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Resentments

Nothing Ever Hurt Like You

Nothing Ever Hurt Like You (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Every time you think of something, the connections in your brain are reinforced.  In the past I have written about gunny sacking and how other people do it, but we, ourselves,  do it too.  I remember clearly when someone has been unfair to me and can tell others about it over and over; thereby reinforcing the feeling of hurt that I experienced when it happened.  How do you get over something like that?  First you must decide that it is something that you want to let go of.   It might help you to do this if you realize that the person or persons involved have probably forgotten all about this incident and/or they didn’t even realize at the time that what they did hurt you or hurt you so much.

To forgive and forget is the end goal of this process but before we do this, we have to give up the rewards that we get out of playing the victim every time we meet someone who hasn’t heard our story.  Initially you might catch yourself in the act of eliciting sympathy from others with your sob story.  You might then apologize for playing “poor me” and excuse yourself for playing on the other’s sympathies.  The less you remind yourself of these past experiences, the less likely it is that you will bring up the story every time you meet some new person who hasn’t heard the story yet.

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