Why Does The Victim Often Have More Trouble than the Offender?
Here I am in trouble again and you may often find yourself in this type of trouble too. The offender gets out of trouble by blaming the offender. Such as they deserved it. They were so stupid that they deserved to lose to me. Why should they trust people so much? If caught often the punishment does not equal in cost, inconvenience or shame what the offense cost the victim. Often victims have to take on the role of being a damaged person whose repair is difficult, often incomplete and leaves scars.
I am a sexual abuse victim. Even the word victim is personally damaging. I didn’t ask for it but I got it anyway or will get it for sure if I tell anybody like I am doing now. I didn’t realize until the first time I felt a sexual response while making out and it went away. I tried many ways to fix this without any luck and I live with it. Also once a victim, always a victim.
I had a therapist who once called me sexually appealing which made me uncomfortable at the time. At the end of therapy when I was moving out of town he invited me back to let him know how I was doing if ever I was in town. When I came back, I found out that he expected me to have sex with him. I remember nothing that happened after that. Boy was I naive and became a victim again. Now I know why I never felt I was sexually attractive because that was dangerous. It took away from my self-esteem. Now does that mark me as someone to be exploited?
I was considered a behavior problem in grade school. Was I reacting to being sexually abused? I had all men teachers at the time. The best year I had was with my only woman teacher! In those days no one considered the fact that I was a problem because they didn’t know what to do with me. In fact, at graduation, I wasn’t made the valedictorian because of my behavior so I said I wasn’t going to graduation if they didn’t. We compromised, I got the award for the highest grades in the class instead. I think I was one of the first people to threaten to boycott my graduation. Also, I was told I would never make better than a B in high school; however, I graduated high school as my class salutatorian.
I was also bullied in high school on the bus and nobody did nothing about it. I did nothing to deserve it. In fact, I tried to spend my time reading to the little kids on the bus. I ended up not riding the bus. I also was a member of what I called the “out” group the members of which including me all sat in a group in the auditorium. We all there for different reasons, the country kids (but that was not my reason to be there), the less intelligence kids, etc. I was there just because I didn’t make into one of the uppity groups who snubbed us.
In ending, I would like to say that from my point that I became a victim for other people’s enjoyment at my expense. Victims of crimes also seem to get not fully repaid for their losses caused by those who victimize. Victims of break-ins often never feel comfortable in their own homes again.
What are the losses, peace of mind, monetary especially the extra cost of legal fees, medical expenses, the cost of different kinds of therapies needed? Also, the inability to have normal emotional responses again, the ability to trust people, tragic memories or the loss of memories of things that happened, fear of getting in certain situations again. What of these expenses does the offender ever have to pay and does the suffering of being caught and having to pay for these offenses ever catch up with them? Remediation often doesn’t really pay for the offense or it cannot occur for some reason such as the death of the offender or the offense is not considered a crime.
Avoiding Road Rage And Not Just On The Road
It makes sense if you see someone coming toward you looking like an impending thunderstorm that you should avoid them if you possibly can, Do you want to get wet especially when they don’t make umbrellas to protect you from this type of storm. Sometimes all you can do is to not agitate them and try to get away as soon as possible.
For example,I had a woman who was checking me out in Wally World and I had many items and I needed a little help; I knew that she didn’t like this and that the skies were getting darker and darker. I also needed someone to help me take my groceries out to the car, but I also knew that I probably shouldn’t ask her right at that time so I didn’t and as I pushed my cart away from the checkout station, I spotted a more likely associate further away from where I had checked out and asked her to help me.
Another problem is letting someone’s facial expression upset you or influence the way you feel. At a play or in a meeting, do you let the way someone looks at the play or in the meeting cause you to change your mind about the play or about what is going on in the meeting? Do you let somebody else’s assessment change how you think about something? Do you get less enjoyment out of the play or do you feel that the meeting is promoting better ideas than you thought it was doing. Are you independent or do you feel less sure of yourself when it comes to the judgment of what is going on around you? Do you unconsciously tune in to what is going on around you and lose your self-confidence about what you are thinking or feeling?
