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Reframing

How often do you reevaluate your life.  Is it working for you?  Are you the same person you were ten or fifteen years ago.  Do your friends and family know the real you?  Do you know the real you?  Where did the old you go?  Do you have to remain the same to avoid upsetting other people’s apple-carts?  Do you have to remain the same to avoid feeling guilty about what you might have done in the past that you wouldn’t do now?  If I change, does that mean that more than half of my life or three quarters of my life or maybe just the first eighteen years was wasted doing the wrong thing.

Life is fluid and changes as you change.  You change as life changes.  Which came first the chicken or the egg?  Change is inevitable.  Even if you don’t change, you can’t stop others from changing.  The mother goes back to work when the children have all started school.  The father has a midlife crisis.  One partner is confounded by the other partner’s desire to split up and finds that the other partner has been living a secret life.  Even if you resist it, change finds you.

Maybe you change first.  Knowing what I know now that I didn’t know then, I can’t behave the same way this time.  There is a strong desire in some if not all people for consistency and order in life.  To avoid the anxiety caused by uncertainty, people often allow someone or something to dictate what they should do.  This is why many times that young people are susceptible to cults.  It has all the answers and they don’t have to think for themselves.   The military might also serve this purpose with young recruits.

Chicken Or The Egg

Chicken Or The Egg (Photo credit: Becky F)

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