Why Does The Victim Often Have More Trouble than the Offender?
Here I am in trouble again and you may often find yourself in this type of trouble too. The offender gets out of trouble by blaming the offender. Such as they deserved it. They were so stupid that they deserved to lose to me. Why should they trust people so much? If caught often the punishment does not equal in cost, inconvenience or shame what the offense cost the victim. Often victims have to take on the role of being a damaged person whose repair is difficult, often incomplete and leaves scars.
I am a sexual abuse victim. Even the word victim is personally damaging. I didn’t ask for it but I got it anyway or will get it for sure if I tell anybody like I am doing now. I didn’t realize until the first time I felt a sexual response while making out and it went away. I tried many ways to fix this without any luck and I live with it. Also once a victim, always a victim.
I had a therapist who once called me sexually appealing which made me uncomfortable at the time. At the end of therapy when I was moving out of town he invited me back to let him know how I was doing if ever I was in town. When I came back, I found out that he expected me to have sex with him. I remember nothing that happened after that. Boy was I naive and became a victim again. Now I know why I never felt I was sexually attractive because that was dangerous. It took away from my self-esteem. Now does that mark me as someone to be exploited?
I was considered a behavior problem in grade school. Was I reacting to being sexually abused? I had all men teachers at the time. The best year I had was with my only woman teacher! In those days no one considered the fact that I was a problem because they didn’t know what to do with me. In fact, at graduation, I wasn’t made the valedictorian because of my behavior so I said I wasn’t going to graduation if they didn’t. We compromised, I got the award for the highest grades in the class instead. I think I was one of the first people to threaten to boycott my graduation. Also, I was told I would never make better than a B in high school; however, I graduated high school as my class salutatorian.
I was also bullied in high school on the bus and nobody did nothing about it. I did nothing to deserve it. In fact, I tried to spend my time reading to the little kids on the bus. I ended up not riding the bus. I also was a member of what I called the “out” group the members of which including me all sat in a group in the auditorium. We all there for different reasons, the country kids (but that was not my reason to be there), the less intelligence kids, etc. I was there just because I didn’t make into one of the uppity groups who snubbed us.
In ending, I would like to say that from my point that I became a victim for other people’s enjoyment at my expense. Victims of crimes also seem to get not fully repaid for their losses caused by those who victimize. Victims of break-ins often never feel comfortable in their own homes again.
What are the losses, peace of mind, monetary especially the extra cost of legal fees, medical expenses, the cost of different kinds of therapies needed? Also, the inability to have normal emotional responses again, the ability to trust people, tragic memories or the loss of memories of things that happened, fear of getting in certain situations again. What of these expenses does the offender ever have to pay and does the suffering of being caught and having to pay for these offenses ever catch up with them? Remediation often doesn’t really pay for the offense or it cannot occur for some reason such as the death of the offender or the offense is not considered a crime.
The Devil Made Me Do It
Haven’t you heard that before? Is it really the devil or are there self-defeating thought patterns that cause you to make a mistake, a big mistake.
Then when you are fired, have a traffic accident for which you are considered to be a fault, or blow it somehow and lose a relationship, you are initially entirely mystified as to how you could have fallen into that predicament and until the shock wears off, you are thinking, “Hey, what did I get into? How did that happen? Who, me?”
When the initial blankness wears off, next you face the consequences which can be overwhelming. “Me, how did I get pregnant?” “How will it change my life?” “What happened to my car?” “Is anyone hurt besides possibly me? Will I lose my license? How will I ever find another job with this on my record?”
Decisions may also have to be made at the moment which you might or might not regret later. You can possibly become defensive and whatever the consequences of your decisions you can and will defend them. You can then can become “Mr. or Ms. Neverever Wrong” and this too can prevent you from learning from your mistakes.
You may also have to come to some conclusions which you may regret later. Did you intend to do it or did the devil make you do it? You don’t have to be Christian to think this, but it helps. You may say that you won’t have any regrets because whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault and get yourself lost in denial even if it is not what actually is found to have happened. Sometimes reality can become really, really hazy when this happens.