Good And Evil Revisited, Part 3
I am sorry that I am a little bit behind. I had surgery and it took me a little bit of time to recover.
Evil has no compunction against saying those who are Good are beneath them and are stupid, ignorant, and easily manipulated by both sides when Evil masquerades as “Good”.
Unfortunately, some of the Good are really part of the Evil ones and only are pretending to be “Good” so they are able to accomplish Evil things. This happens when values deteriorate from concern with doing Good only and with helping others in need of salvation or in need of having their basic needs met. 
See Maslow’s basic hierarchy of needs. Perhaps a social need is for a church to have their worship in a cathedral so everyone can see how well they are doing in their search to glorify God. Also they “need” a bigger church to safely accommodate their large congregation which is a safety need in the hierarchy. This can often subvert the direction of a church i.e. from housing or feeding the poor to building on to their church unnecessarily. 
Many feel good for example when they have a showplace of a church like a Cathedral. Are they actually “Good” or are they approaching being Evil? i.e. “Look at me. Look at my church.”
A Concerned Pastor, Might He Have This Problem In His Church?
For example, have you ever even a woman or a man entering a church with a scowl on their face and they appear ready to criticize something at any moment. In the long run, such people may eventually split the church over doctrine or acceptable values which they piously conceive as Godly.
Hugging, even shaking hands, or friendly greetings to strangers are not present in these churches and it appears that these members of the congregation would appear very uncomfortable doing these things. Attire is either formal or does not permit certain hairstyles and types of clothing especially not wearing shoes or hats or head coverings which the disciples didn’t do. In some places, people think that they can’t go to church because they have nothing to wear, clothes that are threadbare or shoes that are scuffed and worn and either too little or too big. If I stay home on Sunday due to my disabilities acting up, I do not have to dress up. I do catch at least one sermon on TV when I do that.
Values are deteriorating to fame and recognition, power, wealth, and a much higher standard of living including gold faucets providing high-value items, more opportunities, and living in restricted areas. Also, such people might have multiples of items where an ordinary person might only need just one or a few. There might be a corner on the market of beautiful things even by the most of those who consider themselves “Good.” For example, the price of a fine thing can match a working person’s salary for one year.
Where do you go when you have done everything and seen everything? Do you consider other people evil because you think they have not worked hard enough to get to the place where they can look down on others like themselves? Reading the Bible and applying what it says possibly goes by the wayside unless there are some books of the Bible or some particular verses that match what these people righteously think. Was the Bible meant to be read in all its parts and also applied in all its parts? Probably. But when an effort is made to read and apply the values presented here, such an effort is acceptable. There are other volumes which elucidate a value system but they must be evaluated by the heart and not just the mind.
Who do you look up to? Does what they do and think to justify following them. Most of us have a conscience and we know when we are doing what we know somewhere deep inside it is not right. Too often we don’t speak up because we have the idea that other people are better qualified or more powerful than us. (See my post on The Little People.) This is the reason for a democracy. You have the right to vote. Use it. I will make an independent vote for governor this fall as I consider neither the current Republican Governor or the Democratic candidate for governor worthy. I hope enough of us poor little voters will do this to make our opinion known. We do not want to be ruled by Chicago which we would be in Illinois if we voted for a Democrat or if we reelected the current governor who has the state broke, that probably wouldn’t change. If you are in Illinois, vote for the independent Kash Jackson and show the state that many of us do not want either the Republican nor the Democratic candidate.
Values in the discussion of Good and Evil, do no good unless you live them even if it is difficult. Do you have your own mission statement declaring what your purpose in life is and how to follow it? Also please remember fighting within the Church most often is a grab for power; the righteous have different concerns. The same type of things goes on in corporations. Only even more complex. Have you ever been asked to do something basically illegal at work? Would you give up your job for your values?
Continuing The Series On Brain Plasticity By Guest Author Anna Kucirkova
Ways To Harness Plasticity
With the right circumstances, the power of brain plasticity can help adult minds grow. Although certain brain functions decay with age, people can tap into plasticity and refresh the brain.
