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My Shopping Addiction

Having had my debts consolidated at least three times; you might have thought that I would have learned something.  Not true.  I lose track of how much money I have left in the bank; having a credit card can make it easy to put off paying for an item.  Then I  also didn’t share my problem with my family.  I was ashamed and also sneaky.  It was my problem so I had to solve it.

Since then I have learned that I was bipolar and just before that I finally admitted to myself that I have a shopping addiction and that it was uncontrollable on my own.  I also wondered how my bipolar disorder contributed to my shopping addiction.  Which came first the chicken or the egg?  The bipolar disorder or the shopping addiction?

Did the problem of keeping things in proper order cause my shopping disorder or did my desire to have stuff and not being responsible about how to pay for it?  I see something as being neat to have now and not worrying about do I have the money to pay for it without going over my bank balance and getting an overdraft fee or crating a load of debt on my credit cards with exorbitant interest.

I did not share this problem with my family as I wanted to solve this embarrassing problem myself and I didn’t want to hear the bad things they might have to say about me.  I was afraid that they might kick me out into the street.  They might talk to themselves about me and be friendly with one another but not me.  It was different than that.  They did gang up on me and I felt bad and they managed things exceedingly well and did things on the phone and on the computer that would have been hard for me to do.  I thought that they might kick me out of the family and have nothing good to say to me again but it didn’t happen.  They talked to me more easily and I could be more open with them.

I am still loaded up with paperwork, but I do feel some relief.  I admitted that I still wanted to publish my book but I said I would stick to the amount of money I originally gave to my publishers.  So I don’t have to sneak around to do it.  Everyday Psychology for Everyday People contains some of the posts that I have made on this website: but there is still plenty of material for more books, but let’s see how this one does first.  It is called, Everyday Psychology For Everyday People.

I am writing a follow-up on this post as I have more to say.  I will talk more specifically about what attracts people to different types of shopping addictions or just plain straight addictions.

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