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Three Things To Try From Deepak Chopra

Deepak Chopra

Deepak Chopra (Photo credit: JP Newell)

There are three things in life you might want to do to give yourself peace.  Stop attempting to control others.  People easily take offense when you do this.  Stop seeking other people’s approval; be self-motivated.  Don’t judge yourself or others.  Life is not a contest based on whether you win or lose.   The standards that you judge yourself or others  by can be very fickle. Taken from Deepak Chopra‘s material and expanded.

For example, in class when students asked for two smoke breaks during a three hour course, I initially thought to deny them that because they shouldn’t be smoking anyway.  I thought it would be better for their health.  But I did it anyway and cemented my position with the smokers who knew it was a bad habit anyway.

Seeking other people’s approval and getting it is impossible.  Like the story of an old man, a donkey, and a boy who were traveling along a road.  Everybody who came by had a different idea of how the donkey should be used, to carry cargo, to carry the frail old man, or to carry the young boy who might not be able to keep up.  The most ludicrous solution of all was for the old man to carry the donkey.  You can’t please everybody all the time.

Standards against which you judge yourself and others can change over time as you acquire new information.  Also it is a game of one-up-man-ship and frequently the person who is doing the judging is not faultless him or her self.  It is a case of don’t look at me; look at him.


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Letting Go of the Controller in You

What if 'PLE' stood for Personal Life Expectat...

The only person you can change for sure is you and this, more than likely, will change how other people react to you after you are no longer trying to exert control over them.  This effect is amazing once it starts.  Letting go of the need to control others rather than yourself can change your life for the good when forcing others to do what you want can’t.  (Of course, there are times in life such as when you are raising children  that you do need to exert control over others, but it won’t hurt to keep your cool and keep the force you use, if any, in doing so to a minimum.)

Expecting others in everyday life to always change for you is a big job.  It is often the origin of a lot of drama ending in tears and anger.  The frustration that is caused when you don’t get others to do what you want them to do can make your life miserable.

If you can get others to do what you want rather than what they want, you may be creating a time bomb that goes off when they realize what has been happening and they rebel.  Then you no longer have control over them and you  may even discover that they now have control over you.

Changing yourself is a project and only you know at first when you are succeeding.  You are the judge of the extent of your self-improvement.  For example, taking a positive attitude, rather than a negative one, when things don’t go your way is one way to improve yourself rather than others.  Another thing you can do is when others are judging people,  don’t join in with them.  Better yet, find something good to say about the person being criticized.  You may be surprised at how the atmosphere changes.




What if 'PLE' stood for Personal Life Expectat...
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