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Centerpointe Research

How People Try To Control Others When They Can’t Control Themselves

What do you think?  Are you in control of yourself?  Big job, isn’t it?  Do you have some habits that take control?  Eating?  Sleeping?  Golf? Watching sports?  Hunting?  Not controlling your temper? Hogging the electronics or the laptop?  Being unavailable for conversation or socialization because of this?  Gossiping? Seeing others as sexually promiscuous?  Perceiving others as using too much foul language?  But not yourself?

Do you have someone bossy in your family that almost always gets their way and others often agree to do what they want in order to keep the peace?  It is an interesting idea to see these people as not in control of themselves and to consider the idea that they either don’t know it or they don’t admit it?

Golly, there is so much to control as an everyday human and things can get out of control real fast like addictions, laziness, focusing solely on one’s career and letting other things like socialization go.  Do we try to control others because we can’t or won’t control our own selves?

The Bible says to get the pebble out of your own eye before trying to get rid of one in someone else’s eye. I grew up with a very controlling and complaining parent.  We never talked about what he or she did wrong, just what was wrong with others.  Gee, this person is starting to look like a saint.  As a Christian why would one require salvation if they never did anything wrong, just other people?

Remember whatever you might complain about in another person might be something actually that you have little control of in yourself.  Beware the biggest controller might not be the other person; it might be you.  My controlling parent actually kept on trying to control me after I had gone on to graduate school, gotten married, and moved away from home.  I feel that person could have pulled food out of my mouth if he or she thought it wasn’t good for me to eat.

The worst conflict that we had was when I made the decision to get a divorce from my first husband.  When I told this parent this, it was all about how the divorce would make this parent look and how it made this parent feel.  I received no support from this parent and I cried so hard that I had to go into the shower and turn it on to drown out the sound of my crying and wash away my tears.

Then when things got tough in my second marriage, this parent was more concerned that I might move back home with the children and become dependent on this parent than this parent was concerned with how I would cope with them if I had to do this. Then I realized that this parent again was more concerned about herself than she was about me.

Learning to control yourself is a life long process and most people? might never accomplish this. Sometimes it is easier to just control others and how they effect you than it is to work on controlling yourself first. Manipulating others sometimes comes easier to do than taking charge of yourself and what you tend to do unbridled. MY WEBSITE WAS OUT OF COMMISSION FROM AFTER THIS POST WAS WRITTEN UNTIL SOMETIME IN MAY DUE TO TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES.

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