Birds of a Feather

Marriage Day (Photo credit: Fikra)

I have found out that often people with equal problems attract.  This is often made clear in marriage counseling or when functioning as a mediator in a divorce proceeding.   Often you only get one side of the story when talking to someone about their recent breakup.  It often seems very clear that the other party has all the problems.  What people don’t know is that if they had talked to the other person first, they would have gotten a different story.  When talking about a broken relationship, it is always easier to blame the other person than to see ones own problems that also contributed to the breakdown in the relationship.

Healthy people are usually not attracted to people with obvious problems.  People who form a relationship with another person in order to help them often have problems of their own that are not so obvious.  Trying to be a “savior” of other people is not a healthy way to live and it can become even worse when you marry in order to do this.  I am not saying that you shouldn’t try to help people, but you need to have a life separate from this.  Have you seen where a person takes on one hopeless case after another and often ends up marrying them.  These people have an unhealthy need to be in a relationship where they can see themselves as the strong one (and a better person) and the other person as the weak one.

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• Ways to Stay Together (weddingbee.com)
• What We See in Others Is What We Often Deny in Ourselves (myeverydaypsychology.com)
• Active, Passive (myeverydaypsychology.com)