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Take Your Own Advice! Nobody Else Can Use It So Well!

 

Road Rage As An Example

Road Rage As An Example

(Short;  but not too sweet.)

Do you ever listen to what you say to others?  Did you ever try to take your own advice?  What kind of advice you give can be very self-revealing.  Carefully done it is like looking in a mirror and seeing yourself reflected there, not someone else.

What are the problems that you see others as having that bother you the most?  Could it be very revealing to list them and see if you often have them too?  Make a list of the things that bother you the most.  Put them somewhere where you can look at them.  Either inside a cupboard door or the bathroom cabinet door  or out on a mirror where you will get a chance to look at it every day.

Ever hear someone say, “I don’t see why someone should do something or something should be done about that?, ” and it is clearly descriptive of what the person them-self needs to do or have done.

Don’t let yourself read this with a self-satisfied smirk as you apply it to someone else and forget who this is really about!  “You!”  Whose behavior can you really change?  “Yours!”

Mine is to tell the truth, sometimes the hardest thing for me to do, as I fear and think that I can’t handle rejection.  Why do we reject others, when we don’t want to be rejected ourselves?

It’s All About You

Thinking

Thinking (Photo credit: Moyan_Brenn)

I was raised to think that my first thought should be, “What will other people think?” when I did something.  I grew up thinking that “other people” were more important than me.  Yes, my parents were included in that important group of people that I should always defer to; but even my parents were not as important as “other people” were.

This continued on into my adult life as long as my parents were alive.  This was the main consideration my mother had when I told her that I was going to get a divorce.  She was more concerned with the stigma that being divorced would give me among her friends and family than she was with my well being.

Back when I was first married, I remember coming home to visit my parents by myself and I was wearing a brand new bright red maxi coat which I dearly loved and when it became time to go to church the next day, my mother said, “You are not going to wear that,” and she actually expected me to wear instead one of my old coats that I had left at her house.  I stood up for myself and I told her that I was not going to church if I couldn’t wear my new coat.

When I remarried and had children and we were visiting my mother and the other grandchildren were coming to visit too, my mother would become critical of my children and not the others.  We were glad when we could leave and escape being found wanting when compared to the rest of the family.  Oh, believe it or not, later after she died, my cousins told me that she secretly bragged on my children when we weren’t there.  I know she was raised to think that way and her growing up experience was not easy as my grandmother (her mother) was often sick and withdrawn from the family leaving her and her sister with the help of their father who had to work to  fend for themselves.  I am sure she didn’t know what to tell other people when they asked what was wrong.

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Letting Go of the Controller in You

What if 'PLE' stood for Personal Life Expectat...

The only person you can change for sure is you and this, more than likely, will change how other people react to you after you are no longer trying to exert control over them.  This effect is amazing once it starts.  Letting go of the need to control others rather than yourself can change your life for the good when forcing others to do what you want can’t.  (Of course, there are times in life such as when you are raising children  that you do need to exert control over others, but it won’t hurt to keep your cool and keep the force you use, if any, in doing so to a minimum.)

Expecting others in everyday life to always change for you is a big job.  It is often the origin of a lot of drama ending in tears and anger.  The frustration that is caused when you don’t get others to do what you want them to do can make your life miserable.

If you can get others to do what you want rather than what they want, you may be creating a time bomb that goes off when they realize what has been happening and they rebel.  Then you no longer have control over them and you  may even discover that they now have control over you.

Changing yourself is a project and only you know at first when you are succeeding.  You are the judge of the extent of your self-improvement.  For example, taking a positive attitude, rather than a negative one, when things don’t go your way is one way to improve yourself rather than others.  Another thing you can do is when others are judging people,  don’t join in with them.  Better yet, find something good to say about the person being criticized.  You may be surprised at how the atmosphere changes.

 

 

 

What if 'PLE' stood for Personal Life Expectat...
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