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Centerpointe Research

Fight Now? Rather Than Later?

In an ongoing relationship that might become Permanent.  Learn to have your disagreements now rather than after you get “hitched”

I don’t mean that you won’t still fight when you are further along in your relationship; but some earth-shaking confrontations by either partner is better now then later when your sense of security might mandate that you don’t rock the boat and have those quarrels.  “Maybe it will just go away” is not a practical approach to settling differences.

Hopefully your disputes will turn into full-blown confessions of what you really want and don’t want in life and some talking about how to accomplish these things if you decide to make the choices necessary to do them.  Things like children, religion, settling down and staying in one place, finances, or intimacy and sexuality.  It just won’t go away.  It will just get harder to do after you have invested more in the relationship and have more to lose such as security, material objects you have mutually invested in, and time with and your ability to exert influence over what happens to your possible children.

It is better to stand your ground sooner than later.  You will have less to lose and probably more to gain.  Sometimes it is like trying to catch a big fish.  It will be wonderful if you catch him or her; but the process in eventually catching a big fish also involves losing a few along the way.  People often talk about the one that got away.  Maybe it was too big for someone like you to reel in.  Ever order a big steak and were unable to eat it all?  Maybe you should have had something smaller and maybe enjoyed it more without getting stuffed.  What is a “catch” for one person may not be a “real catch” for another.



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