You can see how your self-concept can keep you from seeing or acknowledging your mistakes and how valuable life lessons can be lost this way. Recently I had a conflict with a friend and lost my relationship with her. I didn’t know it at the time that the heat was getting to her worse than I knew and I was more concerned about my own ability to handle it. I learned, as much as I didn’t like it, that I was not acknowledging the signs she was giving me about her own deteriorating physical wellbeing.
I had had a long-ago lesson ( that pertains to the above situation) where an aunt of my husband’s who was helping me get my baby to the doctor in a far away city didn’t really want to do it and I learned that she really wanted me to read her mind when she said, “Yes” and she really meant, “No”. I was hurt when I found out that she felt I had taken advantage of her and was mad about it.
My husband’s aunt got really mad at me like my friend was when she had heat prostration. I learned that I had to read minds and therefore read between the lines when I was in certain situations even when I was not told something. It initially exasperated me, but I eventually got the hint. It was a very expensive lesson when I also learned that my friend and also a close friend of hers were very mad at me and did not want to communicate with me. Again they felt that I had taken advantage of her and was insensitive.
I certainly was part of the problem; but what if I considered that the devil made me do it. I am sure he would be happy creating conflict among people and making them behave less like a Christian. In the Lord’s prayer is the line,”and lead us not into temptation”. We need to keep on our guard as hurt feelings and confusion are a potentially bad mix. It has caused me a lot of grief. Can you conceive of the devil enjoying this?. I can think that is what God meant when he gave Christians this part of the Lord’s Prayer.
For a long time I was very rational about this part of the Lord’s Prayer and I didn’t think I needed pray it because I always knew what I was doing; but then sometime’s I made some dumb mistakes. For example, one was making a left-turn onto a four lane highway holding my fast food that I had just bought in one hand. I totaled my new car and wound up driving a used Cadillac. I always wanted a Cadillac but not that way. Who was at fault? me? God? or the Devil?
Also sometimes I have been very dense and as a result get caught in the same situation over and over. Was it my fault or the devil’s fault? I felt very strongly that I had to solve my own problems and often was confused in certain situations when I did not catch onto to what others’ wanted of me. I knew I was not meeting their standard’s but I did not know why. I was not getting their hints; but it was not malice on my part.
I have a little true story about me that illustrates this that I might have used in some other of my posts. My lady supervisor at a clinic told me that I had an odor problem. This was confusing to me because I was a regular bath taker, used deodorant, frequently changed my clothes, and washed those that needed it or sent them to the cleaners. Needless to say, I immediately either washed all my clothes or had them cleaned; but the odor persisted. It was very embarrassing and the staff felt like that I had some kind of problem that I wouldn’t admit like to being homeless or living in a dive and had no plumbing. Later I figured out that it was a perfume that I was wearing that didn’t mix well with my body chemistry. I stopped wearing it. Problem solved. But that never did connect with what the staff was thinking.
As a Christian, I latter learned to call on God especially for problems that I couldn’t solve and not to entirely depend on myself and view it was some kind of a test that I might fail. I felt that the devil always won in these cases. I had failed some kind of a test. I did in an indirect way (I didn’t ask for help); but I think I either had some kind of lesson to learn or I was inadvertently making the devil happy. Often it is the little things that bring us down. I don’t think the devil likes us to be happy, without serious worries, and confident that we are okay. What do you think?
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Be Careful, Before You Make a Judgment, Or Form An Opinion
Looks like she loves making judgments!
Be careful before you form an opinion or make a judgment as you just might be wrong. Do you have all the information? Whose side are you on? Does that distort your perspective? Have you ever done this and found out later that you were wrong? Remember the saying, “Don’t jump to conclusions?”
You Might Reveal Your Own Dirt!
