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Centerpointe Research

communication skills

In Sync?

5 Senses

5 Senses (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Continuing the discussion on the senses, Without A Thought, Effortless Living, ” if you use the same sense as your conversational partner prefers when talking about how he or she perceives things,  you will be more in sync with them and you will find that he or she may be more agreeable and more likely to accept your point of view.  This could be a very good sales technique and it is also used in establishing rapport in therapy or inducing trances, especially in a conversational style of induction.  In any relationship, paying attention to such things would give you a clue as to the type of activity or gift someone would like.  How about, “That smells good,” for example.  Makes you think of fresh baked goods or scented candles or perfume or aftershave.

As you grow psychologically and focus more on your direct experience (Ah la mindfulness), you will probably become more aware of your own sensory experiences.  Colors may become brighter; sounds, more noticeable; smells, more attractive or more obnoxious.  You may become able to create a more realistic experience when you imagine a restful scene when using relaxation techniques.  Start with your area of strength, usually the one sense that you use the most when describing things.  By doing so, you can get in sync with yourself and have a more intense experience when you do this.  The more of this you do, the better your visualizations (for want of a better word that would include the use of all the senses).

The Collection ('N Sync album)

The Collection (‘N Sync album) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Who Can You Talk To?

Problems????

Problems???? (Photo credit: simone|cento)

There is often a pattern in people’s lives that they follow when they have a problem.  For example, if you couldn’t talk to your parents when you were in trouble when you were young where could you turn?  Did the problem get worse as far as you were concerned because when your parents found out, you were in deep “do do”?  How insecure did that make you feel?  Were you just another unavoidable problem that your parents had to solve on top of what they were already dealing with in their own lives?  Was it also more important that what happened to you caused problems for other adults in authority that your parents recognized than that it caused problems for you?

Family and school can constitute  the whole world for children at certain ages.  If there is no sanctuary in either place, the world is not a safe place for children.  They feel very insecure and often can not tolerate rejection.  If they are lucky, they learn how to solve problems on their own, but this doesn’t always work.  It leads to keeping secrets that can be an awful burden to carry in some cases and doing this can sometimes actually make problems impossible to solve.  We all need someone to turn to in some situations and if we can not trust that person to help us solve our problem, it leads to rebellion, self-blame, and rejection.

We can also become handicapped in terms of our communication skills if we had no one to talk to when we had a problem.  If we think that any conversation about a serious problem can only make it worse, we might never ever have the experience of talking something out successfully.

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