Targeted brain plasticity exercises help to keep our brains fit. Even those suffering from brain damage may be able to retrain their brains for better function. The key is identifying what brain functions to target and how to best exercise them.
Researchers suggest that there are various methods of harnessing brain plasticity:
Intermittent Fasting
The Society for Neuroscience suggests that fasting increases synaptic plasticity, decreases risk of neurodegenerative diseases, promotes neuron growth and improves cognitive function. When you fast, a metabolic shift reduces the body’s leptin levels. Thus, the brain receives a chemical signal for neurons to produce more energy.
Travel
Traveling encourages neurogenesis by exposing your brain to new, fresh, and complex environments. Paul Nussbaum, a neuropsychologist from the University of Pittsburgh explains, “Those new and challenging situations cause the brain to sprout dendrites.” And a week-long tour of another country isn’t necessary to get this benefit; take a weekend road trip to a different city.
Use Mnemonic Devices
Memory training promotes connectivity in your brain’s prefrontal parietal network and can slow memory loss with age. Mnemonic devices combine visualization, imagery, spatial navigation, and rhythm and melody, so they can reach various parts of the brain simultaneously.
Learn an Instrument
Musicians’ brains show sharp connectivity between brain areas. Neuroscientists explain that the multi-sensory experience of playing a musical instrument allows for the association of motor actions with specific sounds, and memorizing visual patterns leads to new neural networks being formed. As you practice a new instrument, the repetition will allow for neuroplasticity to do its work.
Non-Dominant Hand Exercises
Using your non-dominant hand during routine tasks can help form new neural pathways. Doing this strengthens connectivity between your brain cells. Studies also show that non-dominant hand activities improve emotional health and impulse control. Try switching hands during some simple tasks and give your brain a test.
Read Fiction
Studies show increased and ongoing connectivity in the brains of participants after reading a novel. Enhanced brain activity occurred in the brain area that controls physical sensations and movement. Scientists explain that reading a novel can be a physical transportation into the fictional world. Shifting into this mental state is crucial for learning how to have complex social relationships.
Expand your Vocabulary
When you learn new words, the brain’s visual processes, memory processes, and auditory processes activate. The smaller your vocabulary, the more likely you are to have poor cognitive skills.
Sleep
Studies show that sleep “helps learning retention with the growth of dendritic spines, the tiny protrusions that connect brain cells and facilitates the passage of information across synapses.” Getting 7-8 hours of sleep each night will help the brain retain information.
Try at least one of these ways and disprove the old idea that we lose brain function as we age. The last part of this age will be published next week.
It’s Just Me! Discovering Myself And Ridding Myself of Shame, Blame and Guilt
My happy face anyway!
I have discovered an energy type system which I have followed for a long time now but I had not really found the type of energy that I personify and did not see how the system could help me understand myself and how I could present myself as an example of a type of beauty that would give me a special glow that would attract compliments and increase my self-esteem. Initially, I picked the wrong type and although I felt some benefits when I accepted my scatter-brained side of myself and realized I was more of an idea type person than a planner; but then my real self came through and I saw that I am more a motivator who likes to see something come through so I can see the finished product. The best example is how and when I pursued a professional degree so others could see how motivated I was and how far I would go in pursuing something.
This started when I finished grade school and decided to take college prep classes and to get the highest grades in high school I could get so I could go to a good college and get a scholarship. I also pursued this goal to prove to my fellow students and teachers and myself that I had what it takes. This continued in college because I wanted to get into a doctoral program to pursue a doctorate in clinical psychology. Those goals I pursued continuously for ten years. I also then completed two years of postdoctoral studies in child clinical psychology and after working for two years in my field, I also completed the studies for and passed my state licensing exam as a psychologist.
My next set of goals was to have at least three children which my husband and I accomplished within four years. This was done by the age of thirty-nine for me and forty for my husband. You can see that I can set goals and reach them. Just recently the number of our grandchildren reached ten another goal.