The judgments that you make are pretty revealing not so much about the other person, but about you. Do you really want to make that mistake and reveal that much about your own shortcomings and not the other person’s? The common error that philanders often make is to accuse their spouse or significant other of running around on them. The accusations that they make about the other person, reveal so much about them. The details are often very descriptive about what is actually happening with them. How else could they know so much about what happens in such relationships?
Prying Eyes
I once had a lady in church who accused me of not taking care of my kids and disrupting the service. Her first thought was not to give me (my husband was not there) some help taking care of the kids, two toddlers, and a baby; but what a fine job she had done with her’s and how her children would never have disrupted a church service. This is a kind of a mystery but it can be solved using the advice that I gave above. What had she experienced bringing up her children that caused her to be so sensitive to the “misbehavior” of mine?
Needs Writer’s Block
Recent “fake” news often gives a one-sided story and jumps to conclusions before all the facts are in. To top it off, they rarely publish a correction when more information becomes available. Do you want to put yourself in that position? Gossip 0r unsubstantiated conclusions can cause irreparable damage besides making you the teller look like a fool. Or even revealing your own personal biases. Rose-colored glasses often aren’t the ideal prescription for viewing life nor are dark colored lenses which are usable for sunny days only.
Where’s The Lottery Ticket?
A strong desire to be helpful can also get in the way of knowing the actual truth which can potentially turn out to be embarrassing. Like famous people with publicity agents, families can often put out what they want the public to know about a family tragedy or life-changing event. You could wind up with egg on your face if you initially take the initial “publicity release” as the whole actual truth rather than what they want you to know for the time being. A massive lottery win is often kept quiet so that the winners are not taken advantage of by opportunists. Could you think of other examples?
This will make some juicy gossip for someone!
Don’t be so taken in by the desire to be in o the gossip that you make one of the above mistakes. Better yet, wait until you know the truth. Then you can decide whether to share it with anyone or do anything. Of course, there are always emergencies where you must make split-second decisions without out all the information about what is going on. This can be embarrassing if you make a mistake or horrific if you pass up this opportunity to help when time is of the essence.
Has the post made you think? I hope so. Can you think of any other occasions when these things might happen?
“GOOD” VS. “EVIL”
“GOOD” allows people to make choices and encourages them to do this. With the “GOOD” side, you have the right to make your own decisions (i.e. Mahatma Gandhi). 
The “EVIL” side does not encourage making choices. There is only one choice and that is the one that “EVIL” supports. They ignore or hide any information that does not support their side.-
“Let me see here,”
“GOOD” encourages acquiring knowledge about both “GOOD” and “EVIL” and everything in-between (which should mean it encourages debates) and wisdom is frequently the result.
“EVIL” does not encourage acquiring new knowledge that conflicts with any of the “EVIL’s” doctrines. “Evil” usually wants people to wear blinders just like horses used to do.
“GOOD” wants everyone to know all the truth and broadcasts it across the earth for everyone to know. -
The People Of The Lie Are Excellent Manipulators Because they Have No Consciences
“EVIL” maintains there is only one truth, it’s truth. They often portray themselves as exclusive societies (Scientology for example?). When their real goal may be to take over the earth and eliminate or subjugate those who don’t believe as they do and/or those they deem as inferior and incapable of absorbing and comprehending their beliefs.
“EVIL” often maintains secrecy and feels that they have something which enables them to have powers others don’t have.
Whose weapon is “doubt” “GOOD” or “EVIL”‘s? When “EVIL” competes with “GOOD” they try to encourage them to become doubters. 
“GOOD” wants the “Good News” to be broadcast to everyone and everywhere. “EVIL” often presents itself as an exclusive society.
Now can you tell the difference between “GOOD” and “EVIL”? Or do you want to or do you even care?
Which one, “GOOD” or “EVIL”, does not want you to be able to tell the difference between them and often presents itself in disguise as the opposite one?
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Shame & Blame! How to Play The Game And Not Be Played!
