Decisions made in the heat of the moment are often regretted. When you are overcome with emotion, you can sometimes make drastic, life threatening decisions. It is recommended when you have a big life stress or change, that you make no decisions at the time that can’t be revoked or changed later. For example, widows and widowers often rashly select a new mate, because they feel uncomfortable being by themselves after being used to having someone around to share the responsibilities of life. A home can feel very empty and a person can become very lonely. I can think of two widows I know of that did just this and ended up getting divorces even though they had both enjoyed long married lives with their first husbands.
Of course the emotions I am talking about are usually the “bad” ones, rage, anger, anxiety, fear, self deprecation, depression, or feeling suicidal. At the time, the person almost always feels cut off from other people and resources. Sometimes, I think almost everyone needs a therapist or a therapy group with a good leader. In AA, there are sponsors that alcoholics can call when they have an overriding urge to drink. Drinking is usually done to deal with uncomfortable emotions and though it might get rid of them for a time, they come back especially when and if the alcohol wears off. Please note that drinking is also done by people with poor social skills to make themselves comfortable and outgoing in social situations. The use of drugs and alcohol and other addictions can frequently be a way to self-medicate. They are a way to change what you’re are feeling at the moment, but they don’t last; and later the person feels that he or she has to self-medicate again.
Some potentially disastrous things a person can do when over come by uncomfortable or unacceptable emotions are murder, suicide self-injury, over indulgence in mood altering substances or activities which often create even more problems such as depleting resources needed for everyday living, interfering with necessary daily activities such as work, child care, etc., and causing serious health problems.
As important as learning skills to deal with emotions is, we do very little about it. We frequently leave people to suffer by themselves and to find their own inadequate, sometimes dangerous, solutions. Relaxation techniques, meditation, mindfulness,, anger management skills, all can be used. There are also many others that counselors recommend.
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