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Active, Passive

Passive Me, Aggressive You

Passive Me, Aggressive You (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Which would you rather be active or passive?  Passive lets other people determine things for them.  Active initiates projects.  Often in marriages, one person is active and the other person is passive.  This can work successfully for a time.  Then the active partner gets tired of making all the decisions and taking all the responsibility and the passive partner begins to resent being left out of decisions that affect him or her and having no say in his or her life.  What is very scarey is that when this situation gets out of hand it can lead to murder.  Now who do you think is the murderer and who do you think is the victim when this happens?   You did not guess wrong if you selected the active or passive partner for either role!

When things become one-sided, anger builds up and the passive partner decides to take action or the active partner decides that they are tried of taking care of their partner all the time.  The active partner feels that he or she has been doing all the work.  The passive partner feels that he or she never gets to do what he or she wants to do.  The active partner gets tired of providing for the passive partner and the passive partner feels that have to take what they get from the active partner and have no choice in the matter. Who’s in control? The active person or the passive person. Neither one. One has someone dependent on him or her which to some extent controls their life and one lets someone control their life. Also partners in different relationships can take different roles: passive in one and active in another.

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