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drama

Drama Queen

The drama queen, everything is all about her (or him).  Get a new grandchild, all the pictures are of her holding the new baby.  The occasion might also bring on stories about her child’s birth and delivery instead of the new mother’s.  The outfit (new or old) chosen by the drama queen has to be worn home or to the christening.  When things don’t go her way, she can’t cope.  Sudden tragedies involving the drama queen’s family throw her for a loop as she hasn’t planned for them.  It is difficult for the rest of the family to concentrate on the victim (not her) and what actually needs to be done.

The drama queen has developed what she deems as the ideal scenario for her life:  loving, devoted husband; dream home; successful, supportive children who marry someone of the opposite sex and of the chosen racial and cultural background and have the requisite child or children of the appropriate sex or sexes.  Plans are usually not made for any deviance from this plan.  The chances that something like this will happen are almost 100%.  There is only plan A; there is no plan B, C, or D.

Most of the time the problems, not hers, that this causes are other peoples’ and they deal with them instead of her.  Total collapse can occur when she has to deal with her own problems and there is no one to do it for her.  For example, when she has to adjust to something like the loss of the mate she depended on and focused her life around.  The denial defense often used by the drama queens fails and reality hits.

Lisa the Drama Queen

Lisa the Drama Queen (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

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Holiday Drama

English: A Nuclear family, Image by FredCamina

English: A Nuclear family, Image by FredCamina (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Most people have great expectations for the holidays.  One thing that can cause problems with this is family drama.  Most people can not pick and choose who they are going to invite when it is a family occasion.  This means that there might be some people present who usually do not get along with each other.  This makes for problems.  Who among the family and extended family members is the most likely to take charge of the arrangements that day even though the celebration is going to take place at your house?  Who dislikes who?  Who can you count on to be civil?.  What topics of conversation probably should be avoided?  Who likes kids and who doesn’t?  This celebratory family dinner can turn into a minefield and could become explosive when least expected.

Lower your expectations for the big family do and have a separate celebration where you concentrate on your nuclear family and their and your desires for a happy day filled with your own traditions.  Wedding celebrations can be like holiday ones and often the couple does not get to have the wedding they want especially if no body else thinks (as I do) is that the wedding is all about the bride and her wishes and what her future husband wants.  Also in holiday parties as in weddings, count on at least one major thing to go wrong possibly even causing a catastrophe. That has been my experience with weddings. Problems can occur at the last minute such as no flowers, no ring, bad weather, etc. You can not anticipate everything that will happen.  If you can focus on just being together and not on the details, you will have a better time.  If someone spoils your dinner. remember he or she the one who decided to cause a problem, not you.  Don’t expect miracles and make adjustments, if you can, in your arrangements based on who is coming and what they might need.  I love little children, especially my grandchildren, but usually they can not be quiet and well behaved for very long.  Not everybody will like your food and some person or persons may have diet restrictions that you may or may not know about. Be prepared, not scared.

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Put the Best Construction on Everything

Yes Drama

Yes Drama (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Old sayings have their uses.  If someone fails to do something you thought they were going to do for you, you often think the worst of them.  That can hurt both of you.  It can lead to some major drama.  A surprise party planned where one is the guest of honor  initially looks like the event has been forgotten to the person involved.  There often is enough drama in our lives without us adding more to it.  An appliance needs a major repair or replacement; your child gets hurt at school; or you make a major miscalculation when you are paying your bills.  All of these things are frequently cause for drama, both real and imaginary, before the crisis is resolved.  Who needs more drama when you are not sure what is going on.

Thinking the worst about someone or something before you know what really happened is creating additional stress for yourself.  Yes, you should be cautious and wait until all the information is gathered before jumping to conclusions, especially if you might do something drastic if you don’t wait.  Of course, there are somethings that can’t wait when dealing with an emergency.  For example, if you think you or someone you know is having a heart attack, don’t be too quick to dismiss it as something like an anxiety attack.  You better be safe than sorry especially with heart problems.  The time span during which action must be taken in these cases is short.

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