Quit Negating Yourself!

You know the moment. Something you'd love to have or do pops into your head, and before it even settles, you've already decided it won't happen. Then you go further and spell out all the reasons it can't. I catch myself doing exactly that, and far too often for comfort. Scoot over if you recognize the pattern, because I've worn a groove in it.

The idea gets talked right out of existence before it ever has a chance. Maybe you've read the books on positive thinking, flipped through pages on affirmations, and quietly concluded none of it applies to you. So when nothing shifts, you report back that you gave it an honest shot and it flopped. Vision boards, visualizations, the whole thing: abandoned. That stuff only works for Oprah, right?

Think about a time you designed something you really cared about. A dress for a particular occasion, say, fussing over the details, swapping this for that until it felt right. I used to do the same with plans for additions to our old house. We even built one of them. Later I shifted to studying double wides, poring over floor plan after floor plan, driving out to different lots so I could stand in front of the real thing. When we had to move, one of those is where I ended up.

These days the doublewide frustrates me in small ways, things I'd like to repair. My husband has his eye on an above-ground storm shelter built into a garage. Here's what strikes me: I already know the method that worked before. So I'm going to do the homework and draw up the plans for the changes we need. A few windows still want replacing, and someday I'd like to pull out the old picture window and put in a bay window instead.

We tend to burn far more energy arguing why a thing we want can't be done than we ever spend considering how it might.

Related