Domestic violence often lets the perpetrator get away with doing it and people may think that the victim probably deserved it and/or it was just a family quarrel. Why then do police officers get killed answering domestic violence calls. How many women, even men, suffer permanent injuries which ought to require hospitalisation and reconstructive surgery and they don’t get it. What about the children that witness this violence even though they don’t get physically hurt themselves. Who learns that it is okay to vent your anger upon another helpless individual when they can’t defend themselves. When you are mad, the only way to handle it is to take it out on someone or something else especially when the source of that anger is not available to take it out on. Imagine someone coming home from work and they are mad about something that happened that day and they pounce on any excuse to take out their anger on.
Domestic violence is not a silly husband and wife quarrel. People like to dismiss this type of violence as it only was no real fight to be worried about because the victims often deny that they were hurt and/or that the perpetrator was or could be violent. Since these people, usually wives and children or sometimes husbands and elderly relatives, have to live in the situation they might not complain as it would only make it worse. They may have no place to go and/or no resources. Police officers, who know how violent these situations can become, may try to pacify the perpetrators and overlook the potentially dangerous behaviour that could exist. People often poo poo domestic violence calls saying why can’t these people solve their own problems or that the victims probably asked for it. In truth, if police officers could show up in riot gear and have a backup, they would probably be a lot safer. Also, you don’t know who is on who’s side. This can be dangerous. Do you think that social workers would or should answer these calls instead of the police? Like in the Stockholm Syndrome. the victims can change sides and defend the preparatory. The relationships
People often poo poo domestic violence calls saying why can’t these people solve their own problems or that the victims probably asked for it. In truth, if police officers could show up in riot gear and have a backup, they would probably be a lot safer. Also, you don’t know who is on who’s side. This can be dangerous. Do you think that social workers would or should answer these calls instead of the police? Like in the Stockholm Syndrome. the victims can change sides and defend the perpetrator.
The home can be a place where violence is born, learned, reinforced, and perpetuated. Yet we often ignore it or mistreat it until it ends in violence and it can be to some person outside the fight that comes to stop it. Actually, we could learn much from the policemen or women who take these calls and the twists and turns that these situations develop when they are in them.
You never know what will happen to you when you enter and try to handle one of these situations. I was a substitute psychiatric aide in a large insane asylum one summer when I was in college. I was in charge of the cafeteria by myself while three wards ate. We were locked in because one of the wards was a locked ward.There was cafeteria help but they would not help me deal with patients. One of the wards I knew, but not the other two. A patient acted up and started slinging mustard and ketchup around and I walked over to her calmly trying to calm her down. I suggested that she ought to go to the bathroom and clean herself up. She suddenly slapped me in the face so hard that I wasn’t sure she hadn’t broken some of my teeth. I was checking myself over when a nurse came into the cafeteria who knew the patient and they walked out together ignoring me. ?
Where does violence begin, where is it reinforced, and often ignored? Yet the histories of violent offenders who kill hapless citizens often start with domestic violence. My cousin, a judge in Northern Illinois, started a special domestic violence diversion court for this. This is going in the right direction. Start with the cause, not the results!
Life doesn’t come with an instruction manual even though you deserve one. You have to write your own!
Criticism is the little voice in your head that holds you back and hinders your performance. Even though others say it is for your own good, sometimes it isn’t.
Reality is not always what you think it is or what you were told it is. You can miss seeing, hearing, feeling and experiencing some things because someone told you that you just were imagining things.
Sometimes as people get older they don’t get wiser, they just get more set in their ways. Sometimes a strongly held theory or opinion becomes a person’s life jacket when he or she is drowning in new information.
How hard is it for a person to change his or her mind? This may be why people are told not to bring up religion or politics at the dinner table. Maybe this is a good reason to think outside the box. Many inventions were created this way.
Remember people are natural born originals and can’t be easily shaped into something that they are not. Gemstones have to be cut into shapes that work with their natural structures. What about individuals who are being shaped into contributing citizens?
Either I already know them or I don’t want to hear them.
Oh, you were just being nice or you wanted to set me straight?
You wanted to be sure I knew something so I wouldn’t embarrass myself or you!
You wanted to show off your superior knowledge and I was a willing victim.
Stop and think before you say something like that because you might reveal more about yourself than you may reveal about me.
Truly meaningful and loving comments build me and you up at the same time.
Next post will be, “When A Compliment Is Not A compliment.”
The witches (at least the bad ones) have gone and people don’t worry about curses being put upon them anymore or do they? When people put you down to make themselves feel better or to raise themselves above you, are they really putting a curse on you especially if you or those around you tend to believe them? The power in a curse is usually the strength that of the belief that the victim has in them.
Also, can putdowns be a form of domestic abuse? Yes, a person can be emotionally as well as physically abused leaving them browbeaten and powerless. Have you ever known a person who doesn’t ever seem to have something good to say about a family member and worse yet, other family members start to do it too.
Doing it to children is a heinous offense. They often do not have a way of knowing that it is not true and they believe it. Other family members, especially other children, will start to do it too. “Monkey see; monkey do” Also siblings seeing it done to a fellow sibling might think that they might be next so they keep the spotlight on their sibling’s faults and deficiencies.
It is not a good joke if the person who is the object of the joke doesn’t laugh at it too. When this happens to children, they are often reduced to tears. The perpetrators say they don’t know why the object of the joke doesn’t think it is funny and they label him or her a “bad sport.”
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