a type 3.  I did not save up for my purchases and I did not have a budget.  I did not get a thrill when I did this like some people with a shopping addiction which was one difference.  Men, for example. could have an addiction involving cars, hunting equipment,  sports equipment, or even clothes or watches.

Some people get a thrill out of spending money.    It is like an alcohol or drug addiction.  There is a biological reaction.  Once the person attains this,  they want to get some more. People also do this as a form of competition.   Gambling is a form of this. They have to look better than someone else or at least as good as someone else.  They are not comfortable unless they do.   Buying a used name brand item for less than half the price is an example of this.  The item may not match your wardrobe, but it is a Gucci or something like that.

A coup;e of things to do to stop a shopping addiction would be to think of something you could buy if you did not buy those items and saved up.  Never go shopping without a list.  Currently, I need a crossbody bag as mine wore out.  I should look for that and not buy anything else I find in my search for such a bag.

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