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Centerpointe Research

Have Your Boundaries Been Crossed?

Cover of "Boundaries (Fireside/Parkside R...

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Men, have you ever been kidding a woman you had thought that you had known well and had what amounted to having your face slapped?  Did she get very quiet, refuse to help you anymore, or{ taking it to the extreme) call the  manager or the police?  Did you feel initially that your behavior was appropriate  and not in bad taste?  Women, have you wound up in a situation you didn’t intend to get into and (in an extreme cases of misunderstanding) been “” date raped“”?  Crossing someone else’s sexual boundaries unintentionally or unknowingly letting your own sexual boundaries  be crossed, can be signs that you learned inappropriate sexual boundaries and/or you had your sexual boundaries inappropriately crossed  as a child  leading to problems identifying sexual limits in  others and in establishing them for yourself.

Some sexual abuse is only partially remembered by the victims and some do not remember it at all.  Worse yet, victims  may not categorize some behaviors that they experienced as abusive especially when they do not know that sexual boundaries have been crossed.   Either parent can cross these boundaries with a child of either sex.  It has been said that sometimes it is physical abuse as a child that is easier to deal with because it leaves visible marks and sexual abuse as a child (as well as emotional abuse which will be a later topic of this blog) that  is harder to deal with because it usually does not leave marks.  Just saying, ”’No,”” is easier said than done.  Abusers count on child victims to not believe that they can not safely do that.

Thus you may have had your sexual boundaries crossed as a child and not known it.


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