Do you have chained emotions? Yes, you do. Every time you get to feeling guilty, worthless, or hopeless when you look at something or think of something. These are learned reactions and while they might have been appropriate when they first occurred, they are not helping you now. I can leave the moment and ruin the day I am having when I do this. I also can just let my imagination run away with me and after living in the past and reliving past disappointments, I can envision myself in the future having the same unfortunate things happening to me again. No wonder I just can’t see any hope for me in my situation. I can easily list the things that I can think of or see in my ordinary life or on TV or the internet that do this to me. I have frustrating appliances that are on their last legs and feel extremely deprived because I don’t have new ones and anticipate the problems I will have when they “conk” out.
You have heard of self-fulfilling prophescies well I am creating them when I think this way. I may feel bad when some “bad” thing happens but why does just the thought of something like that happen to elicit such a strong emotional response. In psychology, it is called conditioning and it’s a learned response associated with a certain stimulus. When this happens then whenever that stimulus appears again real or imagined, we automatically have that response. What we focus on we get. That is a self fulfilling prophesy.
Stop feeling what you don’t want to feel, stop being dragged down by past emotional reactions. For example with a failing appliance, be thankful that it still works and lasted so long. Be grateful for every extra load of dishes that get washed or cup of coffee that gets made. Pretend this is not really your house so it doesn’t matter what the appliances are like. Think of how much nicer the new appliances will be when you get them. They will be spanking new, work perfectly, and save you lots of time. You can get just what you want. Go shopping but only with a positive attitude. You know it pays to shop around. Who knows you might find a bargain! Remember that new car smell, the pristine appearance of a newly painted wall, how much fun you will have trying out a new appliance. Focus on this not on that.
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