Expect Less, Get More

The holidays carry a strange risk. The bigger your hopes going in, the harder the fall when December 26th arrives and everything feels flat. That slump after the celebrating stops is real, and a lot of it traces back to what we demanded of the day before it even started. One antidote: pour your attention into people rather than objects. Kids and pets will entertain you in July just as well as in December, though fair warning, the holiday chaos tends to bring out their worst.

Assume the children will unravel a little. They skip naps, stay up past any reasonable hour, and wake at dawn because missing a single sparkle feels unbearable to them. Gifts pile up past the point of enjoyment, and then come the squabbles over who owns what. All that excitement frays the edges of good behavior. Even house-trained dogs and potty-trained toddlers can backslide when the house is buzzing. Plan around it instead of being blindsided by it.

Stretch the festivities across several days if you can rather than cramming everything into one overloaded afternoon. Think about inviting someone who otherwise has nowhere to go. Stash a few of the new toys out of sight and reintroduce them in a week or two, once the shine has dulled on whatever stayed out. Line up an outing for the lull after the holiday: picking out a pet, maybe, or spending a gift card. And if the house empties out once the guests head home, set aside one small pleasure to carry you through the quiet.

Trim the plans and hand off some of the work. Brace for the small catastrophes. With little ones coming, it pays to childproof the rooms, the decorations, and the tree, at least enough to cut down on breakage and tears. Young children need watching, constantly, and someone has to do it. Accept that going in and you won't be bitter when the grown-ups don't get to linger over the celebration. There are people for whom an evening of free babysitting is the finest present you could offer.

Often the most valuable thing you can hand someone is your attention. Hosting or visiting, the point is the same: show up and actually be there. I went to a Christmas program a friend had organized not long ago. I didn't know a single child on that stage, but I watched, I listened, and I took it in. Afterward she told me how much it meant to spot one familiar face out in the seats while she performed.

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