Rules To Become A Better Person
Someone once asked me what rules I keep for becoming a better person. I had already written out an answer on another site, so I went back to it and reworked what I had. A few of these stick with me without any effort. Others I tend to notice only after I've broken them.
First, I try not to hand down verdicts on people. That includes reining in the urge to criticize. The line from the Bible stays with me here: let the one without sin cast the first stone.
Forgiveness matters to me, and I mean the extreme kind. Letting go of every wrong done to me, carrying no grudges, holding onto no resentment. I push this as far as it will go, to the point of forgiving anyone whose actions have affected me badly, up to and including people who commit acts of terror.
When I hope for an outcome, I try to hope it works out well not only for me but for everyone it touches.
I'm working on cutting the word "should" out of how I talk. That one is really for my own sake more than anyone else's.
A good attitude toward life helps. I'd rather expect the best than brace for the worst.
Worry gets kept to a minimum. If I'm going to turn over a possible problem in my head, I want it to be so I can plan ahead rather than just stew.
I wish the best for other people, and for myself and the ones I love too.
People aren't the only things God made, so I try to treat animals, plants, and even the mineral world the way I'd want to be treated.
When good things land on other people, I want to feel glad for them instead of sour.
I try to read the kindest version of what's in front of me. That means not jumping to the assumption that someone acted out of some evil motive.
Fear and anger don't get to run the show. Taken further: I won't let fear freeze me in place, and I won't let anger curdle into something murderous.
Meditation is part of my routine, keeping the mind quiet and settled.
Along with that, staying open and never shutting the door on learning. You can't predict what you'll run into. I don't tie myself to one teacher or lock myself into a single spiritual practice.
Love others the way I love myself. Bless the people I meet and everyone who shares this place with me.
And love myself first, because if I actually do, the rest of these rules tend to follow.
Self-respect is in here too. To have it, I have to act and think and live as what I know, inside, I'm meant to be.
Self-discipline runs through all of it. Nobody else is accountable for my life or what I make of it.
Put differently: if I were God, what would I want myself to be? With God everything is possible. On my own I'm just a flawed creature.
I haven't kept any of this short or tidy, and I expect to keep turning it over and revising as I go. I'm not trying to be God. I'm trying to be what God would have me be, which happens to be the best thing for me anyway. Come along on this if you like, and maybe something here helps you with your own.
Love and respect and honor children, and don't leave out teenagers.
Above everything, no deliberate lying, by leaving things out or by making things up, and least of all to yourself, your partner, your kids once they're old enough, and your parents while you're still young.
I try not to file people into boxes by age, sexuality, background, money, politics, religion, or by what other people have decided about them. Back in school I made a habit of not just swallowing a teacher's reputation secondhand. The professor everyone warned me about often turned out to be exactly right for me. And whenever I do slot someone into a negative category, I somehow end up thrown into close contact with that very person.
Be discerning when you need to be. Just not quick to condemn.
The way I see it, we're all loved and accepted equally in God's eyes, and we all carry the same potential to live up to what's expected of us.