Adjusting to Life as We Mature
The least contented people I know are the ones who freeze up when something in their life has to change, and who put off decisions until the choice gets made for them. As we age, certain calls come due. We have to look squarely at how we're living and decide what, if anything, needs to shift. Knowing your own tastes is useful, sure, but it can quietly turn into a cage if it stops you from trying anything unfamiliar. Watch a child for an afternoon: they bump into new experiences constantly and rework their behavior on the spot. That capacity doesn't expire on a schedule. The brain goes on rewiring itself every time we learn something. Scientists have a word for this, neuroplasticity.
Jane Fonda, in her book Prime Time, suggests writing out a life history as a way to look at yourself from a fresh angle. You lay out the roads you took and where each one actually led. With that in front of you, it becomes easier to spot what you'd want to do differently. Picture a woman who realizes she has never felt complete on her own, so she has moved from one partner to the next, each time reshaping how she behaves and even how she thinks to fit whoever she's with. Somewhere across all that adapting, the person she really is went missing.
Bend and you may avoid breaking. Nobody gets to assume the world will cooperate, not even when they're convinced they're right and that things ought to go their way. Routines that feel comfortable are fine to have. But when circumstances pull them out from under us, erupting into anger or tears or something closer to rage isn't the answer.