Judge Not That Ye May Not Be Judged, Condemn Not That Ye Not Be Condemned

The Bible cautions us against condemning other people. What gets forgotten is that the same warning points inward: don't condemn yourself either. A lot of our misery starts the moment we pile up expectations, this long list of standards we feel obligated to meet. Ask yourself whether you bully the person in the mirror.

Many of us rush to criticize ourselves before anyone else gets the chance, including God. And once we slip up, we refuse to cut ourselves any slack. We become our own harshest critics, handing down the verdict before a jury is even assembled. So what does all of it accomplish, the self-condemnation, the judgment we brace for from everyone around us?

Part of the problem is a conscience that has grown too sharp. We sharpen it precisely to head off criticism from others. You might catch yourself pausing at the mirror on the way out the door, checking for anything that could draw an unflattering comment, trying to beat others to the punch. Praise, meanwhile, tends to arrive rarely, even when it's earned. There are days when silence is about the warmest response we can hope for.

People need warm fuzzies, not cold pricklies. The cold ones at least prove somebody noticed us, I suppose. You know the feeling: a party in full swing, everyone leaning into their own conversations, and you standing there half convinced you've turned invisible, that nobody has registered you're in the room at all.

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