Fool Me Once, Shame On You; Fool Me Twice, Shame On Me
Do you believe what he's telling you? Learning to read people matters, and it matters at any age.
I once sat through an interview with an FBI director as he was being considered for the job. He said precisely what the people across the table wanted to hear. Nothing spontaneous came out of him. He stayed guarded, careful, closed. A director worth having would chase down the things that surface unexpectedly and act on them even when the action draws fire. This man played it safe at every turn, and to my eye that made him useless. You could watch it unfold in the way he handled the questions.
Nervousness is the next thing to clock. Someone on your screen keeps glancing down, away from the lens. They tap a pencil, they fidget, their face tightens into a grimace. Ask yourself how at ease they seem with what they're doing. If the setting is one where anyone would feel the pressure, then a little strain is fine.
When a stranger turns warm on you fast, stop and ask whether they have a motive. A car salesman or an insurance agent has a reason to charm you. Start out wary. That goes double if you come across as lonely or uncertain, because that makes you an easy mark for a con. I know, because I'm one of them. Flattery and promises can bend a person. A car salesman I bought my first car from talked me into lending him a thousand dollars. He never paid it back. So yes, I can be played, and I suspect some of that ties to bipolar disorder, which I only recently learned I have.
What you see isn't always what lands in your hands. When something looks too sweet, slow down. Don't swallow a person's pitch whole. Don't act needy or rush to say yes, because your eagerness is exactly what the other person is hoping for. Salespeople turn into skilled actors. They make friends in a blink. Walk into any sale with your guard up and watch how the person moves and responds. Some things really are too good to be true. How keyed up is this person? Are they actually looking out for you, or just themselves? Are they sincere? Why the hurry to close? What's behind that anxious edge?
Watch for the jitters. Watch for someone who seems a little too thrilled that you might say yes. Watch for twitchy gestures in a moment that calls for plain honesty. And be careful when it's obvious a person is performing, feeding you the lines the situation seems to demand.