How many of us do not know how to play the game of shame and blame? Many of us. We can easily be used to feel at fault for somebody else’s action. To them, it is a game to easily revert the responsibility for something that they could get caught for doing to you. Or vice versus. They could also make you feel bad for them when they have gotten caught doing something that they want you to perceive as really doing something good.
Blame is when the responsibility for doing something bad is attributed to someone and then because of this, they should feel ashamed for having done something. This can be “tricky” when it involves you and you don’t know what is going on. It is the “do-gooders” that can be easily be caused to feel ashamed. The “bad people” often use this trick with “do-gooders” and they don’t even know it. ” They are too busy apologizing and attempting to rectify their “mistake”.
When feeling ashamed whether they should or not, people try to forget the act related to having felt ashamed (which is sometimes called repression) or hide it (see https://myeverydaypsychology.com/hiding-shame-based-interactions/) or they get mad and attack the person making the claim mentally or physically or they accept the blame or some of the blame and “feel down” about what they did or did not do. These are SHAME SHIELDS, presented by Brene Brown, Ph.D. in a free continuing education seminar, “On The Armour, We Use To Protect Ourselves And Why It Doesn’t Serve Us”.
Children are not pawns. Their needs are! more important than yours. Unless you are prepared to give instead of receive, probably you should not have children. You need to put their needs before yours, even if you are inconvenienced, have to make some sacrifices, and don’t immediately get reinforced. Done right, it pays off in the long run with children who have good values shown by the ability in most situations to support themselves, raise good children (if they have them), and being able at some point in their lives be able to thank you for doing this.
On the one hand, she might have a good reason, on the other hand…
Often the first move of these people is to blame you or others instead of themselves for the thing they have done or for something you actually might think you have done in order to deflect responsibility for their own behavior. This person can often get mad very quickly before you or their victim can have time to think and can be made to go on the defensive. This deflects or reflects the responsibility from themselves to you or to someone else. They are often very good at this so don’t be fools and see the blame as being on you or someone else instead of them.
Have you ever lost an argument this way? Or have you ever won an argument this way? This generally leads to mass confusion on somebody’s part and on the part of some people who hear about this agreement. The feeling of shame usually immediately follows and can last for days, months, and even years. I had a stepsister-in-law who was an alcoholic and called up her mother when drunk to blame her for all the things that had happened to her because of her own behavior, not really her mom’s behavior.
Sometimes she looked like this to me.
She browbeat this woman for things she couldn’t control like this woman’s husband deserting her with three kids to support and raise in the Depression. This woman was so good at transferring the blame that she was lethal and our children were not left alone with her unless a responsible adult was also there. Even then, they didn’t need to hear the things she had to say so they were kept away from her as much as possible. She could also play the game of feeling “hurt” when this became obvious. P.S. Occasionally she handmade some dolls for our children and they still have them so it wasn’t all negative
Shame can be an immediate feeling of feeling bad from one part of the brain, the amygdala
which responds quickly, without thinking, like this cat with road rage.
It is responsible for emergency bodily responses and probably responds before a person has time to reach the part of the brain that wonders why they feel bad (or good). Remember the times that you thought you didn’t have time to think and just responded. I am not chastising you for feeling immediate shock or grief in certain tragic situations. Sometimes feelings are part of a bodily response that enables you to respond quickly in an emergency.
Have you ever been played like a piano in one of these situations where “shame” or “blame” comes into play? Sometimes someone else does it and sometimes you do it to yourself often based on old scripts in your mind based on past experiences. My script is that I have done something wrong that I didn’t know was wrong at the time. It could be something “stupid” or “thoughtless” or something that a person got really mad about although I couldn’t have done anything about it at the time.
