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Centerpointe Research

Like Chewing on a Bone

The reviewing of significant events in one’s life is often done over and over like a dog who burys a bone only to dig it up later and chew on it again.  It may seem like the process is never complete but if new material is discovered that changes the picture or a different point of view is found, it can be very helpful.  What is disconcerting is to find out that knowing what you do now you wish you hadn’t done or said something about that situation in the past.

This is often the process in psychotherapy.  The same problem can come up again and again at different points in one’s life.  This often happens with sexual abuse.  Such an experience can effect several different areas of one’s life at different times.  It can effect one’s sexual relationships.  It can effect parent-child relationships.  There is also a possible anniversary effect when the child the same sex as you reaches the age you were when you were abused or when that child has contact with the same person or with someone in the same role as the person who abused you..

Problems that one had with one’s parents or other authority figures as a child can come up again and again in a person’s life time.  This is especially so if you or your child is put in that same situation again.  For example, when your parents need your help as they get older and more dependent on outside help is one such occasion or when your children have conflicts with teachers like you did as a child.

As time passes, there is the possibility of a change in perspective and with that a change in behavior.  For example, when one realizes that his or her parents were young and inexperienced when he or she was a child and couldn’t be expected to be perfect parents at that time.

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