Writing this blog was a surprise for me later on in life and I also have started to occasionally sing hymns in church acapella. I found that I was also comfortable teaching lecture classes in psychology. This is the way I represent a Type Four, but I still have secondary traces of Type One as I often have too many irons in the fire and I often multitask keeping too many irons in the fire. Today I deviated from working on bills to writing this post. I also want to hang some posters and pictures on my walls especially on the walls in my office which I have as yet to unclutter, but I am working on it.
Stylewise I am edgy and look best in some darker jewellike colors and in dramatic and edgy styles. Hairstyles require some movement and often streaks or patches of color or highlights. Jewelry too needs to be edgy, often angular and somewhat bold. The latest good thing about the whole energy thing is I have started to get some compliments from strangers so far all women.
I have found out that where I have had trouble in the past was where I was trying to go along with some other energy type which didn’t suit me and therefore I had difficulty doing it successfully. I am not a totally well-organized type of person and as I have said before is that I would write the term paper first and then write the outline. Also, the types of clothing worn successfully by other energy types do not suit me and make me look bad. For example, hunting for a suit for job interviews I found very challenging and difficult to do and the suits that I found never really suited me so I was never confident that I looked well and that my outfit was appropriate. This definitely was a “no-no” when it came to how I presented myself for a job interview.
Recently I have started wearing shorts again in place of capris or crop pants and I am feeling more comfortable doing this. I do have to be sure that the shorts are Type Three, a little rough around the edges. They can’t be flared, a little ruffly or a soft faded Type One or Type Two color. I have to also avoid black or whites which are Type Four. I am also considering dresses or skirts again in my type.
Look up Carol Tuttle, Dressing Your Truth, on the internet. She also has some books which will help you. Also, she has written a book about children’s energy types, The Child Whisperer. She has a solid background in counseling which is reassuring. You can get some color and pattern cards which will help you select clothes. When I have a solid before and after pictures I will publish them here. Remember part of finding your helpful energy type is when you find that it works and you can type in successes and failures related to your energy type and then it feels right. This doesn’t always happen immediately but when it does you will know it. For example, I have always liked statement pieces when I go out to buy jewelry and I usually don’t feel dressed until I have a necklace or bracelet on.
The Devil Made Me Do It
Haven’t you heard that before? Is it really the devil or are there self-defeating thought patterns that cause you to make a mistake, a big mistake.
Then when you are fired, have a traffic accident for which you are considered to be a fault, or blow it somehow and lose a relationship, you are initially entirely mystified as to how you could have fallen into that predicament and until the shock wears off, you are thinking, “Hey, what did I get into? How did that happen? Who, me?”
When the initial blankness wears off, next you face the consequences which can be overwhelming. “Me, how did I get pregnant?” “How will it change my life?” “What happened to my car?” “Is anyone hurt besides possibly me? Will I lose my license? How will I ever find another job with this on my record?”
Decisions may also have to be made at the moment which you might or might not regret later. You can possibly become defensive and whatever the consequences of your decisions you can and will defend them. You can then can become “Mr. or Ms. Neverever Wrong” and this too can prevent you from learning from your mistakes.
You may also have to come to some conclusions which you may regret later. Did you intend to do it or did the devil make you do it? You don’t have to be Christian to think this, but it helps. You may say that you won’t have any regrets because whatever happened, it wasn’t your fault and get yourself lost in denial even if it is not what actually is found to have happened. Sometimes reality can become really, really hazy when this happens.
You can see how your self-concept can keep you from seeing or acknowledging your mistakes and how valuable life lessons can be lost this way. Recently I had a conflict with a friend and lost my relationship with her. I didn’t know it at the time that the heat was getting to her worse than I knew and I was more concerned about my own ability to handle it. I learned, as much as I didn’t like it, that I was not acknowledging the signs she was giving me about her own deteriorating physical wellbeing.
I had had a long-ago lesson ( that pertains to the above situation) where an aunt of my husband’s who was helping me get my baby to the doctor in a far away city didn’t really want to do it and I learned that she really wanted me to read her mind when she said, “Yes” and she really meant, “No”. I was hurt when I found out that she felt I had taken advantage of her and was mad about it.
