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Centerpointe Research

Games People Play

Are You Shoveling Somebody Else’s S–t?

Have you found yourself saying, “Why don’t you….?” and getting a”Yes, but ….” in reply?”   This scenario comes from a book called,”The Games People Play” by Erick Bernes, M. D.  The person actually doesn’t want a solution to his or her problem.  Consciously or unconsciously he or she is getting some kind of payoff by not changing.  You think that by helping your friend, you will be getting a needed boost to your self-esteem.  You are counting on that to be your payoff.  Part of the game is that nobody admits they are playing the game and that no mutually

The Games You Play

The Games You Play (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

satisfying solution is possible.  This game can be played over and over again with no successful conclusion.

The game can go even farther when you invest, not only time, but money and effort,  into this proposition.  You the helper gets mad and frustrated and the friend with the problem gets their feelings hurt when you do.

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