People can thoughtlessly ruin relationships in this way. Maybe they think that 
they are in competition with someone like me for the desired person’s love or loyalty. I can feel really guilty at the time and grieve for the loss of a crucial relationship apparently someone else coveted. I can not help but think the person involved with my friend never knew and/or felt that she had done this and was to some part responsible for my loss and my friend’s loss too. (This is also a form of drama and I have written about this elsewhere in my blog. See also a book by Doreen Virtue, Don’t Let Anything Dull Your Sparkle: How to Break Free of Negativity and Drama, ( A writer who writes about things like drama in a way that is easily understood and covers a lot of material about the subject. (See also one she has written one eating disorders, The Yo-Yo Diet Syndrome: How to Heal and Stabilize Your Appetite and Weight) As with many good writers you may not be drawn to everything she writes but also she writes on other subjects that could be of personal interest to you. See also, The Courage To Be Creative: How to Believe in Yourself, Your Dreams, and Ideas, and Your Creative Career Path by Doreen Virtue. The content of which seems to parallel the origins of my interests in writing. Both by Doreen Virtue at Hay House publishers.
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Hiding Shame Based Interactions
How often people use shame to get other people to do what they want them to do. Shame is a gut-based reaction that can bypass the forebrain’s common sense and leave a person helpless to figure out what really caused it. You don’t just feel bad when this happens to you feel really bad and usually also guilty too. “Shame on you.”
Shame is often how the victim of abuse feels. This keeps them from getting angry at the abuser and why they often don’t talk about what happened either. Shame doesn’t go away. It stays. The only way it can disappear is if the victim tries to forget it.
When Is Reassurance Necessary?
This is why abuse victims often say that they don’t want to talk about it because they have tried to forget it and talking about it might bring it back. If there are witnesses, they might think they are crazy because they might remember something about what happened; but the victim won’t talk if they ask them what happened.
What if your memory is, “Don’t hit him; hit me.”? You know who the likely abuser was because you were there too. It makes you feel crazy as the witness as you are the only one who wants to or can remember it. “I don’t like to think about things like that anymore” is his response. “I try to forget things like that.” “I don’t want to bring it back.”
Feelings of shame can do that to a person. They might cause the person to feel the pain again both physical and emotional. If a person feels that they might be made to feel shame about something; they won’t tell anyone who might do that to them.
Prevent Child Abuse With the Truth
The cases of sexual abuse by famous people that have come to light have brought it back out in the open. I know I can now say that I am the victim of sexual abuse even though I might not elect to tell you the details because I didn’t do it. The abuser is the one who ought to feel ashamed, not me or anyone in one in the same situation. However, this still happens in countries or religions where they have things like Muslim Surhea law and the rape victim gets killed not the rapist.
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If You Don’t Want To Do It, Don’t Say, “Yes”, And Then “Gunny Sack” It!
Many people play games and if they win, they can say, “Gotcha.” This first happened to me when we had our first child and my husband’s aunt volunteered to come with me and the baby to a specialist in St.Louis. Later I learned from her that she was just being nice and didn’t really want to do it. Sometimes I can be very independent because of this Catch 22. Especially when it winds up in the gunny sack which will be opened up at a later date and used against me!
Also, beware of narcissistic sociopaths and borderline personality disorders as they can manipulate you too. You will wind up taking the blame and the perpetrator will wind up smelling like a rose and be one up on you too. For these people lying is their favourite sport. They like to see how easily they can take you in and leave you in the dumpster.
Worse yet they can cause your friends to think bad of you while they get accepted as the “real” victim, not you. Initially, they can get you to care about them and take their side, but they are just as phoney as a three dollar bill. You know how poison ivy can spread? This is worse because you can never get over it. Accomplished liars are good at telling the “truth” and leaving you, not them in the lurch, And if they are good enough, then they can take all your friends away and make them their friends!
They can use anything such as a “fake” conversion experience to get you to take their side initially and to be considered to be a loyal friend by your former friend or friends. “The devil made me do it,” is an honest reason for doing this but they would never admit it. A good liar manipulator is often so good at this because they don’t really have a conscience to bother them like you do.
A family member like this aimed to put her stepfather in the nursing home so she could inherit. A stroke of luck as she died before he did. Sometimes I feel life is a snake pit and you always have to be on the lookout for snakes which might bite you.
