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failures

Which Helps Us Grow Better?

Parenting

Parenting (Photo credit: Leonid Mamchenkov)

Mistakes? or Successes?

Current thoughts on child-rearing encourage giving children a lot of complements.  Yes, initially when a behavior is just being established, it can be shaped by rewarding approximations to the desired end behavior.  At some point, praise can become meaningless if the performance being applauded is mediocre.  This does not prepare a child for the real world where competition is stiff and you can not hold a job and not accomplish something that justifies it.

Making mistakes can be a learning experience.  Sometimes knowing what can make something go wrong is the key to success.  For example, one may have a beautiful recipe for a cake that gets rave reviews, but it is not known what makes this recipe successful until something randomly is left out or the amount of it is reduced or  increased and it fails.  .

This is often where the breakdown occurs between generations in a family business.  The parent or grandparent is perhaps even a genius at what he or she does and has gotten where he or she is by hard work and sacrifice.  The heir can not just show up for work with little knowledge of the business and no idea of what it takes to continue the businesses’ success and grow the business because if a business doesn’t continue to grow, it will start slipping and fail.  A person learns by experiencing not only successes, but also failures.  Sometimes other employees in the family business are afraid to tell the boss’s son or daughter that he or she goofed and that if he or she keeps doing something that way it will have an adverse effect on business.

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When Tragedy Strikes, Be Prepared

English: Harvard Medical School

English: Harvard Medical School (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Have you always pulled your own weight? Done things for yourself? Fought your own battles? Do you think it was worth it? Yes, it was. When tragedy strikes, you’ll be prepared.

Just imagine if you are going along in life and things have always gone smoothly for you and then something bad, really bad, happens, how well will you cope? I don’t wish you bad luck, but life is not always peaches and cream and if you expect it to be that way, you will be very disappointed when something bad happens and you can’t handle it.

Often misfortune has a way of giving you a chance to learn something and a way to see what you can do in a very difficult situation. Frequently something like this is not seen as an opportunity to grow and to learn new skills. You even might wind up changing directions in your life possibly for the better.

Life’s bad experiences have a cumulative effect and where you wouldn’t have known what to do if you had not had these problems, you do know now. Imagine being a new mother and your baby (your first) has the stomach flu with vomiting and diarrhea.  Now imagine yourself in the same situation later with  the baby as a two year old.  Wouldn’t you be better prepared to handle the problem if this child had had the same problem several times before.

You can be sheltered and cossetted in life and never had to deal with the problems most other people have to deal with by themselves; but it leaves you less protected from life’s major disasters in the future.  For example, if, in the past, you were finishing your internship and applying for a residency and you don’t get accepted to train at the only hospital that you had planned on attending. This hospital supposebly might have put you on a waiting list in case one of the positions opened up because one or more of the applicants had decided to go elsewhere. Meanwhile, lets say, you had not applied at other less desirable residency programs In those days there were no computer matching programs and different programs had different closing dates after which they would no longer take applications. Then you don’t get this one and you are still on the waiting list when applications elsewhere are no longer being accepted and now you have nowhere to go. The “waiting list” actually might have been a polite form of rejection. If previous experiences applying for school had taught you to have a backup plan and to apply at more than one place in case you don’t get accepted at your first choice, then you would not be surprised and be caught unprepared to apply elsewhere when it did not look like you were going to get your first choice.

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