Discover our App

Centerpointe Research

Grief Loss and Bereavement

The Middle Way

Being so bound up in life that everything that happens creates drama is not the way to live. It is better toMiddle Way, Summertown, Oxford

take the middle way. Taking the middle way does not mean that you don’t have any feelings; but it does mean that you don’t get so excited or upset that you can not think rationally. It is okay to cry or get mad but not to the point that you overreact and do something which you might regret later. Being suicidal or homicidal is not taking the middle way. Things happen and life goes on anyway. Grieving is a natural process which leads towards the eventual but not necessarily a quick acceptance of the loss.  Anger can be handled by writing in a place that is for your eyes only such as in a journal. It can be acted out safely by beating a pillow with your fists. We should not let negative emotions ruin our lives and crowd out positive emotions such as joy and love. Enjoy positive emotions, but don’t let them go to your head. It is wonderful to fall in love with your heart , but it is not safe to ignore subtle signs that this person might not be as wonderful as we initially thought that he or she was. Don’t lose your head when experiencing a strong emotion. That new car that you love might be a gas guzzler and expensive to drive. Take the middle way.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Blessings to Those Who Have Loved Ones Who Have Departed This Season

Death Valley

Death Valley (Photo credit: Frank Kehren)

It is a sad time of the year to lose a loved one.  It can make succeeding holiday seasons unhappy ones.  Those who have departed probably would not have wanted to ruin the holidays for you.  Rather the holidays should be a time to remember lost ones with warm memories of times past when you were blessed with their presence.

It is unfortunate, but true, that we can’t have everyone to be with us our entire lifetime.  Some people are with us only for a short time.  It is often a gift that they were with us or we were with them that long.  Often we can not predict when and where we will leave them or they will leave us.  When it happens, it is a shock to the system and we are often left numb.

Sometimes loved ones hang on long after they are ready to leave.  They do so to protect loved ones.  They need to see someone one last time or someone needs to see them one last time or in the case of an impending birth, they want to be there and experience the birth of a child or grandchild.

The timing of a death is sometimes, but not always, chosen by the person who is leaving this earth.  The person or persons who are left behind are often not aware of this and may feel rejected or guilty in response to the passing.  The deceased consciously or unconsciously chooses the time of death and  and who will or will not be there.  This decision is usually made with the best of intentions, but often those surviving don’t know about them and can misinterpret the circumstances surrounding the death.

Sudden deaths, violent deaths, accidental deaths, are the hardest to deal with and can lead to potentially life destroying grief for those who are left behind.  Those with a spiritual path can sometimes cope better with these things than those who don’t.  Those who have a spiritual path, must realize how hard it is for those who don’t and sympathize with them and not make it harder on them by saying that they should have been more spiritual.

Being thankful at the holiday season for all those souls who have touched my soul and who will touch my soul in the future.  Although I may have had you for what seemed like such a short time, I would rather have had you for the limited time I did than not to have had you at all.  Love you, Carol, little Jennifer, and baby-to-be Polnow.  You are always in my heart.

Enhanced by Zemanta