The fraudulent manipulators never seem to get the blame; they just get the goods and take off with them. It can be very difficult because you may be the only person that sees through them. Good Luck!
It’s Their Drama, Not Yours
I learned a valuable lesson today: “It’s Their Drama, Not Yours! I’m a fixer-upper by nature and it doesn’t hurt that I am in a helping profession. “Did I hurt your feelings” Whose feelings are they? “You should have known in the first place that I didn’t want to do it!” “So why didn’t you let me off the hook?” Am I a bad guy because I should have known that even though they said,”Yes,” They really didn’t want to do it.and they felt it was an imposition.
Now whatever you do, they get mad because you couldn’t read minds. They take that load off their shoulders and put it on yours. Now you end up feeling bad instead of them. It is like a sudden rainstorm landed right above your head and you get soaked. They wind up feeling better and you have accepted a part in their drama that you really didn’t want and really didn’t earn.
What if you had a really good time and thought they had too. Whose fault is it? It’s not yours and why didn’t they “fess up earlier that they didn’t want to be there. Imagine you cooked a really good meal from a recipe you found and wanted to try and felt you had successfully mastered a good meal. Then someone tells you that there was something in the meal that caused an untoward reaction in them and you should have known it would, but they didn’t remind you and ate it anyway.
Another person who ate the meal smiled and said that they liked it but really they didn’t like casseroles as they were a meat and potatoes type of person. What happened is that you fixed a nice meal for a couple of ingrates. What a waste of time! and now you get mad when you didn’t feel bad before. Is it catching? Drama attracts drama. Sometimes no one is happy unless no one else is happy.
Is drama a disease? Sometimes it is not so bad when the contagion involves happiness and success. How about learning that someone is going to have a baby. Whoops there was one person in the crowd who is childless and unable to get pregnant or better yet did successfully have a baby by in vitro fertilization and then lost it to SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). This can be a wet blanket and the person with the news now feels bad that they even mentioned it in front of that person.
Some people even stage a situation so they can create drama. This woman had a display of fragile glass perfume bottles on a coffee table and almost the first thing that she did was to call the toddlers present attention to it and if they would not have touched the perfume bottles in the first scenario; but they will now. Possibly it will result in a broken bottle or two, maybe the most expensive ones. The payoff in drama is superlative and the instigator is super comfortable in her innosence, but the others don’t know how she did it or even that she set it up.
See the previous post, “Leave the Drama to the Lama”. Feelings can be catching; but often not in a good way. Have you ever left a group when an argument became heated. Some of these situations can leave you shell-shocked with PTSD (post-traumatic stress syndrome). This is what makes soap operas so exciting. What will they stir up next? Calm down. Go listen to some soothing music, take walk in the park. Make a quick exit back to where you are feeling good again. If someone had a bad cold would you stand close to them, kiss them or maybe even drink out of their glass. You wouldn’t expose yourself to that so don’t expose yourself to somebody’s drama.
Sometimes drama is fun like in movies or books; but you know it is not really happening in front of you. You might get scared, laugh hysterically, or even shed a few tears but you know down deep that it isn’t real. If you tend to take some things seriously, then you might avoid certain types of stories. Me, I don’t like horror shows. There are enough really scary things happening in real life. Has anyone followed the news lately?
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How Men And Women Differ On The Subject Of Sexual Harrassment
Men do what women consider to be gross things and some men go so far as to think that women are asking for it. Ugh (my comment as a woman). Ick! Men like to think that women think like them. It makes it easier for them to sexually harass women because then they can think that women are asking for it. This makes it easier for them to do things to or in front of women that are actually disgusting to most women.
I have been shown Play Boy center foldouts and asked to be present when a psychiatrist does a physical exam on male patients so I could do the mental exam. I was not a nurse or physician. I have been invited back to see a therapist that I had seen so I could let him know how I was doing. I opened the door and he had set up his office so that I could join him on the floor and make out. Where had I gone wrong or where had they gone wrong. I was shocked and didn’t know what to say. I am telling you this because I shouldn’t have felt ashamed and kept this quiet for many years. Where did these men come off by doing this? P.S. I was also groped on the Grey Hound bus by the guy seated next to me when I was trapped by him in the window seat.