My husband’s aunt got really mad at me like my friend was when she had heat prostration. I learned that I had to read minds and therefore read between the lines when I was in certain situations even when I was not told something. It initially exasperated me, but I eventually got the hint. It was a very expensive lesson when I also learned that my friend and also a close friend of hers were very mad at me and did not want to communicate with me. Again they felt that I had taken advantage of her and was insensitive.
I certainly was part of the problem; but what if I considered that the devil made me do it. I am sure he would be happy creating conflict among people and making them behave less like a Christian. In the Lord’s prayer is the line,”and lead us not into temptation”. We need to keep on our guard as hurt feelings and confusion are a potentially bad mix. It has caused me a lot of grief. Can you conceive of the devil enjoying this?. I can think that is what God meant when he gave Christians this part of the Lord’s Prayer.
For a long time I was very rational about this part of the Lord’s Prayer and I didn’t think I needed pray it because I always knew what I was doing; but then sometime’s I made some dumb mistakes. For example, one was making a left-turn onto a four lane highway holding my fast food that I had just bought in one hand. I totaled my new car and wound up driving a used Cadillac. I always wanted a Cadillac but not that way. Who was at fault? me? God? or the Devil?
Also sometimes I have been very dense and as a result get caught in the same situation over and over. Was it my fault or the devil’s fault? I felt very strongly that I had to solve my own problems and often was confused in certain situations when I did not catch onto to what others’ wanted of me. I knew I was not meeting their standard’s but I did not know why. I was not getting their hints; but it was not malice on my part.
I have a little true story about me that illustrates this that I might have used in some other of my posts. My lady supervisor at a clinic told me that I had an odor problem. This was confusing to me because I was a regular bath taker, used deodorant, frequently changed my clothes, and washed those that needed it or sent them to the cleaners. Needless to say, I immediately either washed all my clothes or had them cleaned; but the odor persisted. It was very embarrassing and the staff felt like that I had some kind of problem that I wouldn’t admit like to being homeless or living in a dive and had no plumbing. Later I figured out that it was a perfume that I was wearing that didn’t mix well with my body chemistry. I stopped wearing it. Problem solved. But that never did connect with what the staff was thinking.
As a Christian, I latter learned to call on God especially for problems that I couldn’t solve and not to entirely depend on myself and view it was some kind of a test that I might fail. I felt that the devil always won in these cases. I had failed some kind of a test. I did in an indirect way (I didn’t ask for help); but I think I either had some kind of lesson to learn or I was inadvertently making the devil happy. Often it is the little things that bring us down. I don’t think the devil likes us to be happy, without serious worries, and confident that we are okay. What do you think?
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The Word Ambiguity Is Ambiguous-Curious? Read This Post
Many people have difficulty tolerating ambiguity. This may be just why our nation is so polarized right now between the left and the right, Trump haters and Trump supporters.
Actually, ambiguity is often the state of knowledge. We just can’t get a clear picture of how things are and just when we do, we find out something new. Young twenty-somes often do not feel comfortable with ambiguity and this is the reason why many of them are seduced into cults which claim that they have all the answers like Scientology.
Boundaries can be ambiguous
I am satisfied that I don’t know all the answers and that some answers will never be extremely clear although they may become clearer over time. I believe that I don’t know all the answers and that I won’t know all the answers in this lifetime. People who do not believe this way makes me very nervous as I don’t totally agree with everybody and everybody doesn’t agree totally with me.
College was the place where my fellow students were encouraged to disagree and to debate many points of view unlike most of the students of today who are reinforced for accepting the beliefs of certain professors who are deemed politically correct.
Gaining in knowledge should encourage surprises and new
Self-Styled Expert?
ideas not consistently reinforce all beliefs presented or taught. Science should constantly explore and evaluate conclusions made from current experiments and past knowledge. Many scientists often currently skip the phase where they develop a naturalistic understanding of the area of knowledge that they choose to evaluate. This often involves acquiring personal experience which has been typical of anthropologists in the past who went out to live among a people that they proposed to study. First-hand experience can sometimes be better than book-learning.
