Discover our App

Centerpointe Research

Debbie Ford

Some Free Advice

the+true+secret+of+giving+advi-655I love you; I accept you; I praise you.  Can you say that to anyone? including yourself?

When something happens that I am concerned about, I pray about it;  I try to think  positively about it; and I tell myself that I will accept whatever happens.  That is my advice for the day.  I didn’t say it was easy; but it is all I can think of to tell myself to do.  It took me a while to get to this point and I am not completely there yet.  I often have to remind myself of my own advice.  In the past, I was worried that my prayers wouldn’t be heard; I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about the worst thing that could happen; and I had a hard time accepting if it did not turn out well from my point of view.

Often I have a hard time accepting the idea that if something is wrong for me, it might still be a good choice for someone else.  Sometimes people just don’t take my advice and they probably shouldn’t because they probably wouldn’t see it my way anyway.  If I won’t join or support a certain organization or they wouldn’t recommend that I go somewhere for vacation based on their experience of having gone there, maybe each of us anyway should make up our own minds for ourselves.    This reminds me of what I used to think when I was in college and taking classes.  It was that just because someone liked or disliked a certain teacher didn’t necessarily mean that I would have the same experience.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Giving Yourself Away


shadowself1Sometimes the things you do are giving yourself away.  All that advice you have for others.  What does it really mean?  Maybe you are telling others things to do which you really need to do yourself.  Do you ever gripe and nag?  Do you call people names when you get frustrated with them.  Maybe those are names that you fear others might call you.  You can attack your demons by examining the advice you give and the things you would like to change in others.  This leads us to our shadow selves.  A part of us that we are ashamed of, maybe the polar opposite of the way we like to present ourselves.  You can’t have one without the other.

Debbie Ford in The Dark Side of the Light Workers does a good job of  presenting these problems and tells stories about people who overcome their shadow selves and grow expotentially.  For example, my husband sleeps too much; he doesn’t get up and move around; and he watches too much TV even when he is sleeping.  What does this say about me?  Do I do the same things which I criticize in him?

Next step is that I like to give self-help advice.  Maybe I should spend some time working through my issues rather than just telling others to do it.

Enhanced by Zemanta

The Good, The Bad, And The Ugly, Our Shadow Selves

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is a well-known...

The Good, the Bad and the Ugly is a well-known spaghetti western (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The good, the bad, and the ugly sides of ourselves are reflected back to us in the mirror of life.  We all have shadow selves.  They are parts of ourselves that we often deny having.  When we are vehemently for something or against something.  This tells a lot about ourselves, especially what we are against.  What we are against reflects what we fear exists in ourselves, our shadow selves.  Read more about this in a book by Debbie Ford, The Dark Side of the Light Chasers.

What you absolutely can’t stand in someone else is what you absolutely can’t stand in yourself.  Control freak, narcissist, homosexual, you name it.  Anything that you dislike and can’t tolerate represents one of your shadow selves.  It is something that you fear that you might be or become.

Take the middle way as Buddha said.  Don’t give over all control to others and resent it.  Don’t always take control away from others and be hated for it.  Do everything in moderation.  Respect not only yourself, respect others too.    Spread love around but don’t forget to love yourself as well.


Enhanced by Zemanta