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Blaming Your Shopping Addiction On Anyone But Yourself Is Not Cool

It is difficult to almost impossible to blame your shopping addiction on anyone but yourself and cure it.   The blame and shame that goes with admitting you have a shopping addiction are difficult to deal with. This is especially true if you have a long history of doing this. It is no longer a mistake when you have run-up credit card debt and have acquired clothes and jewelry that you have no place for, or, worse yet, have not ever worn. This can lead (even worse yet) to hoarding and having stuff piled on top of stuff. You can see how this can go on. Worst yet you begin to realize the things that you could have had like trips, education, or different vehicles if you had not spent your money on this stuff.

Once you realize this you can become shameful and you can’t admit the truth to anybody. This attitude makes a twelve-step group difficult to go to as there are several steps that involving opening up to others and not holding stuff in. Your reaction to these steps can be either shame or its opposite anger. Another problem with a shopping addiction is pride. Opening up can lead to blaming others instead of yourself. Or if you have piled up debt so deep that you feel horrible about all the money you wasted. and thus about yourself.

Having a sponsor in a twelve-step group can be very helpful with opening up as they have gone through the same thing and its negative emotions. It is easier to share your losses with someone who can be sympathetic and not shame you.  Revealing that you have backslid and have done the same thing as well as indebting yourself over and over is easier to do with someone who has done this too.  Family members and friends may find it difficult to listen to you because it is difficult for them to you without shaming you and blaming you for doing such things over and over.

Hearing other’s stories can reveal that it is possible to go through running up debt and then trying to pay it off and then running up more debt with flimsy excuses like it was on sale or I had to go on that trip.  Also, there are some success stories that don’t involve following in the debt trap again involving paying off debt, not impulse buying, and paying off extensive debt over time.  There also are pressure relief groups in Debtors Anonymous to help deal with immediate pressing problems like bounced checks that might lead to jail time.

And last, of all like all twelve-step groups, there is a reliance on a higher power to get the strength to open up and make changes.  The higher power does not have to be God, it can be something else but it helps participants to get the strength to make changes.  Most participants know that relying only on themselves doesn’t work.

To learn about twelve-step programs for debtors look up Debtors Anonymous.  Some areas do not have local groups but do offer meetings by phone.  There are also books like Twelve Steps And Twelve Traditions available that explain how the program works.