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fear

Fear Not There Is Nothing To Fear But….

Anxiety and Fear

Anxiety and Fear

Where do anxiety and fear come from?
They are a result of a person’s striving for survival.  Babies and young children are particularly vulnerable.  If their parents’ reject them, everything they need and come to expect in their life is threatened.  Parents are so busy telling children what to do, socializing them, and teaching them what to do that they neglect the child’s need for love and approval because they don’t want to spoil them.  Self assertion is seen as something children have to have drummed out of them if they are to become civilized.

We are anxious because we fear we will fail and as anybody knows, failure hurts and it eats at your very soul.  No matter how confident we are when we start out to do something, it only takes one dismal failure to stop us from trying again.  One dismal failure that you think you will never live down and you think that will effect your future forever.  All you have to do is believe that.

When you try again (and some of us never do), anxiety and fear will haunt you and eat at your self-confidence.  You don’t have to let it, but it is not easy to do.  In the excitement of getting a second chance, you let go of your worries and fly; but you soon will crash if you leave no allowance for the misgivings that will arise.  In today’s world, in this economy, many people are in this position.  Not having a job can make you unemployable.  This is impossible if you need to already have a job in order to get another one.

Dream the impossible dream and focus on what still might happen, the best possible outcome.  Is it that you’re not having had a job won’t matter because they are so interested in you and what you have to offer?  Don’t let the anxiety and fear that you naturally have in the situation keep you from getting the position and doing the best job you can.  You may not fail because you are a failure, but because you let it effect your self-confidence too much.

 

 

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Success and Fear

the-greatest-barrier-in-success-is-the-fear-of-failureSuccess and fear.  Are they related?  How could you have one and the other as well.  Well, you can.  For example, if you are a success, it could mean that you will have to perform like a success.  If you are a success doing one thing, then you might be expected to be a success at doing other things as well.  If you are a success once, you might be expected to repeat it a second, a third, or a multitude of times.   If you are a success, you might be expected to look like a success, live like a success,etc.  If you are a success, you might be expected to be happy.  If you are a success then someone else might try to compete with you.  If you are a success then the competition increases it becomes more difficult to be a success.  If you are a success and then you fail, you might feel worse than if you had never succeeded at all.success-churchill-550x240

 

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Why Be Upset?

English: An anxious person

English: An anxious person (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Anxiety is a common problem.  It is separate from fear which is more realistic.  Combat generates fear.  The post-traumatic stress that comes after the scene of combat is left generates anxiety.  Fear lasts as long as the threat of danger lasts.  Anxiety can go on forever.  It can be generated in anticipation of a stress-or and can last long after actual fear is gone.  Fear can be helpful and can aid the person’s response to a real threat.  The “fight or flight response” can be elicited and used to successfully deal with the frightening situation.

Anxiety can very in its onset.  Sometimes it is strongest early in the morning right after a person gets up or it can build throughout the day and be strongest at the end of the day.   If you are aware of the pattern of your anxiety response, you can more successfully deal with it.  The most important thing is to not over react when your anxiety is strong.  Distraction can be helpful especially when you know that if you can get your mind off what is bothering you, you will probably feel better later in the day.  If you have the opposite problem where anxiety is strongest just before you go to bed, you can use the strategy of telling yourself that once you get to sleep you will feel better in the morning

 

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Generating Fear and Anger

Can't Get You Out of My Thoughts

Can't Get You Out of My Thoughts (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Do you resent people for what you think they have done to you in the past?  Are you concerned about things over which you have no control in the future or in the present moment?  Do you continually have such thoughts and they make you anxious and get you upset?  Did you ever think about how easily you can be controlled  because of these thoughts?   You may be calmly sitting in your recliner watching TV when something is mentioned that you are concerned about but is not happening to you at the present moment.  Are your feelings aroused?  These are usually not positive thoughts.  They can prevent you from enjoying life’s present moments and keep you from being in the here and now.  What might have been a pleasant break from everyday responsibilities turns into an unpleasant reaction to hidden fears and concerns that are associated with the content of the TV program you are watching.  The news often does not calm you and fill you with gratitude for the things life has given you.  The current presidential campaigns have taken on a negative slant and they must think that it works or why do they this?   Why do people think that the best way to motivate people is by hate and fear?  Psychological studies involving behavior modification find that rewards do a better job of changing behavior especially when they are associated with a desired positive behavior.  Unwanted behavior when eliminated must have the behaviors that are wanted already in place to take their place.

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