The Best Child-Expert
How many child psychologists have ever had first-hand experience bringing up children? or have spent time playing with them after they themselves have entered high school or college? Getting down on the floor and participating in a child’s imaginary world is often different from observing and taking measurements from an experimental psychologist’s perspective. I especially like to have the child have me draw a picture of an experience he or she has had. Also, suits and ties and tight skirts and high heels get in the way of making these observations.
I once was a participant in setting up an experiment about snake phobia. I was not
She appears SCARED!
particularly worried as I didn’t think actual snakes would be used even though I was snake phobic and didn’t tell people because they then would surprise me with one of the real snakes used in their experiments. I knew that when I saw someone carrying a shoe box in the rooms where my fellow students had study carrels there usually was a snake in it and I would leave the room without saying anything.
After I was strapped into a recliner with leads for physiological responses in a room with no windows and the only door behind me, and shown slide pictures of snakes, I was told this was when the actual snake would be brought in a glass aquarium from behind me. If this had happened, I (or any real snake phobic) would have gone “ape-shit” and that would have been the end of the experiment and the start of a lawsuit if I and/or they had survived.
No one knows everything and we never will. We just have to live with ambiguity in our lives. Concrete knowledge is desired and claimed by some, but can not usually be true in actual reality.
Is this Green?
Another supposedly concrete example of ambiguity is the spectrum of colors. The is no such thing usually as a pure color and the changing fashions in fashion design and interior decorating illustrate this. For example, a color of green that is fashionable in yarn for crocheting and knitting goes out of style and it goes on sale. Someone making items from this yarn for sale at craft fairs might not get many buyers. This color of green no longer is fashionable. Or pick up an old or vintage handmade throw at a flea market and it might not go with the things you currently have where you plan to use it. Did you know that the color green or other primary colors can be ambiguous?
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Be Careful, Before You Make a Judgment, Or Form An Opinion
Looks like she loves making judgments!
Be careful before you form an opinion or make a judgment as you just might be wrong. Do you have all the information? Whose side are you on? Does that distort your perspective? Have you ever done this and found out later that you were wrong? Remember the saying, “Don’t jump to conclusions?”
You Might Reveal Your Own Dirt!
The judgments that you make are pretty revealing not so much about the other person, but about you. Do you really want to make that mistake and reveal that much about your own shortcomings and not the other person’s? The common error that philanders often make is to accuse their spouse or significant other of running around on them. The accusations that they make about the other person, reveal so much about them. The details are often very descriptive about what is actually happening with them. How else could they know so much about what happens in such relationships?
Prying Eyes
I once had a lady in church who accused me of not taking care of my kids and disrupting the service. Her first thought was not to give me (my husband was not there) some help taking care of the kids, two toddlers, and a baby; but what a fine job she had done with her’s and how her children would never have disrupted a church service. This is a kind of a mystery but it can be solved using the advice that I gave above. What had she experienced bringing up her children that caused her to be so sensitive to the “misbehavior” of mine?
Needs Writer’s Block
Recent “fake” news often gives a one-sided story and jumps to conclusions before all the facts are in. To top it off, they rarely publish a correction when more information becomes available. Do you want to put yourself in that position? Gossip 0r unsubstantiated conclusions can cause irreparable damage besides making you the teller look like a fool. Or even revealing your own personal biases. Rose-colored glasses often aren’t the ideal prescription for viewing life nor are dark colored lenses which are usable for sunny days only.
Where’s The Lottery Ticket?
A strong desire to be helpful can also get in the way of knowing the actual truth which can potentially turn out to be embarrassing. Like famous people with publicity agents, families can often put out what they want the public to know about a family tragedy or life-changing event. You could wind up with egg on your face if you initially take the initial “publicity release” as the whole actual truth rather than what they want you to know for the time being. A massive lottery win is often kept quiet so that the winners are not taken advantage of by opportunists. Could you think of other examples?
