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Are You Missing Confidence (In Yourself)? Or Did You Let Someone Take It From You?

How come we are so attached to what other people say about us negatively that we can’t even think of something nice to say about our selves?  How often do we rant and rave about all our deficiencies so much that we almost make a rut so deep in our lives that we can’t see out of it and can’t get out of it?  Or so much so that we have become a “sad sack” instead of a Knight or Lady in shining armor?


Have you ever heard the song, “I ain’t down yet!”,  from the musical Annie Get Your Gun sung by Debbie Reynolds?  We drive ourselves deeper and deeper into self-pity and lack of self-confidence rather than push ourselves up to where we would like to be and ought to be.  We often forget our goals in life and resort to just trying to keep ourselves above ground or above water?  We are more concerned about sinking than bringing ourselves up.  The trick is that others often push us down to bring themselves up.  They believe that there is no room at the top for anybody but them.  Remember the childhood game, King of the hill?


Scary isn’t it?  What if it wasn’t true?  What if there is more room at the top than what others people in your past made you think? Or what if they really have low self-esteem themselves and they don’t want to be alone at the bottom of the heap so they attempt to bring you down with them?  What a fool you are when the means of getting back to where you have confidence in your self is not that far away!  Fooled you, fooled you, made you look, made you buy a penny book.


To bring yourself up out of this morass, you have to believe the truth (about yourself).  You have more potential than you think you have and those that get ahead of you because of this, may have less potential than you have.  For example as a woman Ph.D. in the 70’s I was ahead of the pack.  There were way fewer girls at the time than boys in my clinical psychology class and a higher percentage of the girls in the program got their Ph.D.’s than boys.


Later on, I found that both women and men who worked with me believed one of two things.  1) That if I could get a Ph.D., it must not have been that difficult and that if they wanted to, they could have had their Ph.D. in a couple of years after they had finished their masters and 2) That I was potentially was a Ph.D. snob and if I could get my Ph.D., it didn’t mean that I could tell them what to do.  Also if they had any power or influence and didn’t have a degree like I did from a big university, that I deserved to be taken down a peg or two by them.  ENVY!  NOT COOPERATION at work here.


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