Men can spend hours talking about women who they think have led men astray. Maybe it was the other way around. Women’s reputations have been tarnished this way. Men’s reputations are not tarnished this way, they are seemingly enhanced. If women fooled around as much as men think they do, they wouldn’t have time for anything else. Most women usually have so much to do involving working, taking care of the home, and caring for children, when would they have time? When could they sneak away to do this?
I think most of this goes on often only in men’s minds and they think that women must think like they do. If this is so, then they think they are justified in acting on it. If a man is running around on a woman, then he often thinks that she must want to do the same. This then justifies their wanting to do it more.
This does not forgive women who use their sexuality to entrap men and use them. This has led to men (especially in conservative circles) not wanting to be alone with women unless their husband is around or they are with a group. What do you think? I think most women will say that they would “like” to be with a certain movie star or music star, but often that is far as it goes.
Often women have trouble accepting their sexual attractiveness and they sometimes “dress down” and use little or no makeup because of this. This can spoil whatever appropriate sexual relations that they have with a man with the women not feeling sexually attractive or even sexually attracted to their partners. Women’s sexuality is often fragile and easily tainted this way. While many men have rehearsed the sexual act both in their minds and in actual self-stimulation. Having sexual thoughts seems to be more acceptable for men.
There is a form of child sexual abuse where a mother may flaunt her sexuality in front of her young son both by having open sexual relations with a man in front of him and by displaying her body to him by having little or no clothes on. This can lead to fondling of the child by tempting the boy to touch her and cuddle with her?!
Education is important. We need to know what is appropriate and not appropriate in the sexual realm. No education does not keep children and some grownups safe and sound. Ignorance is not bliss in many cases. When it is found inappropriate, the victims should know that they should speak up and to whom they can do it. When I was harassed above, I initially had no idea of what to do, I felt shamed, and I kept the secret to myself for a long time.
Notice there are no pictures illustrating this post. I do not want to promote anything by having what might be considered sexually explicit pictures.
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Are You Pineing For A Punk?
What First Attracts!
Are you pining for a punk? You might be if your story is part of the content of a scandal sheet. Being recently confined for illness, my friend gave me a buch of scandal sheets. Whether I knew them or not, I found a common theme, recent breakups and connections between famous people. They have everything, shouldn’t their relationships work out?
How they treat each other is outrageous! When under the influence of first Love, it appears that they can’t see straight! Faults are glossed over and relationships are formed immediately without much time to get to know the other person, faults and all. They have the ways and means with which to get over involved. Common sense goes out the window. When things come down crashing down (reality rears its ugly head), there is surprise and obvious grieving for something that wasn’t to be in the first place.
Falling in love is not supposed to be a revolving door. Test the waters and see if you want some more. In these relations ships, it is just too easy to leave and find someone else eager to be the new LOVE. Doing this seems to mean that the new person is some type of winner and not the loser they might be. Just because you are choosy doesn’t mean you are a loser because someday you might pick the winner and avoid messy relationships with people that don’t go anywhere.
FAME ATTRACTS!
Fame, money are very attractive. Yet somebody with a great talent may not have much to offer other than that. It is hard to mix that kind of glamourise life with success in the real world. Whatever attracted him or her to you might wear off and leave you high and dry. Cheating proliferates in this type of world and is supposed to be tolerated complete with possible STD’s.
The Missing Link
Relationships turn into a kind of a game with one-up-manships proliforating. Security does not exist and when a crisis occurs, the sufferer is usually left high and dry. What do you want a glamourse red carpet evening dress that you have to be sewn into or a practical comfortable attractive outfit that you can wear over and over? Relationships are that way too. Even though he or she is not to your taste and you are not his or her taste, doesn’t mean you are a failure. You both just avoided a big mistake.
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