This will make some juicy gossip for someone!
Don’t be so taken in by the desire to be in o the gossip that you make one of the above mistakes. Better yet, wait until you know the truth. Then you can decide whether to share it with anyone or do anything. Of course, there are always emergencies where you must make split-second decisions without out all the information about what is going on. This can be embarrassing if you make a mistake or horrific if you pass up this opportunity to help when time is of the essence.
Has the post made you think? I hope so. Can you think of any other occasions when these things might happen?
“GOOD” VS. “EVIL”
“GOOD” allows people to make choices and encourages them to do this. With the “GOOD” side, you have the right to make your own decisions (i.e. Mahatma Gandhi). 
The “EVIL” side does not encourage making choices. There is only one choice and that is the one that “EVIL” supports. They ignore or hide any information that does not support their side.-
“Let me see here,”
“GOOD” encourages acquiring knowledge about both “GOOD” and “EVIL” and everything in-between (which should mean it encourages debates) and wisdom is frequently the result.
“EVIL” does not encourage acquiring new knowledge that conflicts with any of the “EVIL’s” doctrines. “Evil” usually wants people to wear blinders just like horses used to do.
“GOOD” wants everyone to know all the truth and broadcasts it across the earth for everyone to know. -
The People Of The Lie Are Excellent Manipulators Because they Have No Consciences
“EVIL” maintains there is only one truth, it’s truth. They often portray themselves as exclusive societies (Scientology for example?). When their real goal may be to take over the earth and eliminate or subjugate those who don’t believe as they do and/or those they deem as inferior and incapable of absorbing and comprehending their beliefs.
“EVIL” often maintains secrecy and feels that they have something which enables them to have powers others don’t have.
Whose weapon is “doubt” “GOOD” or “EVIL”‘s? When “EVIL” competes with “GOOD” they try to encourage them to become doubters. 
“GOOD” wants the “Good News” to be broadcast to everyone and everywhere. “EVIL” often presents itself as an exclusive society.
Now can you tell the difference between “GOOD” and “EVIL”? Or do you want to or do you even care?Which one, “GOOD” or “EVIL”, does not want you to be able to tell the difference between them and often presents itself in disguise as the opposite one?
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If You Don’t Want To Do It, Don’t Say, “Yes”, And Then “Gunny Sack” It!
Many people play games and if they win, they can say, “Gotcha.” This first happened to me when we had our first child and my husband’s aunt volunteered to come with me and the baby to a specialist in St.Louis. Later I learned from her that she was just being nice and didn’t really want to do it. Sometimes I can be very independent because of this Catch 22. Especially when it winds up in the gunny sack which will be opened up at a later date and used against me!
Also, beware of narcissistic sociopaths and borderline personality disorders as they can manipulate you too. You will wind up taking the blame and the perpetrator will wind up smelling like a rose and be one up on you too. For these people lying is their favourite sport. They like to see how easily they can take you in and leave you in the dumpster.
Worse yet they can cause your friends to think bad of you while they get accepted as the “real” victim, not you. Initially, they can get you to care about them and take their side, but they are just as phoney as a three dollar bill. You know how poison ivy can spread? This is worse because you can never get over it. Accomplished liars are good at telling the “truth” and leaving you, not them in the lurch, And if they are good enough, then they can take all your friends away and make them their friends!
They can use anything such as a “fake” conversion experience to get you to take their side initially and to be considered to be a loyal friend by your former friend or friends. “The devil made me do it,” is an honest reason for doing this but they would never admit it. A good liar manipulator is often so good at this because they don’t really have a conscience to bother them like you do.
A family member like this aimed to put her stepfather in the nursing home so she could inherit. A stroke of luck as she died before he did. Sometimes I feel life is a snake pit and you always have to be on the lookout for snakes which might bite you.
The fraudulent manipulators never seem to get the blame; they just get the goods and take off with them. It can be very difficult because you may be the only person that sees through them. Good Luck!
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