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family fights

Holiday Drama

English: A Nuclear family, Image by FredCamina

English: A Nuclear family, Image by FredCamina (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Most people have great expectations for the holidays.  One thing that can cause problems with this is family drama.  Most people can not pick and choose who they are going to invite when it is a family occasion.  This means that there might be some people present who usually do not get along with each other.  This makes for problems.  Who among the family and extended family members is the most likely to take charge of the arrangements that day even though the celebration is going to take place at your house?  Who dislikes who?  Who can you count on to be civil?.  What topics of conversation probably should be avoided?  Who likes kids and who doesn’t?  This celebratory family dinner can turn into a minefield and could become explosive when least expected.

Lower your expectations for the big family do and have a separate celebration where you concentrate on your nuclear family and their and your desires for a happy day filled with your own traditions.  Wedding celebrations can be like holiday ones and often the couple does not get to have the wedding they want especially if no body else thinks (as I do) is that the wedding is all about the bride and her wishes and what her future husband wants.  Also in holiday parties as in weddings, count on at least one major thing to go wrong possibly even causing a catastrophe. That has been my experience with weddings. Problems can occur at the last minute such as no flowers, no ring, bad weather, etc. You can not anticipate everything that will happen.  If you can focus on just being together and not on the details, you will have a better time.  If someone spoils your dinner. remember he or she the one who decided to cause a problem, not you.  Don’t expect miracles and make adjustments, if you can, in your arrangements based on who is coming and what they might need.  I love little children, especially my grandchildren, but usually they can not be quiet and well behaved for very long.  Not everybody will like your food and some person or persons may have diet restrictions that you may or may not know about. Be prepared, not scared.

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