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Centerpointe Research

Don’t Let The Bastards Get You Down

If you don't see your worth, you'll always cho...

If you don’t see your worth, you’ll always choose people who don’t see it either. When your self esteem rises, your life follows. -Mandy Hale (Photo credit: deeplifequotes)

Don’t let the bastards get you down.  Sorry for the language; but this stirs up feelings in me.  Do you have guilt switches?  I do and they seem to get turned on automatically.  I suspect that they go back a long way in my life.

Self-esteem should be considered something that is to be reinforced and not torn down.  Without it, we can do nothing.  Guilt attacks self-esteem and demolishes it.  It can demoralize a person.

self-esteem

self-esteem (Photo credit: Key Foster)

We all want our children to have everything; but something that we often miss is self-esteem.  Little ones are easily bruised and even though they heal quickly at that age, repeated attacks on their self-esteem can at the very least leave a mental scar.

Guilt creates a conscience most people think and therefore it is necessary to help children grow up right.  Guilt is also a way of establishing control over someone and may not necessarily be in the best interest of the person who develops it and feels it

Some of the happiest times in life are spoiled by guilt.  Have you ever enjoyed something and then somebody or something made you feel guilty about it?  If you have spent the money, devoted the time and effort to do something, should you then not enjoy it?  There is a name for such people, “spoil sports”.

Enjoying life should be for most people an inalienable right.  Feeling guilty and therefore miserable is not the way to live life.  Most of us are more concerned with what other people think than we need to be.  Have you ever opened your mouth to take a bite of something that you have been wanting for a long time.  Then you think something or someone says something about it that causes you to feel guilty about eating it and then it doesn’t taste as good?

Learning theory makes the case that positive reinforcement given intermittently gets the most positive results.  Punishment of the unwanted behavior as compared to reinforcement of the wanted behavior is the least effective way to establish it.  How does guilt work do you think?

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