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Communication Blockers Part I

English: A child watching TV.

English: A child watching TV. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Being alone much more than some other people, I’d like to have somebody with whom to talk about my day.  I am going to talk about ways people keep from communicating with others, maybe, without even knowing it.

First there is the mail which grabs their attention then the TV.  Some people are not very patient about someone wanting to talk with them in the middle of a program.  Also there are people who are a double threat.  When the commercial comes on, they read the newspaper.  What they are communicating when they do this is, “Leave me alone, I don’t want to be bothered.  You are not important enough for me to pay attention to.”

Don’t forget telephone calls which must be answered right then no matter how long it takes.  What is really annoying is when you have been ignored, but he or she is happy to quit reading or watching TV to talk to someone else  and then gets annoyed if you try to interrupt them.

Sometimes when you get an “answer” it is more of a question putting you on the defensive wondering, ”      Why did I ever decide to tell him or her about this?” He or she might not like it if they find out later that it was about something important and they do not find this out from you. This person is  an “attack” mode when he or she does this and that makes you fearful of bringing it or anything else up again.

 

 

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Are You Invisible?

Invisible Man

Invisible Man (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

conversation between peers

conversation between peers (Photo credit: windsordi)

When you lack recognition for who you are and what you do, what happens?  Do you just fade into the woodwork?  Have you ever observed an interaction that you were involved in or thought you were involved in and found out that the other people were not looking to you for your observations on the conversation topic?  Or worse yet, have you observed that when you made a contribution to the conversation, that you were ignored or that someone else interrupted you and changed the subject and took over the conversation as if you really weren’t there?

People do this without thinking and often have not been aware of what they were doing.  You can help the situation by making eye contact with the participants and calling them out for what they are doing.  For some people it seems natural to monopolize the conversation and as long as they are getting their point across, they are not especially interested in what other people say or even notice that they are waiting for an opportunity to speak their piece.

You can win any competition, make the team, get an award, or land a special role in an artistic or musical production and  if no one acknowledges it by coming to the game, the award presentation, the graduation,  play, musical production, etc., it loses some of its luster if it has any left at all.  The more removed the spouse or the family is from what a person does to get an honor, the less chance that person has to feel successful in the endeavor and maybe the less motivated they are to continue to work at it.

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