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balance theory of self-esteem

Over rated? Undervalued?

Passenger oxygen mask deployment

Passenger oxygen mask deployment (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Are you over rated? undervalued?  By whom?  Yourself?  Family?  Society? People at work?  Your friends?  Stop and think.  What is your potential?  Are you thinking right now that the people who overvalue themselves or who are over rated by others are not reading this now?

Take a good look at yourself.  Who do you invest the most time in?  Yourself? Others?  Have you been encouraged to put others first? or do you put yourself first?  Remember the advice given on airplanes to parents, “Put your oxygen mask on first or you might not be able to help your child put on theirs.”

There is a name for those who obviously put themselves first most of the time and that is narcissists.  What do we call people who put themselves last?  Co dependents.  For them, everything depends on taking care of someone else’s problems.  Look up both categories.  Where do you fit?  Hopefully in neither category.  That is taking it to extremes.

There is such a thing as healthy putting yourself first and there is unhealthy putting yourself first.  Helping others rather than ourselves can lead to the unhealthy attitude that nobody cares about us.  Treat yourself and treat others the way you would like to be treated.  Make an example of yourself.  Do you wait for somebody else to do it for you?  Or do you never ever ask for help?  Remember those crime scenes where nobody helped the victim although they were witnesses to the crime?

Think for yourself.  Are you over rated or undervalued?  Do you over rate or undervalue others?  Do you undervalue others to the point that you only miss them when they are gone?  Do you so over rate yourself that nobody else really has such a high opinion of you.  Truly highly rated people are often humble.  Come look at yourself in the mirror .  What do you really see?  What do others see?  Does the image reflect back the true you.  Over rating or undervaluing yourself both come from the same place, low self-esteem.  Think about that.  The next post will be about the balance theory of self-esteem.

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